Jolt Country

OK, I don't know which one of you guys were responsible for the "Sundae Goblin" over at Ben's website, but I don't think I ever accurately stated what a work of genius that was. Due to the fact that I am such a fan of the Sundae Goblin's work, this is the "Sundae Goblin Appreciation Thread."

NEEDS MORE YUMIKO
NEEDS MORE GIBBON WITH TOE INFECTION
NEEDS MORE DIGITAL DEPRESSION
NEEDS MORE PORK

I dated the Sundae Goblin for one week. It was the best time of my life. The Sundae Goblin is a careful and considerate lover and has put to shame all the other "men" in my life.

However on the seventh day he told me in his adorable little patter that he had to return to the Rock Kingdom and that I would never see him again. I find myself staring towards the west, to the sunsets that just knowing him have allowed me to more fully enjoy, waiting... breathlessly... for his return.

I love him. It. The Sundae Goblin.

I don't want to sound too dense here, but...
Well, I'm not even going to ask it, you can guess what I want to know here.

I've got about one week to thing of something funny, right?

You've got about one week to fix the spelling in your .sig.

* perth

Lex wrote:I don't want to sound too dense here, but...
Well, I'm not even going to ask it, you can guess what I want to know here.

I'd provide a direct link, but Ben's bulletin board isn't loading.

Go here: http://www.voy.com/47897/ and then click on a post by the "Sundae Goblin."

In all seriousness, I am going to go actually out of my way and get a frigging "sundae" for lunch today because of him posting again. Not a great one or anything, probably just the typical McDonalds swill, but still. REAL goblins affecting REAL lives here, and all.

sundae golbin here!! me just finish eat n stroyberry sundae. YURM!!! wander jolt countryside in search of butt-or-scotch, find "accolades" (ha! thought find book on sundaes in cave, instead thorsaurus) insted.!1

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you ice cram jonsey (r YOU a saundae!!?) for keep da color scham dark, sundae goblin eyes say thanks

LIGHT BAD. SUNSHINE BAD. Sunshine turn us to STONE! can't very well eat sundae then. craaaave sundae!!

SUNDAE GOOD. better than eat n children. no eat childen. only eat sundae. easy r to eat sundae than wailin "bellowing" 8-year old. so why villagers so mad? me no kno nuffin cept sundae. LOVE sundae. LOVE exclamation points 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ate myself silly for sundae on Clash Day, remind self "only com once a-- MEWANIE!?!?!?!?!? is that U?

[/u]

Yes, I did end up having one of those McDonalds sundaes yesterday.

And the fact that there is a poster who will be turned to stone if he is ever struck by sunlight is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for when I started this. I mean, forget your usual E/N messages filled with angst -- THAT is some real drama right there, friends. Getting turned to motherhumping stone? That trumps all else.

Are you honestly telling me that a fawkin' goblin outdoes me getting a threesome from a cheerleader-chick & Yenna in her leather skirt & nothing else?

Ahh, on the angst level, right. Speaking of which, have you 'mailed Yenna about this place? Or is it strictly IF-communit-y?

Lex wrote:Are you honestly telling me that a fawkin' goblin outdoes me getting a threesome from a cheerleader-chick & Yenna in her leather skirt & nothing else?

Well, in terms of its effect on the board, yes. That is, until you manage to post pics of your soiree there.

Ahh, on the angst level, right. Speaking of which, have you 'mailed Yenna about this place? Or is it strictly IF-communit-y?

Well, I intended to reply to your Made In Scot-Land mailing list so that everyone on it saw the invite. I thought she was on that list, but I'm not sure.

If not, yes, feel free to give her (and anyone else in the world who you think would dig the site) the link.

YHGMTPOOHT. YHNC. HTH. HAND. FOAD.

alt.fan.warlord regular wrote:YHGMTPOOHT. YHNC. HTH. HAND. FOAD.

Hmm....
you... have... g? m? to put out on horizontal trail? you have no clue... hope that helps... have a nice day... fuck off and d -- HEY!!!

These people think they are so smart with their dopey acronyms. Here's a clue A.F.W-guy, nobody is impressed.

Just for those of you who are lucky enough to NOT know what all that crap means, thereby proving that you actually have a life, I'll help you out:

YHGMTPOOHT: You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of Orc's Head Tavern.

YHNC: You have no character.

The rest are obvious.

I seek knowledge.

Is this "Warlords" as in the Atari game, or some kind of board game....?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I seek knowledge.

PINBACK continues...

Hurry! Jump on the PINBACK Summer Project bus! Before it's too late.


-PSP

The Pinback Summer Project!! How interesting! We're all looking forward to just what his summer project could be.

No clues have been provided yet, but I can make a guess! Would you like to know what my guess is? Here goes!

o It'll involve a so-so idea that even if completely developed and fleshed out will only provide a reaction to the masses that is little above "meh"

o It'll be seriously, terribly overhyped for weeks on end by one guy and one guy only

o After an initial furor of work on the "Summer Project," Ben will immediately lose all interest in the thing and it will remain unfinished on some Earthlink or Sprintnet or Verizon chunk of web-space, and Ben will justify his inability to work on the project by saying, "Well, if it *really* took off I'd use up my bandwidth requirements quickly and no one could see it, so this is for the best"

o I'll somehow get blamed for the thing being a raging failure, regardless of how much I do or do not contribute

o He'll lash out at guys who at one point maybe liked him but can no longer stand him, like Debaser, Worm and Looper.

o Ben'll then start drinking lots of alcohol and we'll get his "OMG DRUNK" updates. Oh, and ones involving his cat again.

o Somehow, this will utterly fail to equate the words "Pinback" and "Failure" together, even though it should do so, and should have already done so about a half-dozen times before.

Am I right?

That kinda hurts, man. But I guess I can't really argue with you. I know I have a propensity to come up with ideas, get excited about them, and then abandon them after I run out of steam. It's been a problem my whole life, and I'm trying to work on it, but it's tough.

So, I guess, I'm sorry about all the other disappointments. All I can say is, stick with me, and some day, I'm gonna make this work.

I'm going to try, anyway.

Happy Pinback wrote:That kinda hurts, man.

Of course it does. That's why the phrase goes "The Truth Hurts."

But I guess I can't really argue with you.

This is the best statement you've made in a month.

I know I have a propensity to come up with ideas, get excited about them, and then abandon them after I run out of steam.

You haven't even come up with an idea yet at this point. It's just hype. This isn't fucking 1999, nor is it the dot-com boom era right before the bubble burst. I know that working -- badly -- at eToys sort of ingrained that whole thing into your "pin"-sized (hahaha, pinner) brain, but you're going to have to do better here.

It's been a problem my whole life, and I'm trying to work on it, but it's tough.

Well, don't quit your day job.

So, I guess, I'm sorry about all the other disappointments. All I can say is, stick with me, and some day, I'm gonna make this work.

Yeah, you bet. Good luck with that. The reason that you've got so much plentiful and delicious air out there in Cally right now is because I'm NOT holding my fucking breath.

I'm going to try, anyway.

This is still "Angry" Pinback, right? Wait, shi-

Goddammit. Are we still supposed to be nice to the lobotmized version of Pinner here? What's going on?

Running this BBS didn't come with a manual.


Well, it came with the phpBB manua -- ah, forget it.

All your points are right on the money, and I thought that "the reason you have all that air" comment was totally hilarious. I may not tell it to you enough here, or over email, but even all these years later, you are still (truly) the funniest guy I know on the internet. I don't know how you do it, but you do, and that's really all I care about.

Your friend in peace,

Ben