Jolt Country

I'm shamelessly plagiarizing from the current issue of <i>Modern Drunkard Magazine</i> (http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com), which answers the question, "What do I do for a mixer when it's three in the morning, I have a bottle of shitty vodka, and a mostly-empty fridge" ?

Chewy Bloody Mary
2 oz vodka
3 oz pasta sauce
1 oz salsa
1 packet Taco Bell Hot Sauce


Stir until your wrist gets tired, then serve over ice.

Mustard Gas
1 oz vodka
Squirt of yellow mustard

Combine in shot glass and shoot very quickly indeed.

The Reanimator
3 oz vodka
Water
All the leftover muck on the bottom of the jam and jelly jars languishing in your fridge.
3 T instant potato flakes

Add a little water to the jars. Shake vigorously. Pour and scrape into blender. Add vodka to blender. Add potato flakes to blender because otherwise this will be a very watery drink. Blend. Drink. With ice if you like, but honestly, it's not going to help much.


Enjoy!

Bruce

Have 4 packages of Jell-O mix in the pantry that nobody will make, but everybody (you) keeps buying? Pour box into pitcher, add the hot water like it says to dissolve the powder, add ice, add liquor.

Fruit molding in the basket? Peel, blend, add water.

Pour vodka over bread. Eat like bread pudding.

Give the people who run the liquor store across the street access to your apartment's hot tub, then beat them while they're there to go open the store for you.