Jolt Country

$542.10 in a duffel bag at the train station. I did the right thing in reporting to the police that I found an empty duffel bag.

Since you are all dull non-risk taking hermit-fusbudgets, I assume you are good with money.

Without the $542.10 I currently enough money to feed cloth and shelter myself save $4.24 per month. I don't want to buy anything. What is the best way to "save" this money and have it "grow" to $700 by the end of the year.. Banks are currently ofering .0000000000000000000002% on Savings accounts, fuck that. I won't set up a retirement account and I don't want to put it somewhere were if I need to have access to it I will have to wait 2 weeks, sign forty documents and take a 75% tax penalty.

I will list your predicably unfunny answers, the quicker to get to the real business.

1. Bet on black
2. Vote a democrat into office
3. End this horrific war
4. Lottery tickets
5. The Stock Market
6. I will give you $700 if you quit posting and making me feel bad about my pathetic life.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! You guys are the best!

I wish Milker was around he would know what to do.

By the end of the year? The only two things I can think of is getting a good tip on a stock, or maybe short term CDs. Then again, the wife handles our finances, so I could be talking out of my ass.

Knuckles the CLown wrote:What is the best way to "save" this money and have it "grow" to $700 by the end of the year..

Easy, buy a couple of 8-balls and flip them. Done.

Casual Observer wrote:

Knuckles the CLown wrote:What is the best way to "save" this money and have it "grow" to $700 by the end of the year..

Easy, buy a couple of 8-balls and flip them. Done.

for shizzle

chris wrote:By the end of the year? The only two things I can think of is getting a good tip on a stock, or maybe short term CDs. Then again, the wife handles our finances, so I could be talking out of my ass.

What is a CD? I mean I know you are not talking about a Compact Disc- financialy what is a CD? How is that different than evil corporation stock or a savings account? Please inform me.

The above paragraph should be read in a quiet speaking tone, not a jackass retorical question asking one.

Casual Observer wrote:

Knuckles the CLown wrote:What is the best way to "save" this money and have it "grow" to $700 by the end of the year..

Easy, buy a couple of 8-balls and flip them. Done.

I got "Ask Again Later" and "Signs Point To Yes".

CD = Certificate of Deposit. Usually only available in a six or twelve month (or longer) rollover. which means that you can't touch da money until the time is up.

I agree with CO. Buy a couple ounces of [the green stuff from Mexico] and go into business for yourself. Earn what you can and then quit. Probably make two grand in a weekend on some college campuses. I know a guy who dealt his way thru college and graduated with a nice new car. Soon as he was done he quit and got a real job.



THE
GREEN FOR THE MONEY
AARDVARK

Shouldn't the name of this thread be Happenly, I uponned?

I am Knuckles the Clown.

k. roo wrote:I am Knuckles the Clown.

No you're not. You are a child molesting cretin who opens tuna fish cans with his molars.

It looks like you'd need to get around 21% interest on the thing. Investing just doesn't work like that without a huge amount of risk. At least I think. I mean that's a pretty huge fucking interest rate. I think your best bet is investing it in gas for a second job.