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Perlman Family + Holiday Season = :(
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 12:58 pm
by pinback
Well, let's take a tally on how the holiday season's been treating the Perlmans (my paternal grandparents) lately!
Jan. 3, 2003: David Parrish, their first-born son, dies of prostate cancer!
December 22, 2004: Larry Perlman, their OTHER son, dies of heroin overdose!
What can be learned from these terribly unfortunate occurrences?
GOD HATES JEWS.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 2:05 pm
by Roody_Yogurt
Sorry to hear that, man.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 2:44 pm
by pinback
Well, if Larry had ended up living longer than DP, I was gonna be REAL pissed off. So, way to go, Larr. Good timing.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:26 pm
by pinback
These people are 84+ years old, and have lost both their children in various disgusting ways over the last 23.5 months. Here I'll collect a compendium of kind thoughts which you'll all express to them to let them know that more people than they know are out there thinking about them, or at least pretending to think of them and making up some nice-sounding crap.
Begin now, or email me at
ben@sonowthen.net.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:28 pm
by pinback
Also, include real name and city/state/country, if able.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:35 pm
by Roody_Yogurt
Also, Ben, I think you should overdose... on life!!!
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:38 pm
by pinback
I should add, I'm not just looking for "sorry for your loss. - Jack Straw". I'm looking for creative, eloquent expressions of compassion and grief which one would expect from such a fantastically wordsmithy group of battle rapers such as yourselves.
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:41 pm
by pinback
Okay, this is NOT what I'm looking for:
Roses are red, violets are blue.. your first son is dead... this makes number two!
- Adam LeSchack, Los Angeles, CA
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:49 pm
by God
Well no offense, but I really can't stand Jews.
-- G-d
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 8:20 am
by chris
Why do both of their sons have different last names?
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 12:53 pm
by pinback
David Perlman changed his name to David Parrish right before Ben Parrish was born, so people wouldn't know Ben Parrish was a filthy Jew.
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 5:53 pm
by Worm
pinback wrote:David Perlman changed his name to David Parrish right before Ben Parrish was born, so people wouldn't know Ben Parrish was a filthy Jew.
Shh, G-d might hear you.
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:27 pm
by Vitriola
Today's round-table discussions have completely mystified me. First, there was a movie review that sounded like the first 2 paragraphs accidentally got deleted, a new gimmick poster calling out another anonymous poster like this was a thesis debate for a full scholarship to Miss U, and now a call for condolences for people none of us know, by someone who most of us don't know. Are you all high?
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:46 pm
by Debaser
Vitriola wrote:Are you all high?
High on CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
*!!!!!!!!!
*Heroin
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 9:10 pm
by Mr Banzai
'Tis the season to be jolly
fa la la la la, la la la la
Death on OD, so very solly
fa la la la la, la la la la la
-- Mr Banzai, Tokyo
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:24 pm
by slightly_funnier
pinback wrote:Okay, this is NOT what I'm looking for:
Roses are red, violets are blue.. your first son is dead... this makes number two!
- Adam LeSchack, Los Angeles, CA
Roses are red, violets are blue/your two sons are dead/and you'll soon be too!
Mr Banzai wrote:'Tis the season to be jolly
fa la la la la, la la la la
Death on OD, so very solly
fa la la la la, la la la la la
-- Mr Banzai, Tokyo
'Tis the season to be jolly
fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra
Dead from OD, me so solly
fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra
Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:26 pm
by pinback
This is my last post here.
I am outta here. Forever.
Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:36 pm
by Knuckles the CLown
I need hangers, if you are diving up their stuff.
Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2004 3:50 pm
by pinback
Well, I'd like to thank everyone who helped out with this.
I'd like to, but unfortunately and predictably, only one of you emotional midget sourpusses had the decency to help me out with this.
Every time I think you all suck as hard as you can possibly suck, you go ahead, take a deep breath, blow it out, and outdo yourselves.