Jolt Country

I wouldn't eat at Jack In The Box if you threatened to shove a gardenhose through my urethra, but I gotta tell you, their TV ads lately are some of the best ever.

In case you haven't seen 'em (which you have), "Jack", the well-dressed man with the giant spherical head, goes out and interviews people eating a JitB sandwich and giving it outstanding reviews.

Thusfar, I've seen the following interviews:

1. Jack is talking to a man named "Ronald McDonald" ("Ronald McDonald loves the new...")

2. Jack is in a family's home, talking to all of them. The family's name is "Vopper". "At the home of the Voppers, they love...")

3. Jack is in the home of a woman named Wendy. "Here at Wendy's, the new [...] is a hit!"

And my personal favorite:

4. Jack is interviewing a man named "Jarred" who just walked off a subway train. "Jarred from the Subway loves the new [...]"

AWESOME!!!!!

Ads are running featuring "Mrs Fogle." That's a shill wife, right? Something arranged by Safeway officials, no? If not, did he meet her before or after he was fighting the X-Men as "The Blob"? I look to you, Ben, for all these answers that have to do with fast food characters.


Also: Hamburglar --> Prison bitch or butch? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

Q: How has Jonsey systematically alienated himself from every single member of the very bulletin board system he's trying to garner support for?

A: He does not stay on-topic.