Jolt Country

Okay, let's hear it:

If you're a guy, have you ever slipped one past the goalie?

If you're a girl, have you ever been beaten through the five hole while in the "butterfly" stance?

If so, how did it happen, what happened, and what was the end result of the game?

I would really like to know where this is headed.

Bruce can probably trump me on this, but I've known 2 couples who conceived while on Jaeger, 1 who conceived during a threesome on acid, and a a couple who conceived on 9/11/2001. The first 3 don't remember a damn thing about any of it, and the last actually ended up losing their baby, which made it pretty hard for me to not constantly make collateral terrorist fatality jokes. (They've since gone on to try again, and are in their second trimester now).

As for me, nothing really interesting, just a couple scares that ultimately weren't. I just can't fucking WAIT for menopause.

Lex wrote:I would really like to know where this is headed.

Can't a guy poll his users about their own OMG pregnancy experiences without having an agenda? Can't he?

Also!

omghelpidontknowwhatotodoicant
affordakidrightnowwhydidistartdrinkingatthetownpumpthatnightomgomgomgginand
tonicstaywiththatnotthosekamikazeomgomghey...
wellihopeitsmineandeverythingomgomgimonestepclosertotheedgeandimabouttobreak

Jeez, I feel real sorry for Vitriola; We all know the size off Robb's head.

So, this weekend?

ICJ's member wrote:So, this weekend?

Gonna be out of town this weekend. You're big, but not 1100 miles big. How's Sunday night after I fly back work for you?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

ICJ's member wrote:So, this weekend?

Gonna be out of town this weekend.

That's what I'm sayin'.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Okay, let's hear it:

If you're a guy, have you ever slipped one past the goalie?

Within the last 365 days: 4 times.

3 of the times I had been heavily drinking. The other time I had a "delayed dismount." Oops!

However, there have been 0 children conceived and no broken bones. Win-Win! Lady Luck (or an unhealthy low sperm count) is on my side.

Vitriola wrote:Bruce can probably trump me on this, but I've known 2 couples who conceived while on Jaeger, 1 who conceived during a threesome on acid, and a a couple who conceived on 9/11/2001.

Nah, can't trump that.

I have knocked up no one. I have had two condoms break and not discovered that till after the fact, neither with conception as a result.

Bruce

I, of course, have not "slipped it past" anyone. I'd just like to mention here that if you're gonna *get* knocked up and have a kid, and you don't think you can handle it, why the fuck can't you addopt at birth? What's twith this obsession that women think its "cute" or "aww, that's so greeeat" to have a kid when you're 16 and can't possibly take care of it? Or, that matter, "well i don`t think i can take care of it now so ill just kil it"? Come on! There are fucking ADOPTION AGENCIES for a fucking REASON! Argh! I don't understand you people!

ChainGangGuy wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Okay, let's hear it:

If you're a guy, have you ever slipped one past the goalie?

Within the last 365 days: 4 times.

3 of the times I had been heavily drinking. The other time I had a "delayed dismount." Oops!

Please tell me that you're not one of "those people" who think that pulling out is a legitimate form of birth control.

YEEESH.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote: Please tell me that you're not one of "those people" who think that pulling out is a legitimate form of birth control.

YEEESH.

What's wrong with playing a little Vatican Roulette?

Nothing, really, if you don't mind dancing the coat-hanger tango.

God damn, whatever happened to birth control??

Vitriola wrote:Nothing, really, if you don't mind dancing the coat-hanger tango.

Why do you hate America?

Jack Straw wrote:God damn, whatever happened to birth control??

You should know!

Touche.

é = ALT+0233

Geek.