Jolt Country

1. Take two tablesp--

Nah, give up. You will never ever be able to do it as well as I do.

pinback wrote:1. Take two tablesp--

Nah, give up. You will never ever be able to do it as well as I do.

If by that, you mean that we'll never be able to burn the crust and decorate our pizzas with dehydrated rats as well as you do, then you'd be correct sir!

Good one, chris! Ouch!

No, seriously guys. I want you to see what he did here, because -- hey, I know I've been giving him a hard time lately, but -- this is seriously excellent work, and I hope you can all appreciate it as much as I do. Me, the guy who hates him, and even I'm just... I'm in awe, really. Kudos and cheers, chris.

Now, check this out:

chris wrote:If by that, you mean that we'll never be able to burn the crust

Here I was, sitting smugly (as usual!), enjoying the afterglow of a lovely meal, admiring my own (what I THOUGHT was) perfection, when chris BRINGZ DA HURT!!!

chris wrote:and decorate our pizzas with dehydrated rats

Muhammed ALI never mustered a one-two punch like this! I thought I was just putting fresh basil on the pizza, but chris DROPZ DA HAMMER!!!



One can only sit in stunned admiration and wonderment.

Chris?

I bow to you, sir.

Lysander is blind LOL!!. LOL
Pinback is bald. LOL
Jonsey is FAT. LOL

and the new one. . .
Chris is a dick! LOL

Get the Door, it's pinback.

Does this mean you can no longer get pizzas delivered to your blue lagoon? I heard you got blacklisted by all the pizza joints nearby..

"Hello, thank you for calling Tony Pepperoni's. May I have your phone number, please..."

NO WAIT!-- DO OVER-- I FORGOT SOMETHING!!

"Hello, thank you for calling Tony Pepperoni's. Can you please hold..."

(five minutes later)

"Thank you for holding. May I have your phone number please?"

"uh, 555-3469."

"I'm sorry Mr. Pinback, you are out of our delivery area. Thank you for calling..

"But I live a block away!"

"Our records show that we are not allowed to send our drivers to your address. Do you really have a palm tree infested apartment."

"Never mind...."


THE
30 MINUTES
OR FREE
AARDVARK

What the fuck is that? That is NOT pizza.

What makes a real pizza (New York style)...

1. It must be made by a genuine Italian named Vito or Tony born in Italy and raised in Bensonhurst or some other undesireable part of Brooklyn
2. The pizza has to be thin, somewhat crispy, slightly greasy
3. It's a minimum of 16" in diameter
4. If you order a "large pie with pepperoni" and the person on the phone doesn't understand what you're talking about - then it's not a real NY pizza.
5. The dough is tossed in the air - not smooshed through a dough roller.
6. The pizzeria does not sell chicken wings
7. You always order a dozen garlic knots to go with the pie.

Heh! You make a lot of sense there, nessman. In truth, I was not going for "NY style pizza", but instead a more Italian style. However, I agree with everything you said, NY-style-wise.

nessman wrote:What the fuck is that? That is NOT pizza.

What makes a real pizza (New York style)...
(snip)

Know of anybody in Rochester that makes *real* NY pizza? Pontillo's is decent enough, but I've been making my own lately since I bought a pizza stone and peel. I've been trying to make crispy thin crust pizza, but I don't think it's possible to get a stone in a regular oven hot enough to do it. I've heard that a "real" NY pizza only spends like 4 minutes in the oven.

http://www.camsnypizza.com/index.html


Actually.....They suck.


But what a good name.



THE
CHIGAGO
STYLE
AARDVARK

Chris...

Two places that I know of...

"New York Pizzeria" down in Warsaw on Rt 19 and (run by honest to goodness real Italians from NYC)... their pizza is the real deal. I asked what brought them to Warsaw... they said they wanted to get out of NYC after the first WTC bombing in 1993 (one of their deliverymen was at the WTC when it happened) - looked to move upstate and found a restaurant that was for sale. I'm down in Warsaw once every 2-3 months for work and I make a point to be down there around lunchtime. I sometimes go a out of my way to/from Hornell when I do the kid exchange and stop by there to grab a slice.

"Main Street Pizza" in Brockport (also on Rt 19)... originally opened back around 1990 by a couple brothers from Queens under the name Big Apple Pizza (or simply "BAP" for us Brockport bar-hopping drunks). The place has changed ownership a few times since but they didn't change the pizza. It's pretty good, about as close to the real thing as you'll get for this area. Tastes best reheated.

Cams is a reasonable facsimile of NY pizza... close but no cigar... good if you're jonesing for the stuff but don't feel like driving down to Warsaw.

As for making the pizza... think thin - but keep it consistent... work the dough with your hands in a circular motion above the counter (hard to explain). You don't have to toss it in the air (unless you have 12' ceilings and an easy-to-clean kitchen). A pizza stone will work... just gotta preheat it in the oven at 400 degrees for a good while (at least 30-45 min). The thicker the stone, the better obviously - cooks more evenly (and the longer it'll take to preheat).

The more toppings you put on it, the longer it'll take to cook. You want to melt the cheese thoroughly - not cook it... so it's important to get that stone at the same temperature as the oven so it's in there long enough to bake the dough without burning it. Should take about 10-15 minutes to cook at 400 degrees. You need to check on it every few minutes... give it a turn to ensure it cooks evenly.

I used to be a pizza maker back in college... did a good job making it NY style.

Better yet - just do it right and get one of these babies...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vi ... 12581&rd=1

AArdvark wrote:http://www.camsnypizza.com/index.html

There's one right down the street from us. The pizza tastes like Chef Boyardee, but the stromboli's are acceptable (although vastly inferior to Stromboli Express).

I think my biggest problem is that I buy the balls of pizza dough from Wegmans. Even though I try to let it come up to room temperature before using it, it's still kinda hard to work. I thin it out, and it "bounces back". Maybe I need to find a recipe for dough that's easier to work or something.

Other than that, I'm doing pretty much what you describe. The pizza is certainly decent enough, but you can tell it was made at home.

Ben, please post a pizza recipe tomorrow. I have to have some tomorrow and it might as well be homemade.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Ben, please post a pizza recipe tomorrow. I have to have some tomorrow and it might as well be homemade.

Did my post stink? What the hell is going on here?

Dough (enough for at least two pizzas):
1 cup warm water
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp salt
1 packet yeast
flour

Let the yeast bloom in some warm water with the sugar for ten minutes. Then mix enough flour in there until it starts to turn into a dough. Then turn out onto a kneading surface, with plenty of spare flour to add as you go, to keep it from getting sticky. Knead for ten minutes, form into a ball, and throw into a mixing bowl wiped with olive oil.

Allow to rise to doube size, about 45 minutes.

Punch dough down, knead again for a couple minutes, put back in the rising bowl. Another 45 minutes.

Punch down again, cut in half, and then using a roller or by hand (hand preferred, if you can do it), make it look like a pizza, on a nonstick baking pan.

Then onto the pizza, put whatever objects you want on the pizza.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 500 degrees.

Place the pizza into the oven.

Cook it until it is done.

Remove the pizza from the oven.

Remove the pizza from the pan.

Let it sit for 5-10 minutes or so, to relax.

Slice it into slices.

Place the slices into your mouth, between your teeth.

Chew the slice thouroughly.

Swallow.

12-16 hours later, excrete the slice through your anus.

chris wrote:I think my biggest problem is that I buy the balls of pizza dough from Wegmans.

I'm about to do an impression. Who am I?

Mystery Guest wrote:Your biggest problem, apart from your latent homosexuality, you mean?

So, guys: who was I? Huh? Huh?

Bruce

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