Jolt Country

http://www.livejournal.com/users/grunk

Re: Ba-ha-hahahahha!!

It's gotten so that I am checking Grunk out daily. Grunk is an orc. Grunk keeps a Live Journal. I had never read a Live Journal from someone other than a 13 year old girl before, so this (as far as I am concerned) validates the entire site.

Thank you, Grunk. Thank you for restoring my faith not just in humanity... but orcanity as well.

This is really quite excellent. Grunk's Guide to Poker:

Play With Cards
Day before yesterday, Grunk go to get flowers. Strange things happen. Grunk already tell that. Then after things happen, Grunk go to play game, tell other orcs about what happen. Other orcs not believe Grunk, though. Say, "Trees not talk!" and laugh at Grunk. So yesterday, Grunk bring them to place by big building. Place where Grunk help man with plants. Trees there yell at Grunk friends, say "Oooo!" and thing. Ha ha. Then them all have to say that them wrong and Grunk right. That fun.

Game harder to play with new cards. Them cards that Kogluk buy at market last time. Have picture of women on them. Picture of women that not have any clothes. It harder, because cards not have same marks as other cards. Still have same kind of marks, but not as many of them. It easy to tell which cards mean clubs and which mean diamonds and thing. For clubs (them black thing with three round bits), have picture of dwarf females. For diamonds (that red pointy thing), there man females. For hearts (that red thing, pointy at bottom and curvy at top), there elf females. But spades (that black one with point at top and thing sticking out bottom) get orc women. Grunk like spades best.

That part not why game harder, though. Game harder because there not lots of little marks in middle of card. Before, two of diamond mean there two diamond in middle of card. Three of club have three club; three and two and three of spade have three and two and three spade. Now, have to figure out from other little mark, in corner of card. It "two round thing, one on top of other" of club, now. Or "round thing with hook on top" of diamond. Or sometimes say "round thing with hook on top of elf." It mean same thing. Work OK for Go-Fish. Say "Prgukar, have any bent thingies?" But Grunk think it not work that good for Poke-Her. Grunk know that two and two and one come after two and two, but not know if straight line come before or after curve with line over it. Grunk think two curve look like half of two round thing, though.

Get ready to go blind!

http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml ... emid=4458l

Please, nobody make a joke about "blueballs". Thanks.

gsdgsd wrote:Get ready to go blind!

http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml ... emid=4458l

Right now, I really wish I had a wife so that someone could break into my apartment, attempt to injure her, me hear it, get clocked in the face, develop anterograde amnesia like the Memento guy and be unable to make new memories.

Starting at T-Minus about five minutes from right... now.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: I had never read a Live Journal from someone other than a 13 year old girl before, so this (as far as I am concerned) validates the entire site.

Does your local police department know about this?

I should also note that "Pass The Banana"'s own Admiral Jota is the comedy emperor who is behind that journal.

Does your local police department know about this?

Not yet, but it's costing me more than rent each month to keep my ISP quiet.