Jolt Country

Ben, why did Mango Bay fail?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Ben, why did Mango Bay fail?

For me to write, two factors must be present, or it's just not going to happen.

Factor 1 is: I must have something I want to say. At that time (and essentially, for most of the past year) I have had nothing I've wanted to say. My fire for self-expression burned out sometime around 2000, 2001, and since then my writings have all essentially been diary-like retelling (and occasionally embellishing) of daily events. But even that, I can't do unless any interesting daily events actually happen to me. It's too difficult for me, for instance, to come up with new ways of saying "got up, dicked around, ate, had a few beers, watched Iron Chef, went to bed". And that's what I was doing when I started Mango Bay. Now, once I headed off to Arizona, and then with my latest move to Virginia, there have been events which might have warranted retelling, but then Factor 2 comes into play, which is:

Factor 2 is: I must not be horribly depressed. When I am horribly depressed, engaging in any sort of activity, particularly a creative endeavor such as writing, is nearly impossible. The secondary thought, sure, is "ehh, why would anyone want to read about my lousy, stupid self", but far more relevant is the thought that even putting finger to keyboard is opening up a whole new realm in which to suck. As I've said before, any activity is another chance to suck, another chance to fail, and we (me and my inner demons) cannot have that. So rather than do anything, we do nothing at all. And for most of the past several months, I have been horribly depressed. (This is not a "whiny" post, mind you, but an explanatory one. The whining can be done in a separate thread, so as to give the impression that this BBS has more activity on it than it actually does.)

So, why did Mango Bay fail (and why has SNT remained dormant for the vast majority of the past half-year)? Because at any time, one (and usually both) of those factors have been present.

Thank you for joining us.

pinback wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Ben, why did Mango Bay fail?

Boo Hoo

Whiny Bitch!

Also because I knew the only people that would read my stuff would be a bunch of brain-dead subhuman asswarts like Knuckles here.

Well, that was Knuckles the Sandwich, not Knuckles the CLown.

I was careful not to qualify to which Knuckles I was referring.

Now, what other questions can I address for you and your lovely studio audience?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Well, that was Knuckles the Sandwich, not Knuckles the CLown.

There ICJ goes again, sticking up for his Clown. Ain't that sweet.

pinback wrote:Now, what other questions can I address for you and your lovely studio audience?

As a child, when did you first become interested in being depressed, and could you please recount some of your early success stories?

Casual Observer wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Well, that was Knuckles the Sandwich, not Knuckles the CLown.

There ICJ goes again, sticking up for his Clown. Ain't that sweet.

I would once again like to reiterate that *I* am not Knuckles the CLown. I know you didn't say that I was, but I'd like to state that again for the record.

And lookit you stick up for the Sandwich! Boy he's balls-deep into you lately. Why don't you MARRY him, CO?

k. roo wrote:As a child, when did you first become interested in being depressed

When you were born.

and could you please recount some of your early success stories?

When I killed you.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:And lookit you stick up for the Sandwich! Boy he's balls-deep into you lately. Why don't you MARRY him, CO?

For all you know, I could BE him.

pinback wrote:Factor 2 is: I must not be horribly depressed. When I am horribly depressed, engaging in any sort of activity, particularly a creative endeavor such as writing, is nearly impossible. The secondary thought, sure, is "ehh, why would anyone want to read about my lousy, stupid self", but far more relevant is the thought that even putting finger to keyboard is opening up a whole new realm in which to suck.

But doesn't money buy happiness? How can you be so sad? You're rich!

No, money doesn't buy happiness.

On the other hand: No money? Bye, happiness!

<Slow clap>

pinback wrote:No, money doesn't buy happiness.

On the other hand: No money? Bye, happiness!

Here's what bought happiness for me.

1) The elimination of a job that I hated. It was truly the only thing I talked about for a while there. I regret that while Ben stayed about ten minutes in the state of Colorado, nine of those minutes were me whining about how bad I had it.

2) The obtaini...nation(??) of a job that I like that paid a lot more. Suddenly things weren't so bad!

And that was it for me. I went from depressed to happy-go-lucky again. Any of you who were thinking of coming to Colorado to visit and/or live: DO SO. Look, there's no saving an Eeyore like Parrish, he's made his bed and now he has to lie in it. How a good looking, charismatic and engaging individual like himself feels moments from suicide is anyone's guess. But take it from me -- if things are bad they CAN get better, you just have to not be a huge pussy who has martryed-up himself in his current situation. (And I should note that Ben DID leave for greener pastures, so since he took my advice and still feels like painting the walls with his brain stem he's beyond what I can do for him. But I agree in slow-clapping him for at least trying.)

The rest of you morose motherfuckers? Your countdown has begun!

So, really, you just started this thread as a manipulative scheme to construct a platform for your own self-absorptive pontifications.

<slow clap>

pinback wrote:So, really, you just started this thread as a manipulative scheme to construct a platform for your own self-absorptive pontifications.

This thread? I think you mean this BBS.

Good day!