Jolt Country

This base. I'm taking ideas. List them. It's your chance to affect the quality of this place for the better.

Only post in this base if you are drunk!!!

Lets everyone know where teh funny is!




THE
NEEDS MORE
DRUNK
AARDVARK

Okay, that's not bad. The drunk base. Good start so far.

Anyone else? Note! You do not have to be drunk to suggest a new focus for this base!

We could invite random "gothic" kids from live journal to post poetry and give them shit for it as if we didn't invite them.

<s>Maybe this should be the cooking base!!!</s>

Hey, maybe this could be the "serious" base, where we put our hair back up, comport ourselves like adults, and discuss the serious matters or our world. Philosophy, religion, art, ethics, literature.

Actually, y'know what, put my vote down for drunk base.

Speaking as someone who's drunk.

So there's this girl. I'm madly in love with her. Have been for some time. But it's complicated. I've been filling the intervening time by sleeping with as many women as are willing; how she's filled the intervening time, I know not.

She'd promised to come out with us tonight. I called yesterday to give her the details. She never called back. Fine: that's it. She's delivered the final blow-off. She's made it clear. I believe I proclaimed this to friends (and the bar in general) several times throughout the evening.

I just got home, and there's a voicemail message from her, apologizing and giving an actual decent reason for not appearing.

Shit. Of course, I managed to fall back madly in love with her in the :20 of that voicemail message.

Making things worse, I'm out of beer.

Greg

See! See! It'll work, I tell ya..




THE
ITS ALIVE!!!!!
AARDVARK

gsdgsd wrote:Shit. Of course, I managed to fall back madly in love with her in the :20 of that voicemail message.

So, "she had you at :20"?

Hardass. They get me by "Hey! Can you go out and buy me a pack of cigarettes/drive me to work/take me to this concert/massage my legs for me?"

Vitriola wrote:Hardass. They get me by "Hey! Can you go out and buy me a pack of cigarettes/drive me to work/take me to this concert/massage my legs for me?"

Well, it was a voicemail. More impersonal, donchaknow. So my resolve was a little stronger, it took a little more time to break through the charcoal surrounding my heart.

In person, if she'd unleashed the big brown eyes, she would've had me at :00 and a half.

In person, if she'd unleashed the big brown eyes, she would've had me at :00 and a half.

And in the future, when we can craft little icons for ourselves and send them over the phonelines to let others know who's calling, she can scan a pic of her eyes and get you driving out to bring her a Snickers bar at 4:30 in the am. I know I can't wait.

In person, if she'd unleashed the big brown eyes, she would've had me at :00 and a half.

So how many Old 97s songs make you think of this girl?

Vitriola wrote:...she can scan a pic of her eyes and get you driving out to bring her a Snickers bar at 4:30 in the am. I know I can't wait.

The sad thing is, that image makes me want to do exactly that. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE LIKES SNICKERS BARS.

help

gsdgsd wrote:The sad thing is, that image makes me want to do exactly that. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE LIKES SNICKERS BARS.

If she doesn't, she's not worth having in the long term, anyway.

-HR4

I'll e-mail tonight to find out about the Snickers bars.

Perhaps I can finally put this ugly time behind me, or at least establish once and for all that it is indeed worth pursuing.

Thanks, HR4.

Remember, the further she lives from you, the better that Snickers will taste to her.

So, do you cry when you hear Elton John songs now? Or anything from Chicago XVIII?

Vitriola wrote:Remember, the further she lives from you, the better that Snickers will taste to her.

She actually lives a good distance from me, so that's good to know. Valuable intelligence. Thanks, Vitriola. I don't care what Robb says -- you're good people.

So, do you cry when you hear Elton John songs now? Or anything from Chicago XVIII?

I heard "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" in a bar last night and DIDN'T CRY, so the answer's no. Though I was drunk, which may skew the test results.

I haven't owned a Chicago album since "16" -- that was the last one where they really had that true, honest street sound. Fucking sellouts.

Greg

:(

If you can hear that song drunk in a bar, in the throes of unrequited love and not cry, my bent-over child, then you may rest assured that your heart is a flawless ball of polished obsidian, and you should get over her in no time. And I mean get over her in the with-all-4-wheels, in forward and reverse kind of way. You soulless heathen miscreant. You make my sequins wilt in shame...

Okay, just caught myself up here.

As long as inanimate objects, locations, record singles and fruit loops who rework all their old songs into ballads about dead blondes continue to post here, this place will never be in trouble. Good game, all of you.

I have a question. Just exactly what the fuck is this base for? I'd certainly post to it more, except I don't exactly get the joke. Are you supposed to post long monalogues as dead celebrities or some such? I... I just don't get it. Help!