Workplace Hijinx
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:52 pm
As some of you may or may not know/care I currently am ungainfully employed at Eastman Kodak Company. I get a front row seat to the destruction of this once industry giant.
Without a doubt the demise of Kodak will benefit this community that has pinned their hopes and dreams on it. Sure people will have to sell pet bunnies for food and the whores will be in full force ala Flint, MI, but look how it turned out there- 4 young blackman (Mateen Cleaves, Morris Peterson etc..)who would otherwise be working at GM were unable to secure jobs out of high school forced to learn basketball and provided Michigan State with a National Championship in 1999. The fall of Kodak will do untold good for the University of Rochester’s Yellow Jackets sports teams.
Anyhow, I thought I'd share some funny happenings at this rotting corporation.
Friday July 22nd.
At my morning meeting.....yes I have a meeting everyday at 8:00. I move boxes from random place to random place and that requires a daily meeting. The meeting is held in what as known as a "Peace Room" it used to be known as the War Room, but that was changed by someone infinitely smarter than me. We also have street names in my building. You can find the peace room at the corner of Safety Way and Diversity Pathway. Why one is a way and one a pathway I'll never know, they both inevitably lead to the Kingdom of Failure. At my meeting, I listen to my Vietnamese boss speak incoherently, my bloated Strawberry Shortcake look-al-like Supervisor nod along approvingly even though she can't make heads nor tales of the gibberish coming out my bosses mouth.
Anyhow, I'm told we are receiving new ergonomic friendly knives. They are meant to replace the current knives Kodak has used without incident for 30 years. We are told we will have a class on proper knife use at 10 am. I make a joke to my colleagues that we will be having spoon and fork class at noon. Without batting an eye these brainwashed morons ask where.
The knife safety class goes without incident until the part of the syllabus where blade management is taught. Upon be taught how to change the blade one of our 27 years on the job vets manages to scream "motherfucker" at a very loud level, for he has just sliced a chunk of his own thumb that I would describe as medium to large. He is bleeding like Phil Hartman in the steroid Olympics sketch. Much like John Doe in S7VEN being unable to stop laughing when puking on a guy I cannot stop the chuckling.
Without a doubt the demise of Kodak will benefit this community that has pinned their hopes and dreams on it. Sure people will have to sell pet bunnies for food and the whores will be in full force ala Flint, MI, but look how it turned out there- 4 young blackman (Mateen Cleaves, Morris Peterson etc..)who would otherwise be working at GM were unable to secure jobs out of high school forced to learn basketball and provided Michigan State with a National Championship in 1999. The fall of Kodak will do untold good for the University of Rochester’s Yellow Jackets sports teams.
Anyhow, I thought I'd share some funny happenings at this rotting corporation.
Friday July 22nd.
At my morning meeting.....yes I have a meeting everyday at 8:00. I move boxes from random place to random place and that requires a daily meeting. The meeting is held in what as known as a "Peace Room" it used to be known as the War Room, but that was changed by someone infinitely smarter than me. We also have street names in my building. You can find the peace room at the corner of Safety Way and Diversity Pathway. Why one is a way and one a pathway I'll never know, they both inevitably lead to the Kingdom of Failure. At my meeting, I listen to my Vietnamese boss speak incoherently, my bloated Strawberry Shortcake look-al-like Supervisor nod along approvingly even though she can't make heads nor tales of the gibberish coming out my bosses mouth.
Anyhow, I'm told we are receiving new ergonomic friendly knives. They are meant to replace the current knives Kodak has used without incident for 30 years. We are told we will have a class on proper knife use at 10 am. I make a joke to my colleagues that we will be having spoon and fork class at noon. Without batting an eye these brainwashed morons ask where.
The knife safety class goes without incident until the part of the syllabus where blade management is taught. Upon be taught how to change the blade one of our 27 years on the job vets manages to scream "motherfucker" at a very loud level, for he has just sliced a chunk of his own thumb that I would describe as medium to large. He is bleeding like Phil Hartman in the steroid Olympics sketch. Much like John Doe in S7VEN being unable to stop laughing when puking on a guy I cannot stop the chuckling.
