Jolt Country

Well, tonight I was asked by my girlfriend to swing by for a chat. When asked by a coworker what the subject matter would be, I innocently joked, "I'll probably get an ultimatum."

And, here's the ultimatum I received. Together, let's take a fault-finding journey in the life of me!:


Things I need:

#1 I need to feel like you will be there for me no matter what. Like if I ask you to take my dog out, I expect you to make sure you do and put her on a leash and take her for a walk if that's what it takes. I feel like I have to be very descriptive when I ask you to do something because I am afraid you will only do it half way. I really feel like I can't trust you, and I need to.

(I was asked once to "make sure the dog whizzed." I let the dog out, and sure enough -- it whizzed. I have never seen her or a member of her family utilize a leash on the small dog. I sense this is going to be a pretty shoddy list if this our introductory criticism. Maybe it's just a warm-up.)

#2 I need you to support my habits and me. I can't have you bringing home pizza when you know that I trying to diet, or distracting me from things like school.

(The pizza was given to me by my friend and Papa Johns employee, Robb. Hey, I'm too impoverished to turn down a free pie! I told her I wouldn't let her have any, and besides, the pizza was covered in meat. She's a vegetarian. I guess I just didn't see the problem in this. As for school, I'm constantly talking her out of skipping class and simply dropping her courses. I'm always eager to assist her in studying for her upcoming philosophy tests. Hey! And I nearly thanklessly and single-handedly completed one of her final projects this semester. This distraction complaint is totally unfounded -- why should I take the blame for her being a lousy college student and making poor grades?)

#3 I need you to be more independent. I need to have someone who is strong and independent. I know you are "just having fun" but your 23. A lot of people have fun but have responsibilities. I need to know that you can take care of your self so that if need be you can take care of me.

(Is this because I botched a load of laundry a couple weeks back? Responsible?! I generally work between 35 and 44 hours a week. Most of my money goes to compensate her for barely working 15 hours a week. Much to the dismay of ROCKER, I have effectively reduced my rawking by 85% or more. I find this complaint to be just as puzzling and downright erroneous as the previous ones. When I intially read item #3, I assumed it would turn into a need for me to be more focused on a set of life goals, which would be quite valid for someone as meandering as myself. It wasn't. What's going on here?!)

#4 I need you to be proud that we are together. I don't know why you are so ashamed of our relationship and me. Why am I not allowed to hang out with your friends. Why was it so long for you to tell them about me. I want you to introduce me. I need to be able to walk into a room and feel full of confidence I am there with my boyfriend who thinks the world of me.

(Almost valid on this one! Okay, I'll admit, I've always been lousy about introducing people. Hey, if any of us are at a party and I forget to introduce you to someone, lemme just apologize in advance. Please don't assume I'm ashamed of you. Even if I don't think the world of you. But, I have never once told her she was not allowed to socialize with my friends -- I simply enjoy occasionally spending a little time with my pals outside of the couple configuration. Is that so wicked? Does my schedule have to only consist of either AT WORK or WITH CHRISTINA? Apparently so! She's fully allowed to spend time with her friends without me. I don't even put up much of a fuss when she's caught kissing other guys at parties I did not attend. Argh! I walked into this forum tonight feeling full of confidence that this letter would give me a headache.)

I know this is not something that is going to happen in one day. But, I do feel that these feelings and emotions should have evolved over the year or so we have been seeing each other. I think you have done so much for me in this past year and changed a lot of your habits. You're great for always buying flowers for me when I am sad. I do notice, and it is appreciated. And I do love you and as long as you are willing to work on these things then I would love to be with you. Because I need a lot, I am sure you know that.

(I do now! Thx a million!)

Wow, these gimmick posts are getting CRAZIER and CRAZIER!

I should've posted under the Horus P. Truthteller moniker. Oh well, live and learn!

I think that number four would be stand a better chance to be realized if she didn't send you a letter with points one, two and three.

Yeah man, she sounds a little fragile. See if a cock in the ass will turn her around.

Hey, I resemble that remark!

So, have you actually told her any of these snappy replies?

Marcie wrote:Hey, I resemble that remark!

Damn str8.

-Your coworker knew your business before you did.

-She's irresponsible and will always blame you for her lost opportunities, weight, grades, and low confidence.

-She treats you like a child.

-She has little mental lists of all your wrongdoings that she saves up unti, critical mass and then fired them all off at you.

-She's needy

-If she doesn't see you as a strong, independent man now, she's not going to when you act more liike it just because she said so. Get a woman who treats you with respect and thinks the world of you.

-She's not funny.

This is the water. It is getting hotter. You are the frog.

She sounds like a pain. Why are you going out with her?

Worm wrote:So, have you actually told her any of these snappy replies?

Yes. I had expanded the responses and returned her letter via e-mail last night. This morning I received the following text message on my cellphone:

"Now that you have had your fun, maybe we can talk because that e-mail was NOT what I need. Let's do this tonight after I get off of work. I'll call you."

There you have it. NOT what she needed.

Gerrit's girlfriend wrote:Because I need a lot, I am sure you know that.

Alright. Alright! Enough already.

Violet wrote:She sounds like a pain. Why are you going out with her?

She wasn't like this until recently. She was a peach all the way up until a few weeks ago. Are most girls like fresh store-bought fruit? They inexplicably spoil and sour after a certain amount of time?

ChainGangGuy wrote:"Now that you have had your fun, maybe we can talk because that e-mail was NOT what I need. Let's do this tonight after I get off of work. I'll call you."

Whoaaaa! You got totally dissed. I don't think she thinks you're serious here.

Why not show her this thread to prove how serious you are?

Gerrit's girlfriend wrote:Because I need a lot, I am sure you know that.

Alright. Alright! Enough already.

There must be some good parts to this relationship, though, right? Something to make it all worthwhile?

I have a serious question. It's serious.

Gerrit, how would you define the "magic" of your girlfriend?

ChainGangGuy wrote:

Violet wrote:She sounds like a pain. Why are you going out with her?

She wasn't like this until recently. She was a peach all the way up until a few weeks ago. Are most girls like fresh store-bought fruit? They inexplicably spoil and sour after a certain amount of time?

Unfortunately yes. They put on their game face to snag a boyfriend and then they throw the old one two. How long has this relationship lasted?

I think this happens a lot. She's had her fun and now she wants to change you. Why can't people get over themselves. You can't change another person to meet your needs. If a girl is unsatisfied with the way things are going maybe she should leave the relationship.

I mean she doesn't obviously want to change herself to make things easier for you. That wouldn't be good for her, so why should she expect you to change?

Violet wrote: You can't change another person to meet your needs.

But can you change another person- say, our child- to meet the needs of the people?

I vote asking her if you can post it online, then show her this thread after Jonsey has changed the dates. Obviously, do this via "I bet you're talking about this with your girlfriends".

#5 She smelled like soup

A wise man I know once said, "All women are broken, some more than others". This thread is another example of that.

I've also heard "you can't fuck a crazy girl sane." Maybe Gerrit has done the opposite, though???