Jolt Country

The weekend starts after I finish my Assembly homework, which is due at 10:00pm on Friday.

After that, what's the plan:

A) GET AS DRUNK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I've spent more time commuting in this week than I would spend in 37.5 goddamn days going back and forth to my old job. This calls for me to get a bottle of Vanilla Stoli, a gallon of Grape (C) Kool-Aid, and a desire to see empty containers.

B) SEE "SIN CITY." My understanding is that known latina Jessica Alba was somehow allowed to play a stripper in a movie where she doesn't take her clothes off because another hispanic directed it. I think I liked it better when white people had casting couches. =(

C) STUDY HARD FOR THE UPCOMING WEEK AND PRACTICE DRIVING INTO WORK AND ... blhablahaba

D) A *and* B.

Did you answer "D"? Well, I'd also like to move. Somehow I am the only person I know who signs leases with no provision to leave. Hell, Ben didn't even last a month into his year-long lease and he was out of there faster than his grandparents could choke up a katamari of phlem. Not me though, I'm seemingly stuck here until July 31st. So anyway, "E" would be "Look for a new apartment, one that can fit in a BUBBLE BOBBLE MACHINE."

Why don't you ask me about Bub and Bob!

I will be at the Jays/Sox game on Saturday. Halladay vs. Wells, baby! I fully plan on getting wasted and taking advantage of the fact that they sell hard liquor at the Rogers SuperHyperGlobalMegaNet Centre.

All leases have provisions to leave. They may just not be in writing. As I've said before, I've broken several "no-you-leave" leases, with no lasting effects.

Step 1: Sign the lease at the new place.
Step 2: Pack your shit at the old place.
Step 3: Leave under cover of darkness, placing the keys and an extra month's rent in an envelope along with a letter of explanation, and slip it through the leasing office's drop slot.

Finis.

pinback wrote:All leases have provisions to leave. They may just not be in writing. As I've said before, I've broken several "no-you-leave" leases, with no lasting effects.

Step 1: Sign the lease at the new place.
Step 2: Pack your shit at the old place.
Step 3: Leave under cover of darkness, placing the keys and an extra month's rent in an envelope along with a letter of explanation, and slip it through the leasing office's drop slot.

Finis.

Now you are making sense! Now you are doing something productive!

Oh, and as it should go without saying, do not leave your forwarding address in your "letter of explanation". The purpose of the letter is to let them know that yes, you're aware that you're violating the terms of the lease, but by giving them the extra month, you're both showing them that you really want to make good, and also that you know that it would cost them far more to try to chase you down than to just take the check and re-let the place to a new guy at a higher rent.

Trust me. They WANT you to leave. Every day you're there, you're costing them money.

Bugs wrote:I will be at the Jays/Sox game on Saturday. Halladay vs. Wells, baby! I fully plan on getting wasted and taking advantage of the fact that they sell hard liquor at the Rogers SuperHyperGlobalMegaNet Centre.

Hey, I bet this game would have been on TV!

Here's what actually ended up happening:

E) GET EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND TRY TO SEE SIN CITY

I get like 17 minutes to hang out with my girlfriend during the week, but that increases significantly if we see each other on the road for our commutes, because all of my time is spent driving. So of course with two days off I become a lump of bed-ridden human trash.

pinback wrote:Trust me. They WANT you to leave. Every day you're there, you're costing them money.

Me personally?

Goddamit. Well I was going to put option E) you developed a dough induced case of constipation, but somehow you managed to get diarhea when all you eat is cooked bread. Your insides must be at 4,000 degrees Kelvin to turn bread into brown goo. WTF?

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Goddamit. Well I was going to put option E) you developed a dough induced case of constipation, but somehow you managed to get diarhea when all you eat is cooked bread. Your insides must be at 4,000 degrees Kelvin to turn bread into brown goo. WTF?

I had some kind of Indian chicken on Wednesday! That RATCHETED UP the temperature!