Jolt Country

Due to Vitriola's serendipitous acquisition of some flamingo-shaped (seriously, here) pasta, I was given the opportunity to let my cheffing skills flourish and come up with something which would do such a "rare bird" justice.

I therefore came up with: The Pink Flamingo. And while there are some meals that I'm happy to hear the guests enjoy, there are others where I genuinely don't give a crap what the guests say, because I'm so fucking jazzed about how it came out. (Though the guest in this case was suitably delighted, so things didn't have to come to blows.)

I therefore present to you: The Pink Flamingo.

-------------
1 lb flamingo-shaped pasta. (Substitute your favorite small, goofily-shaped pasta.)

4 strips bacon
2 skinned chicken breast filets, diced
4 cloves minced garlic
2 minced large shallots
1 cup dry white wine
1 cup chicken broth/stock
1 cup heavy cream
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 cup basil, chiffonade (or chopped), separated
1 tsp crushed red pepper
1 cup lightly packed grated romano cheese, separated
Salt to taste (obviously)

- Render fat of bacon in large skillet, set aside cooked bacon.
- Brown and cook chicken in bacon fat, set aside
- Put garlic/shallots in pan for 1 minute to cook
- Add wine, deglaze pan, reduce to dry mixture
- Add broth/stock, reduce by half
- Add cream, most of basil, tomato paste, red pepper, cooked chicken and bacon, bring to simmer and reduce slightly.
- Meanwhile cook pasta to al dente.
- Add pasta and most of cheese to sauce and toss.
- Season with salt appropriately.
- Garnish with remaining basil/cheese, and perhaps a little toasted garlic bread (see photo).

That's it. Spec-fuckin'-tacular.

I especially liked how the bread orbited the pasta, giving off that postconsumer, disenfranchised ennui chic.

Finally, someone who understands me.

it looks like a half assed garbage plate on a fancy rich persons plate instead of in a styrofoam.
and why does that napkin have a cock ring?

Why does anyone?

Jack Straw wrote:it looks like a half assed garbage plate on a fancy rich persons plate instead of in a styrofoam.

Well, you enjoy your garbage plate, then.

pinback wrote:

Jack Straw wrote:it looks like a half assed garbage plate on a fancy rich persons plate instead of in a styrofoam.

Well, you enjoy your garbage plate, then.

Hey, you can change your "location" now.

Also: I'll let you know when you cook something better than a Nick Tahou garbage plate. Till then just presume you didn't and you'll be right.

How many days before its sweet flesh touches my lips? Fourteen by my count. Don't get me wrong, I will enjoy those days... but I will also enjoy the sweet release coming to me on that day as WELL.

Hey Straw, before the Dukematch we should gather up some plates and bring them to Walrustitty's house.

Works for me. Lyell will be accomadating to our needs.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:How many days before its sweet flesh touches my lips?

No living creature died in the making of any of those Plates, tho many a one has afterwards.

Also works with bowties and doodads, and spinach instead of basil.

AND YES AND THEN A METEOR FELL OUT OF THE SKY


AND THEN

I liked this dish. I thought that it was colorful and creamy. I think that comes from the colors of the pasta?

The pasta is in a bag which make it looks like a packet of illegal fireworks. Only we were not in Wyoming which, as far as I can tell, exists for two things:

1) To make the Journey to Rushmore a little longer
2) To make it possible to blow one's focking head off on the 4th of July back here in Civilization OH SNAP!

But then again I like chicken and there's something about having it 365 days a year (Leap Year isn't Leap Year without Nest Swine Soup!!) which doesn't get stale to me.

There is also bacon in this meal which is the Nate Dogg of recipes. Everything is a little better with bacon -- or Nate! -- involved somehow.

JC FUN COOKING FAX: I think Ben made this back around November 18, because I remember having the leftovers when I was stuck in the Half-Life II game. So this will get me playing that again, that and having a job which will let me get a new processor so it doesn't stutter like I do when originally trying to describe this recipe's quality taste above.

USED garbage plate... with the pink chunks and everything



THE
BET IT TASTED GOOD, THO
AARDVARK

...

In other news, I asked my brother to overnight me a "Pizza Shack" pie for my birthday next month. OMG!!!!

So I'm making this dish tonight, and laying my spoon on my new alien spoon rest that Robb bought me in Roswell, and I'm deglazing the wine, but apparently, not sure yet, but what else is blue in the vicinity? the color from the thing bled onto the hot spoon, because I look at my almost dry mixture and everything is bright blue. I might as well have stuck food coloring in there. The chicken and bacon are fine, but had to redo the whole middle part. Still can't figure the blue out, because the spoon was not IN the mixture, but seriously, my pan was blue.

Follow up. It wasn't the spoon dish.

Help me figure this out.

I made this dish 4 times tonight. I'm annoyed...and drunk. Here's what I used, and what was eliminated.

Broth. Not used the first time it turned blue.

Shallots. Not used the third time it turned blue. Onions instead.

White wine. Used a different kind the second time it turned blue.

Garlic. Used every time, but, seriously, I have used cloves from the SAME BUNCH the last 2 times I've cooked.

So I was left with the pan, the blender, and the tap water. So, the 4th time I made it, I didn't use either the pan nor the blender. It turned out great. So, I was all ready to blame the pan, BUT. I am now boiling water in that pan with garlic and tap water and shallots and wine. It is not blue. But how could the blender do it? I have used it this week. I blend things with cold water, I also rinse very well the blender and pan between uses. I have not cooked with food coloring recently. The dish got bluer as it got hotter. It's blue. I am seriously freaked out. Here's a pic. Anyone?

I think the image of jesus on the bottom of the pan has something to do with it. Quick, sell it on ebay as a magical blue pan. (this is in response to the duck x-ray that sold for close to ten grand)

Seriously it sounds like some weird chemical reaction. Maybe you've discovered cold fusion or something..

THE
MISTER WIZARD
I AINT
AARDVARK

There is some weird shit here. I locked this thread at some point. Why would I have done that? Fucking weeeeird.

Anyway, I am making this tonight. There may be some substitutions, as if I were to get the requisite amount of white wine, I'd immediately go driving, and nobody wants that. I'll update the thread with a photo of my MEAL ... The Pink Flamingo! when it's all ready, and before I have stuffed the entire thing down my maw.

Subs I will make are as follows:

- ADDS
Onions
Vinegar
Spaghetti sauce

- DROPS
Shallots
White wine (see above)
Tomato paste

These will be retroactive to week 2 of the NFL season.

I'd like this one better.


Pink Flamingo recipe

serve in
(Fort) Collins Glass

Scale ingredients to servings
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Cointreau® orange liqueur
3/4 glass orange juice
1 dash sloe gin

I do appreciate that glass. JQW still believes I live in Fort Collins when, actually, I haven't been anywhere near there in over five years.

I did not make the Pink Flamingo. I had the worst commute of the year last night. You know how Keith Olbermann says stuff directly to the camera like, "YOU CANNOT DO THIS"? He said it to Hillary Clinton when she was lying about how long the primary was taking by bringing up the assassination of RFK. He said, "YOU CANNOT DO THIS!" By the way, just so nobody forgot, Clinton's campaign was absolutely the most disgusting and drawn-out display of horseshit this country's ever seen, and I totally get why Republicans hate her so much. The Neocons haven't drug out anything on Obama. She really is a terrible person. I thought I'd reverse my opinion when McCain's camp was worse, but no. She is a horrible fucking human being.

That being said, when I was on my way home, witnessing all the shitty fucking driving, worthless construction, and other issues, I did at one point say to the other drivers, "YOU CANNOT DO THIS!" But my words had as much of an effect as Keith's did. i.e., none!

I got home and I was in no mood to cook for myself. Let's be honest, Vark - pretend my arm is around your shoulder, and there is whisky on my breath - whatever I cook for the first time will not be edible. So instead, I decided to immediately go to sleep.

I woke up three hours later because some combination of cats were trying to butcher, loudly, the remaining combination. It was midnight. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

I poured water into a 32 ounce "Subway" plastic cup that I keep around do normally water plants. I took a sip... I felt light headed... the world itself started to break down...

...I fucking fainted! Holy shit! I was on the floor covered in 32 ounces of water. Haha, what the? There was water everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

Two of the cats were like, "Haha! What an asshole!" Boggit was like, "They can do/i] this? Humans do this?? We can just dump water now?" The expression on his face was one where everything he thought he knew was now proven false.

I don't know why I fainted. Ben has some ideas. But I got the bath towels out to clean up, then remembered it was water, then went back to bed for another 9 hours.

If I die, one of you grab the latest build of CZK out of c:\games\text\cz and give it to Kent Tessman. He'll figure out how to get it running from the beginning. You can't finish the game or anything, but there are a couple good jokes in there I GUESS.

Oh yeah, I'd maybe give the [Recipe] Pink Flamingo a shot tonight, but I am going straight to bed tonight, too. But I don't want the cream I purchased to go bad, so, Friday I guess?