Jolt Country

Regarding a student who had come from Ft. Collins to film the Reptile Rescue:

Vitriola wrote: I guess this has to come out... her best footage resulted from me trying to feed Ely a rat, and then getting distracted when the dogs started sniffing the rats I had put on the floor behind me. While shooing off the dogs, I...uh...forgot to lock Ely's enclosure, and about a half-hour later she got some real good footage of Tachi hysterically barking at something, me yelling at Tachi to shut the hell up, me investigating what she could be barking at, thinking it might be bull snake [a baby snake that had escaped weeks before--Ed.], and crouching down to look behind the tv where Tachi was watching and suddenly seeing scary loose large snake pattern crawling by in the shadows. She then films me shriek, jump back, nervously call for Ae, and Ae coming out to rescue the errant boa that was happily cruising around the room. Then me saying how that was the worst mistake a large snake owner can make, cursing my stupidity, and trying to act like I really was not as much of a screw-up as that incident indicated. Good times.

Trying to make me feel better by relating incident that happened that same weekend:

Ae wrote:When bathing new Burm [Burmese python, can reach 16' at maturity.--Ed.], make sure Burm is still in tub BEFORE sitting on toilet in treatment room. Ah hem, finished, got up, and Monte is atop all the towels eyeing me.

Jane, Board Member wrote:At least he didn't hand you the TP!

I've always wondered where the great video footage of people getting eaten alive by giant reptiles comes from. There's always a camera nearby. Well, this cinched it. You beat the odds in not having that python become your own personal sleeping bag. The ultimate in memory foam!

On the other hand, we would have all had a good laugh if the college student was the one who got eaten alive. Only because, hey, one visit, one trip to the Hydra you guys are keeping over there's digestive track. 1.000 PCT.!

If I ever come to visit you guys in Ft Collins, remind me to stay in a fucking HOTEL ROOM. It's like goddamn Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom over there.

Fort Collins is swimming in pigs, not reptiles. And we don't live there. Haven't in years. And I haven't even posted the most recent picture of who's staying here. You'd like him, he is small and very fierce.

Reminder to self - post picture of ig.

And our apartment is too small to have anyone stay here anyway.

What's up with you? Too much Instant Quaker Bitch for breakfast?

Just, er, how many creatures do you have there? And how many cages / tanks are scattered about? No wonder Jonsey takes so long to get home..

THE
VIDEO GAMES
DONT SLITHER
AARDVARK

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:If I ever come to visit you guys in Ft Collins, remind me to stay in a fucking HOTEL ROOM. It's like goddamn Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom over there.

Yeah, I was really worried about what I was going to do when one of the JC Stud Squad came to visit. I'll worry about that right after I worry about the Roche Limit breach on Phobos.

AArdvark wrote:Just, er, how many creatures do you have there? And how many cages / tanks are scattered about? No wonder Jonsey takes so long to get home..

THE
VIDEO GAMES
DONT SLITHER
AARDVARK

When one creature joins, it's because another has left. There's one iguana that we are hosting. Vitriola has a leopard gecko that has become a family member, so those are the only non-mammilian lifeforms about. All the snakes were moved a while ago.

Though, should we ever get a house there will probably be one room where she can deposit whatever species she wants in it. So at that point ALL BETS ARE OFF! BETS HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE TABLE! They'll literally RIP EACH OTHER'S HEADS OFF!

FWIW, I'm not bitching, merely noting that self-preservation instincts keep me the hell away from places where there are fucking BOA CONSTRICTORS running around loose.

Yeah, they're friendly, just like pit bulls.

Hey, you're welcome to have whatever pets you want. (Hey, I had 14 rats at one point, I know all about people being weirded out by your choice of pets.) But you have to understand that loose snakes tend to discourage visits. No snakes in the house, fine, that's certainly helpful.

Jonsey, it's not our fault you decided to move to somewhere with the tourist appeal of a bleeding zit. Move to LA, Vegas, San Francisco, Orlando, NYC... maybe even Chicago or Boston or somewhere like that, for God's sake - and then you'll have a better time getting us off our lazy asses and choosing your place for a visit.

JQW wrote:(Hey, I had 14 rats at one point, I know all about people being weirded out by your choice of pets.)

That many rats must really stink, I would hope they weren't in the house. I'd much rather have a snake or two in the house than a mess of smelly mice or rats.

JQW wrote:Jonsey, it's not our fault you decided to move to somewhere with the tourist appeal of a bleeding zit. Move to LA, Vegas, San Francisco, Orlando, NYC... maybe even Chicago or Boston or somewhere like that,

Yeah, if the Rocky Mountains, Vail, Aspen, alpine slides, Boulder rivers, and Denver culture had more places where you could get $7 sodas, stand in line for 2 hours before you got to see anything, bright, flashing lights everywhere you looked and a constant barrage of advertising they'd probably be alot more popular =( It must be SO much better when Robb can visit you on Bumblebee Lane, 45 minutes away from the nearest in spot in the middle of winter in an area that never sees the sun. I can totally understand why nobody comes here. Physical activity outdoors! Constant sunshine! The most beautiful scenery ever! Cool places to take kids! What a yawn.

I swear to god, if I wasn't already married, and knew her, I'd marry this girl.

Bugs says to go out and get your rings.....




THE
TIE THE KNOT
AARDVARK

Not suggesting RobB do or not do anything. I'm just saying, I love a woman with a quick wit and killer sense of humor, and Vitriola is about the only other woman I've seen who compares to my own sharp Quaker Instant Bitch.

Y'Know, that would make a cool photoshop!


Quaker Instant Bitch.....

Like those bubble gum cards with the spoof products on them.. What the hell were they called?

BRB..


THE
RESEARCH
AARDVARK

That's fucked up. People collect candy wrappers.

I seen trash cans do that. But most trash cans I know of have never posted collections on the internet. With pictures.

I consider a candy wrapper trash. Landfill, re-bicycle-able, gar-bahzze.

It's just somthing wrong here.

Anyway, if anyone knows the bubblegum cards I was referring to please thow up a link of som'thing.


THE
SHIT AINT RIGHT
AARDVARK

http://www.wackypackages.org/

There is an amusing confluence here. The owner of that website, and by all accounts the world's foremost authority on Wacky Packages is none other than Greg Grant.

Greg Grant is the son of Jackie and [Bob?] Grant.

Jackie Grant divorced [Bob?], however, and then later remarried. The name of the man she married was...

David Parrish.

Thus, Greg Grant, world's foremost authority on Wacky Packages is my stepbrother.

This fact doesn't land me nearly as many chicks as you would think.

Pinback! You are famous!

Thank you! I was amassing the nerve to try a search again

and now (like scrubbing bubbles) I don't have tooooo!


Dood! I FOUND MY WALLPAPER FOR THE NEXT MONTH

THE
WACKY
AARDVARK

JQW wrote:FWIW, I'm not bitching, merely noting that self-preservation instincts keep me the hell away from places where there are fucking BOA CONSTRICTORS running around loose.

Er... that was in the Reptile Rescue itself, which I do not regularly go to. I mean, I'll go there... the boas are locked up... I've had dinner there... but it's not a recreational place for Longmont's (I live in Longmont -- do not bother to memorize that, as we are moving before the end of the year) hottest youngsters.

Jonsey, it's not our fault you decided to move to somewhere with the tourist appeal of a bleeding zit. Move to LA, Vegas, San Francisco, Orlando, NYC... maybe even Chicago or Boston or somewhere like that, for God's sake - and then you'll have a better time getting us off our lazy asses and choosing your place for a visit.

I know it was said already, but it bears repeating. You live in Rochester, which has nothing going for it other than 1) Your friends 2) Pizza. And you don't even like pizza!

I PRESUME you were not trying to do a comparison between Denver and Rochester, but Denver and other cities. I'm stunned that you think Denver is inferior to frigging Boston or San Francisco. I mean, I can admit that it's inferior to Las Vegas and, probably, New Orleans, but BOSTON?

Have you even ever been to Boston? Serious question. I have not.

First off, only a fucking IDIOT would think that I was comparing Rochester to Ft Collins. (Which is not Denver. If you're going to play that card, I'll mention Niagara Falls - one of the seven wonders of the world, honeymoon capital of the world, as well as good tittybars - and NYC, greatest city in the USA. There's also Watkins Glen, USA's historic home of sports car racing.)

I said "you MOVED there" - obviously, none of the locals like me have MOVED to Rochester. We're here and have family and jobs and all and it's not worth attempting to move at this point. No job? Hate your family? Everyone else moved away? Dream job doesn't exist locally? Then it's understandable to move across the country.

And hell YES, Denver is inferior to those countries. Unless you're got a hard-on for skiing, and if you do, there are places all over the country that can offer good skiing.

'Vark, funny you should ask that, I went and nabbed a bunch of Wacky Packs jpgs back in October.

Vitrocola, you have to understand, RobB's folk's house is the one that is 45 minutes away from everything in Rochester. Most beautiful scenery anywhere? C'mon. I've travelled this country from one end to the other and seen nearly all the major sites. Denver ain't gonna cut it. And Denver culture? My morning yogurt has more culture.

And again, you're, what, an hour? 2? from Denver.

CO, rats are obsessively clean; the only smell is if you don't clean their cage (in our case, aquarium) regularly. The rats themselves are not foul-smelling at all.

JQW seems... angrier than he used to.

Doesn't he? Doesn't he seem angrier?