Jolt Country

Dear Management of WNEW, 102.7.

This open letter is to address your recent decision to fire the hosts of your long-running, successful afternoon drive-time comedy show, "The Opie & Anthony Show".

The two hosts were fired as a result of a "radio stunt" which culminated in two listeners having sex in a Catholic church. The two listeners, as you know, were subsequently arrested, along with an unnamed member of the show's crew.

I am not a religious man, nor have I been a listener of the Opie & Anthony show for the past two years (since they are not syndicated to the area of the country I moved to), but as a result of your management decisions, I have decided to take the following course of action:

1. I have dedicated my life and everlasting soul to my new Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, son of Almighty God and source of humanity's salvation.

2. I will now spend every remaining free moment of my life praying for both your slow, painful, agonizing death, as well as your subsequent eternal stay in the hottest, most torturous, exquisitely horrific place in Hell. Preferably the place that Hitler and Osama just narrowly avoided because Satan, at the last minute, said, "Well, I mean... nobody's THAT bad."

I hope this open letter has been able to adequately elucidate my searing disdain for you, and your entire ugly, retarded families.

Hatefully yours,

Ben Parrish.

P.S. Die, die, die.

Here's my problem with talk radio:

1) All the "wacky" stuff has already been done. It's a dead medium. You know how there's no new content on the Onion, and how they've been writing the same article for the past three years? Imagine the Onion having to fill three hours, every single day of the year, in three or four competing stations for every single city in the country. The wacky radio comedy routine storehouse has been MINED DRY.

2) When something new or fresh DOES come through the pipe (and I am not talking about racist stuff, like that one shithead who stated that if a few more black leaders were shot we'd all have an entire week off -- that guy got what he deserved) the guys who created that sparkling new content get their asses canned.

This results in talk radio being wholly unlistenable. Ah, I should probably say "mostly," not wholly. Yeah, we'll go with that.

Also: since when it is against the law to have sex in a Catholic church? Priests butt-fuck little boys there all the time! SSSSSSSOMEBODY STOP ME

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Here's my problem with talk radio:

Here's my problem with you:

You have no idea what you are talking about. Please list, for all of our edification, the talk radio shows you have listened to with any regularity, at any point over the last, say, five years. Go ahead.

The wacky radio comedy routine storehouse has been MINED DRY.

Is that right? So, nobody on air has anything funny to say anymore, because it's already been said? Jesus Christ, it must be nervewracking being your friend, always walking around in a panicked haze, trying to come up with something new to say to you the next time they see you, so you don't decide they're not fun to hang around with anymore because they're "out of fresh material".

the guys who created that sparkling new content get their asses canned.

Hmm. I was hoping to rip you an ass throughout your entire post, but now you're almost starting to make some sense here.

talk radio being wholly unlistenable.

Well, I'd say "mostly", rather than wholly, but you've got a point.

Ah, I should probably say "mostly," not wholly.

Bingo! That Robb, I always liked that guy.

For the record, the O&A show was great, not because of the "wacky stunts" they pulled (which were largely unpleasant and unfunny, like the one that ended up doing them in) but because the counterplay in the studio was often constant-stream-of-tears-of-laughter funny, and Anthony is a brilliant voiceman, and they had funny guests (Jay Mohr, Jim Breuer, Steven Lynch, etc.)

Signed, Current and Future Reader of Robb's Excellence!!

Don and Mike


'Nuff Said



THE
AM
AARDVARK

No, NOT "Nuff said". What about Don & Mike?

Well, I'm not particularly aligned with any religon. I don't necessarly disbelieve in them but I don't completely follow them either. Basically, I accept that God may exist and Jesus may be my saivor as a possibility but I also do accept that it may not be true.

So that said I do not accept a chruch as a sacred place. I accept that a church as a sacred place to people that worship there. I wouldn't have sex in a church out of mutual respect of those people. I expect in respecting people's beliefs they will respect my nuetrality of beliefs. Here is the fucking kicker. The goverment doesn't view that building higher a restraunt bathroom nor do I but you should respect both establisments regardless of religon. It was rude, disrespectful, and illegal. I am not offended and I do not think others should be offended. People have always been disrespectful it won't stop the best thing you can do is develop a thick skin.

Hey, remember that black-haired chick I had the threesome with? She had sex in a Catholic church at the age of 15.
Which is nice.
Oh, she just turned 16, btw.

Don and Mike rule.