Possible BBS Software Change?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

As you all know, I hate phpBB BBS software very much.

As I know, you all hate Pointy BBS software very much.

A compromise? Please check out the software on www.creepingmaw.com and tell me what you think. Pinback wrote it, and I am wondering if I should switch to it (with the understanding that it'd be nice to have our phpBB posts converted over. But I don't want to ask him to do that if you all hate his work there).

[Guest]

A compromise? Please check out the software on www.creepingmaw.com and tell me what you think. Pinback wrote it, and I am wondering if I should switch to it (with the understanding that it'd be nice to have our phpBB posts converted over. But I don't want to ask him to do that if you all hate his work there).

You're on crack, right?

I mean, it's a pretty decent system for something a drunkard pulled out of his ass over the period of a couple days, and I say that as a drunkard who's done some extended coding-and-swilling sessions. It's certainly better than I could do in a couple days.

But still, I suspect there are better alternatives.

Hey, I know: you could run this, not as a web forum, but as a private newsgroup hierarchy.

joltcountry.general
joltcountry.movies
joltcountry.food
joltcountry.pr0n
joltcountry.troll

And so on.

Bruce

[pinback]

But still, I suspect there are better alternatives.

This is unacceptable.

One of the great features of BBBB is that, if anybody wants a feature that it doesn't have, it has an author with nothing to do for 8+ hours a day than respond to and implement such requested features.

There are ALWAYS better alternatives, no matter what you choose, so that's a nonsensical argument. If you're unsatisfied with BBBB, then the questions to ask are:

1. What does phpBB have that you'd miss?

2. What other features does it need for it to be acceptable?

It's a fucking BBS, so the likelihood that any reasonable feature you mention can't be fairly easily integrated are extreedinigly low.

In summation, yes, I agree that there are probably better alternatives to a BBS written in two days by, yes, a drunkard. However, it is in its infancy. You don't have a baby, ask it some math questions, and then chuck it into the dumpster when it can't answer them, do you? "Dumb goddamn baby can't even do simple differential equations. [chuck!]"

[Casual Observer]

You're on crack, right?

Of course he's joking. The pure sarcasm is literally dripping from Jonsey's post. In fact, it is just over a month late to be a perfect april fools post. Nobody. . . nobody would come here if it were using that POS.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

What does phpBB have that you'd miss?

Don't get me wrong, it's not a full-fledged JC conversation unless there were baseless accusations and unhelpful caricatures, but in all seriousness, I can't think of what I would want that Ben didn't put in already or isn't working on already.

Gay shit like drop-down boxes for "Font colour" (jesus, they call it COLOUR for chrissake) and the smiley library to the left of the new post box doesn't count because that's gay shit and I hate it.

[Casual Observer]

Actually, it already looks way better than it did last week so I owe ben an apology for the baseless attack.

[Casual Observer]

Of course you're missing vital things like "other users currently on" and the all important "most ever users online was" update. Not bad for a depressed drunk living among fake palm trees though.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Yes, I will miss the indicator that notes the last time either Google tried to index the site or a thousand Russian brides all went trolling on here for dork.

[pinback]

And POLLS! Don't forget POLLS!!!!!!

[Bugs]

Can you still get WWIV software?

If so, I think you should go with that.

Why not go back to the dial-up format?

[pinback]

Can you still get WWIV software?

If so, I think you should go with that.

This, I agree with. Please do this.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Can you still get WWIV software?

If so, I think you should go with that.

WWIV was always the enemy of Maximus. I remember being shocked that each post didn't have a "To:" field associated with it.

Now, that's the way all these boards work. You gotta quote.

WWIV was still kiddie shit for retards and social lepers, though, don't get me wrong.

Why not go back to the dial-up format?

Well, I don't actually have a dial-up phone line, for starters. I, like Marid Audran, and unlike millions of actual adults, only own a cell. A shitty cell. There's more bars in three screens of Pitfall! than there are at any given time with my cell.

My next one will be a cel phone, complete with unflattering, poorly-colored animations of everyone who calls me.

[bruce]

OK, you need a reverse BBS door.

Like, instead of a dial-up to a FIDONet BBS or whatever, you could run your BBS on something that did a virtual serial-port-to-Internet mapping.

In fact, it would be the BEST THING EVAR if you did it with a virtual Apple ][ and ASCII Express. I wonder if any of the Apple ][ emulators will work with a fake serial port that's really an IP socket. That'd be wicked cool.

Other than that, um, I guess I don't really mind anything about BBBB. Is it somehow magically more resistant to Russian Brides and random PHP attacks than PHPBB2?

That said: NNTP or ASCII Express will always own the keys to my heart.

Bruce

[bruce]

Also--and maybe BBBB has this and I just haven't figured it out yet--I really like the way phpBB, when you're logged in, tracks the pointer for the last message you've seen in each thread, and then lets you know where new messages are and sends you directly to them.

Because I'm usually too drunk to know what time, or even what day, it is when I'm logging in.

Bruce

[chris]

OK, you need a reverse BBS door.

Like, instead of a dial-up to a FIDONet BBS or whatever, you could run your BBS on something that did a virtual serial-port-to-Internet mapping.

I was just thinking along those lines myself....a "real" BBS setup that uses the Internet for connections instead of a phone line. I know of some old school 8-bit BBSes out there that connect like that (via Telnet), although I'll readily admit to not having ever tried 'em out.

The idea of RobB getting the *original* JC back online like that would be teh HOT ROXX.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

HEY, maybe Pinback could also integrate all the ORIGINAL JC posts while he was at it!

[Bugs]

The idea of RobB getting the *original* JC back online like that would be teh HOT ROXX.

I wholeheartedly concur.

Then we should dig up Carrie and Spidey to further this turn-back-the-clock project. Then I can simulataneously alienate and woo Rachel while also mocking Matt for attending McQuaid, loving fat-ankled school nurses, etc...

This needs to happen. Now.

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

(just doing my once-every-few-months JC scan)

OK, you need a reverse BBS door.

Like, instead of a dial-up to a FIDONet BBS or whatever, you could run your BBS on something that did a virtual serial-port-to-Internet mapping.

A brief history lesson:

A couple years after the dial-up JC went down, I put up "Mistic International" (named for my favorite drink at the time - c'mon, back off, it was the '90s) - this was before I'd bought a domain name or anything. This was a internet-only telnettable BBS running Maximus software, with the same look and feel as Jolt Country.

I kept that going for about a year or so, then went to the web-based Phorum, then I was one of the very first people to run the alpha release of phpBB. phpBB, of course, is top-notch, and RobB's hatred of it is completely baseless. Remember, this is the guy who thinks "pointy" is anything but utter crap.

The moral of the story:

BEEN THERE DONE THAT; SOUNDS FUN BUT AIN'T WORTH GOING BACK TO

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Okay, there was a new release of phpBB. A security exploit, of course! What the fuck... their stuff is open source and it's reviewed, presumably, by thousands of nerds who love this terrible software. How the fuck do their constant, never-ending exploits leak through?

Some other nice issues:

Can't backup the database through phpBB. I get IE's default "can't find the page" message.

Can't search for "backup database" on phpbb.com to find out why it's crapping out on me. I CAN search for other terms, which is so unbelievable to be custom tailored to me further hating them that I can't believe it.

I will switch to Ben's system if I can generate a backup and he can merge our old posts with the new ones. Apologies in advance if all of you hate it but let's be honest, all of you weren't posting much here anyway so nobody will notice if switching over to Ben's stuff results in silent self-bans of quiet protest.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Haha, the stupid dumbfucks on phpBB have stop words on their terrible site and redirect TO A FUCKING BLANK PAGE to let you know this.

http://www.phpbb.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=284815

... Just unbelievable. Okay, I'm done with phpBB.