ATTEMPTED SOLUTION #1: Blow away computer and reinstall Windows from scratch.
STATUS: FAILED.
ATTEMPTED SOLUTION #2: Download every Windows patch, every video patch, every audio patch, every FlashBIOS patch, every software patch known to man for my laptop computer.
STATUS: FAILED.
ATTEMPTED SOLUTION #3: Screamed and cried and pouted and punched small animals in the face.
STATUS: FAILED. (BUT CATHARTIC.)
ATTEMPTED SOLUTION #4:
STATUS: SUCCESS.
Appears to have been a heating problem. Amazing.
IS THERE ANY PROBLEM WC3 CAN'T SOLVE????