Dave Sim Can Suck My Hairy Balls
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:43 pm
You know, I'm sure that if that fuckbag were reading this, he'd tell me I hate him because I'm a feminist. And that I want him to kill himself because I'm a feminist.
I'm here to tell you that that's not true. I hate him, and want him to kill himself, because of volumes 14, 15, and 16 of Cerebus. I don't know which issues those were. About 200-300, I think. I read Cerebus in the collected volumes, not in individual issues as they were released.
That fucktard SODOMIZED MY EYEBALLS by making me sit through THREE HUNDRED FUCKING PAGES OF SHIT STARTING WITH THE THREE STOOGES (and let me tell you something: the Three Stooges are pretty goddamn funny as slapstick comedy. As a FUCKING COMIC BOOK? STILL IMAGES ON THE PAGE? NOT GODDAMN FUNNY AT ALL) with BLACK LETTER TYPE BECAUSE IT'S A HOLY BOOK. And THEN WOODY FUCKING ALLEN WHO'S NEVER BEEN WORTH A SHIT. And THEN he leads off VOLUME 16 with 30-odd pages of BLACK LETTER BATSHIT THEOLOGY (with bad biology, worse chemistry, and FUCKING ATROCIOUS PHYSICS and ASTROPHYSICS) which boils down to, and I'm not making this up because I COULDN'T FUCKING MAKE SHIT LIKE THIS UP:
You know, once, a long time ago, I really <i>did</i> care whether Cerebus would die "alone, unmourned, and unloved." But by Volume 16 I was just WISHING HE'D HURRY THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.
I should have stopped after Church and State II, and then picked up Melmoth. That I should have done. But no, and after a bunch of volumes, I HAD to get THE REST even though I knew it would suck.
So, Dave Sim: I don't hate you because you're a misogynist. You're welcome to your low opinion of women. I hate you BECAUSE YOU FUCKING INFLICTED THE LAST 100 ISSUES OF CEREBUS ON ME AND IT FUCKING SUCKED. The last even REMOTELY READABLE part was the Hemingway story.
Do I want you to kill yourself as quickly yet painfully as possible? Yes. Does it have anything at all to do with your views on feminism or indeed, all things with twats? No.
In summary: SUCK MY HAIRY BALLS out of five stars.
Bruce
I'm here to tell you that that's not true. I hate him, and want him to kill himself, because of volumes 14, 15, and 16 of Cerebus. I don't know which issues those were. About 200-300, I think. I read Cerebus in the collected volumes, not in individual issues as they were released.
That fucktard SODOMIZED MY EYEBALLS by making me sit through THREE HUNDRED FUCKING PAGES OF SHIT STARTING WITH THE THREE STOOGES (and let me tell you something: the Three Stooges are pretty goddamn funny as slapstick comedy. As a FUCKING COMIC BOOK? STILL IMAGES ON THE PAGE? NOT GODDAMN FUNNY AT ALL) with BLACK LETTER TYPE BECAUSE IT'S A HOLY BOOK. And THEN WOODY FUCKING ALLEN WHO'S NEVER BEEN WORTH A SHIT. And THEN he leads off VOLUME 16 with 30-odd pages of BLACK LETTER BATSHIT THEOLOGY (with bad biology, worse chemistry, and FUCKING ATROCIOUS PHYSICS and ASTROPHYSICS) which boils down to, and I'm not making this up because I COULDN'T FUCKING MAKE SHIT LIKE THIS UP:
And then the rest of the book is about senility and farting, basically. It's not worth reading either but AT LEAST IT DID NOT MAKE MY EYES BLEED.Dave Sim's BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE THEOLOGY wrote:Helium is female and therefore evil. Neutrinos are pure souls.
You know, once, a long time ago, I really <i>did</i> care whether Cerebus would die "alone, unmourned, and unloved." But by Volume 16 I was just WISHING HE'D HURRY THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.
I should have stopped after Church and State II, and then picked up Melmoth. That I should have done. But no, and after a bunch of volumes, I HAD to get THE REST even though I knew it would suck.
So, Dave Sim: I don't hate you because you're a misogynist. You're welcome to your low opinion of women. I hate you BECAUSE YOU FUCKING INFLICTED THE LAST 100 ISSUES OF CEREBUS ON ME AND IT FUCKING SUCKED. The last even REMOTELY READABLE part was the Hemingway story.
Do I want you to kill yourself as quickly yet painfully as possible? Yes. Does it have anything at all to do with your views on feminism or indeed, all things with twats? No.
In summary: SUCK MY HAIRY BALLS out of five stars.
Bruce
