Jolt Country

OK, so I've said in the past that if (when?) Dubya is re-elected in November that I want to relocate. Call me a yellow bellied communist, call me unpatriotic (oh darn), call me what you will - but DON'T call bullshit.
Just to remind me to keep searching, here's a few of my ideas (that I put together in 2 hours here at work, exhaustive research muahahah)

LOCALE: Canada
PROS: Decriminalized marijuana, countrywide healthcare, FUCKIN HOCKEY
CONS: Value of dollar is slightly more than wooden nickels, nothing more than a wannabe US, "eh" and spelling shit "centre" is annoying, cold

LOCALE: Buenos Aires
PROS: super cheap cost of living, kickass weather, hot-n-crispy Argentine hos.
CONS: No llama espanol. Cockroaches as big as NYC sewer rats.

LOCALE: Scotland
PROS: Lex, haggis, pints abound
CONS: Lex

LOCALE: Equador
PROS: Ride galapagos turtles, kick-ass weather year round, quality coffee
CONS: Last political uprising less than 3 years ago, turtles bite, Jack Straw dead after getting too close to Columbian border, no obit.

Other great options made popular in recent years are:
-Cave in Afghanistan
-Treehouse in Amazon jungle (me tarzan)
-Underground palace in Iraq

Either that, or I'll find an island and make my own country. With my own laws. No fat bitches or metrosexuals. National food is "garbage plate".
Maybe I should just get a houseboat. S.S. Straw.
I betcha I could pick this up for pennies on the dollar:

Don't you need relatives or a workers visa?

Will you be returning after W's second term is complete?

You should explore different avenues and living arrangements in this world, Jack. I don't know that you have to have a crappy president get re-elected for it to work, though.

It's an infinite, beautiful world out there, and I -- for one -- am a little upset regarding the fact that of the two or three continents worth going to, I have only been on one.

Straw, what happened to the 'move out west and become a cop' plan?

pinback wrote:Will you be returning after W's second term is complete?

Not if Jeb's gonna be next.

Casual Observer wrote:Straw, what happened to the 'move out west and become a cop' plan?

Never wanted to be a cop. I'm an internship away from finishing my associates in criminal justice. With my record I'll probably have to do some military service to get in where I want (Los Federales, hacker/cybercrime would be nice) and there's no way in hell I'm going to be draftable when a Bush has his finger on the trigger.

Utah is fuckin sweet and I'd love to move out west.. but if I'm gonna move, why half-ass it?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You should explore different avenues and living arrangements in this world, Jack. I don't know that you have to have a crappy president get re-elected for it to work, though.

I'm being facetious. I'm not exactly looking forward to Patriot Act II, but I realize that this country is fucked regardless of which Skull-n-bones neocon gets "elected".

Jack Straw wrote:Utah is fuckin sweet

Yeah, and you can have as many wives as you want there.

Jack Straw wrote:and there's no way in hell I'm going to be draftable when a Bush has his finger on the trigger.

Doesn't matter where you live...if you're still a US citizen, you can be drafted. You'd have to formally renounce your citizenship to get out of the draft and become a citizen of another country (which probably has compulsory military service anyway).

AssClown wrote:Yeah, and you can have as many wives as you want there.

Not true...the government outlawed polygamy about 100 years ago.

pinback wrote:Will you be returning after W's second term is complete?

Why bother, all of those countries will be under U.S. control by then.

Jack Straw wrote:PROS: haggis

yuck. . . looks like something Pinback would make.

Haggis is a wonderful thing and you are a cruel person for judging it having never had it's aromatic flavours waft into your piehole.

No fat bitches or metrosexuals. National food is "garbage plate".

The national food being "garbage plate", will put a damper on your no fat bitches platform.

Jack Straw wrote:there's no way in hell I'm going to be draftable when a Bush has his finger on the trigger.

Why not just tell them that ur a fag? That should keep you out of the draft.

Shit. I really want a Haggis now :(.

Chris, "assclown" (what a fitting name):

By "draftable" I am not talking about the (real) possibility of Bush starting a draft if he knew he was on his last 4 years.

I am talking specifically of my plan, if I am to continue pursuing a career in the US criminal justice system. Which is ROTC.
Reserve
Officers
Training
Corp

Even though you're training in the states and going to school at the same time, you're highly draftable. If I wanted that I'd just join the fuckin Marines. That's what ROTC is supposed to be .. military in conjunction with school.
Assclown - I'm a fag the same way you're an unpredictable and witty poster.[/b]

Lex wrote:Shit. I really want a Haggis now :(.

This is one of the less common phrases in the English language.

Bruce