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[RECIPE] Matar Kheema with Persian Rice

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 6:59 pm
by Curry Expert
Naturally, your first question is, "Hey Curry Expert, isn't Kheema a traditional Indian dish? Why are you serving it with 'Persian' rice?"

Because I like it, that's why. Feel free to substitute "Annoying Little Twerp Rice" if you'd like.

MATAR KHEEMA (ground beef with peas)
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4 tbsp vegetable oil
5 cloves
2 bay leaves
1 stick cinnamon
1 medium onion, halved and sliced paper thin. Seriously.
1 medium onion, chopped fine (whether you "like the texture" or not)
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 inch piece ginger, minced
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp turmeric
2 tbsp yogurt
2 tbsp tomato sauce/tomato puree
1 lb lean ground beef
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 tbsp salt
1/2 cup frozen/shelled fresh peas

In small skillet, heat 2 tbsp oil over medium-high. Throw in paper-thin onions and fry for about 10 minutes until dark and crispy. Set onions aside to drain on paper towels.

In larger skillet (or any big pot with a cover), heat remaining oil.
Throw in cinammon stick, bay leaves, cloves, and fry for a couple minutes.
Throw in chopped onion, garlic and ginger, fry until onions get medium-dark.
Turn heat down a little, throw in cumin, coriander, turmeric, and fry for a couple minutes, stirring like a maniac to prevent burning.
Throw in yogurt and tomato sauce, fry for a minute or two.
Turn heat up to high, throw in beef, and fry for 7-8 minutes until brown, breaking up pieces as you go.
Throw in cayenne, salt, and 1/2 cup of water.
Turn heat to low, cover, simmer for an hour, stirring occasionally.
Throw in peas, simmer for another 10 minutes.
Throw in crispy onions, stir, and serve. Garnish with chopped cilantro, finely sliced green chiles, or both. Or neither. What do I care?

Serves 2-3. Double recipe for double the folks.

PERSIAN RICE
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1 nonstick saucepan with tight-fitting cover.
2 cups basmati rice, well rinsed. Don't screw around.
3 cups water (the proper ratio is 1.5-1, not 2-1, as you people insist.)
1 tsp veg oil
1 tsp salt
1 flour tortilla large enough to just cover the bottom of the pan.
Extra veg oil/water

Bring rice, water, salt, and 1 tsp veg oil to boil in pan.
Reduce to low, cover, simmer for 10 minutes, or until water is absorbed.
Empty rice into bowl.
Clean out saucepan, and place a tbsp of oil and water in the bottom, enough to just cover the surface.
Heat over medium.
Place tortilla flat on the bottom, and cover with the pre-cooked rice.
Wrap lid with a dry paper towel, and cover pan.
Cook over medium for 5 minutes or so, then reduce heat to low and cook for another hour, until water flicked against side of saucepan sizzles and evaporates.
Drop pot into a bowl (or bottom of a sink) filled with cold water, to loosen everything up.
Invert pot onto a flat dish. Rice should come out in a cake shape, with the tortilla browned and crispy on top. This layer is called tahdeeg, and is the best fucking thing you will ever shove in your face.

EAT, goddamn you. EAT.

Image

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:06 pm
by Vitriola
Nice rubber tablecloth-that-is-meant-to-go-under-a-tablecloth there, Curry Expert. Maybe you need some goddamn decorating tips. Why not serve that with some I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Squalor?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:07 pm
by pinback
VitriolaX: Looks good. i refuse, however, to ever attempt somehting like that for someone who'd rather get 'mac' and 'tenders' from King Soopers, no matter what I make. Unless there's a goddamn ring on my finger, I shall never spend more than 45 minutes in front of a stove, so help me!

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:10 pm
by Curry Expert
Vitriola wrote:Maybe you need some goddamn decorating tips.
Maybe you need some goddamn shut the fuck up tips. I hope your "victims" enjoy eating their "ramen gumbo with stale saltine & grape jelly sauce with a side of pork rind leavins" on your elaborate place settings.

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:11 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
pinback wrote:VitriolaX: Looks good. i refuse, however, to ever attempt somehting like that for someone who'd rather get 'mac' and 'tenders' from King Soopers, no matter what I make. Unless there's a goddamn ring on my finger, I shall never spend more than 45 minutes in front of a stove, so help me!
Hahahah, it's popcorn chicken -- not tenders -- that rock at the Soop Soop Soopers, Aunt Jemima!


Wait, we have another comment that just came in over AIM:
VitriolaX: Either you get a good, all-nighter home cooked meal from some dowdy suzy-homemaker, or you get blowjobs 'til dawn from the rockslut you're shacking up with. Your choice.

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:12 pm
by Worm
So, you guys don't live with one another? What is with the IMs?

Re: [RECIPE] Matar Kheema with Persian Rice

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:13 pm
by bruce
Curry Expert wrote:Naturally, your first question is, "Hey Curry Expert, isn't Kheema a traditional Indian dish? Why are you serving it with 'Persian' rice?"

Because I like it, that's why. Feel free to substitute "Annoying Little Twerp Rice" if you'd like.
Do you mean "Vijay Singh Rice"? Do we have a clue as to Curry Expert's Secret Identity as TigerCast 2K4?

Bruce

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:15 pm
by Curry Expert
ALL OF YOU, get this idiotic conversation out of my RECIPE thread. This thread is for a RECIPE, and if you were smart, and ever wanted to eat anything better than "Instant Slop for Two", you'd pay attention to what I have written instead of yammering back and forth about worthless nonsense.

I demand to be moderator of this base. That's how we do things here, right? We demand things?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:23 pm
by Vitriola
I'd say that's a pretty self-contained post there, CE. What, were we going to argue with you about what you ate for dinner? I prefer to denigrate your deplorable table setting, Bruce wished to out you as some secret superhero sports name, and Worm wished to remain in ingominious cluelessness. What were you, ah, expecting?

I had fried chicken for dinner. I'd give it an 8/10.

we're about 5...4...3...2...1 away from Pinback berating this board for devolving into chats about what we ate for dinner. What would you say to that, CE?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:29 pm
by Curry Expert
That's right, self-contained. Let me explain how this works. I provide a thorough recipe, complete with full-color photo, and you look at it, learn from it, maybe drool over it a little, maybe commend me on my spectacular food preparation talents, and then go about your business.

Understand? Is this all clear enough for you? Clear like canned, low-sodium chicken broth?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 9:46 pm
by bruce
Curry Expert wrote:Tcommend me on my spectacular food preparation talents
Well, all right. It looks like a very nice recipe. I appreciate the tip about dropping the pot into a bowl of cold water and then inverting it to get that nice cake effect.

Do you want my lamb vindaloo recipe?

Bruce

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 9:58 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
bruce wrote:Do you want my lamb vindaloo recipe?
Does it take less than 45 minutes to prepare? If so, then yeah.

Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2004 9:15 am
by Curry Expert
bruce wrote:Do you want my lamb vindaloo recipe?
As the Curry Expert, obviously I need no help from you in creating a lamb vindaloo.

However, I am sure the other, lesser talented and knowledgeable cookies on here would be interested.

Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2004 12:43 pm
by Vitriola
I, too, crave Vindaloo.