Jolt Country

For your approval:

As advertised:






Reality:







What?

I don't get it.

Never had sea monkies, you uncultured fuck?

please, please tell me you dint cut up yer Captian Jubilee comic book to send away for sea monkeys!

I always thought the female looking one was vaguely hot, but then I didn't get out much as a kid. Maybe it was the skin color, suggesting that these things were NEKKID!


THE
MARVEL
CENTERFOLD
AARDVARK

I am debating getting a new Sea Monkey set; it being part of the American Dream, I'm pretty sure I was the only kid in Britain who had them for a while.

Anyhoo, the site is listing all sorts of cool junk; right now, it's a toss up between:

http://www.sea-monkeys.com/html/shoponl ... magic.html

Which has a lovely castle, and would look darling with the Magic Gems floating around their heads, or

http://www.sea-monkeys.com/html/shoponl ... _mars.html

Because it's MARS. I dunno.

But I do still like the executive set:

http://www.sea-monkeys.com/html/shoponl ... il_ex.html

Yes.

The Sea Monkey experience doesn't really work unless you're able to enslave the monkeys, kill the men, and then ravage the female sea monkeys, what with there being no male sea monkeys to save them.

Of course, it helps if they look like little humans like they do in the ads. Only they don't. So it always seemed kind of pointless.

But yeah. In America, cigarettes and sea monkey distributors are pretty much allowed to say whatever the hell they want to say.

Something about SeaMonkeys MARS is too kitsch to not immediately purchase. It's kinda like seeing a sign for Walt Disney's HARLEM, or whatnot.

Yes, okay, See Monkey's on MARS it is. But the executive set woud look sooo good on my desk :(.