Obeying the Speed limit on an Alanta highway

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:58 am

Aside from the fact that I hate self-important students making their points on my time, I've been telling people for years that the drivers in Atlanta are the worst in the country. Nobody believes me when I say they WILL pass you on the shoulder in a traffic jam. No, just you. Because when 4 miles of traffic is stalled, they need to be 1 car ahead of where they were stopped. They will hit that car to get by. They will RUN OVER THOSE BLACK GUYS ON THE SIDEWALK to get around a parked car. 10+ vehicle with fatality accidents almost every week, just within 5 miles of where I lived. I bought my truck in Atlanta, and the sole, number one and only reason I did was because those motherfuckers have no respect for life on the highways anymore.

You know how in California or Connecticut everybody drives like 90 about 15 feet away from each other but there aren't that many accidents? Not in Atlanta. They can't drive, and they don't care. After a year and a half of driving in Atlanta I went down to Florida, and I was the biggest dick on the road. The car in front of me pulling out of the parking lot wasn't getting out as fast as I wanted him to, so I pulled around him to his left and left the lot first. Total Atlanta dick move.

Nobody but me saw or liked the Dukes of Hazzard movie, but when they get out of the country and are all set to go visit the University in Atlanta like they did in every show, except in the show they made it back in like 3 hours, in the movie you got a cut scene where they jumped to the General Lee parked in a sea of stopped vehicles on I-75 and everyone flipping them the bird. You had to live there to get that that was the funniest part of any movie made last year.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:12 pm

Vitriola wrote:They will RUN OVER THOSE BLACK GUYS ON THE SIDEWALK to get around a parked car.

Here they get around the parked car to run over the black guys on the sidewalk.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:19 pm

Remember when they did that on the NYS thruway from buffalo to Syracuse to try to get the speed limit back up to 65? The was an article in the D&C a bunch of years back. Man, good thing road rage wasn't invented yet.

THE
WHAT YOU
NEED TO GO THAT
FAST FOR
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 11:32 am

This is a very self-important comment about the artistic process and if any of you begin to hate me for it, I understand completely.

When I did Necrotic Drift, I quite literally wrote it from the beginning to the end, in order. It took about two and a half years to complete and the short of it is that I had been hanging out with those characters and, by extension, those actors for 36 months.

At the final scene I break away from transcribing the text into graphics and "introduce" the cast. The last six moves show the character on the screen, separate from what's happening in the text, and Lex, Da King, Loafergirl, Yenna, Tammy and Roody take a curtain call with their real names. No one has ever mentioned it, so I don't know if it was pretentious or neutral or what. It was just something I did because I was sad that I was never going to interact iN mY mInnIinnnnDDD with those characters again.

To see a shittily-put-together student film one step above the incompetence displayed in the "Seven Days" video within The Ring (which was intentionally awful) try to incompetently pull the same maneuver with people I'd love to punch in the face even before their stupid, childish antic about messing with traffic came into play makes me hate *myself*, even though I feel justified for doing what I did in my creation.

In other words, this video is so fucking terribly directed and shot, it makes other media a little worse.

Zero out of five stars.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:15 pm

Yeah. The stupid Mo Roccette who came up with the idea after being stoned. The girl who was screaming into the mic because she was outside. The tall "I'm serious, but I can totally kick people's asses" guy. The dumpy nerd chick with alright knockers.

Still, someone worthwhile doesn't get their mitts on good ideas some days. Sometimes, you've just got to watch artless college snots do it, ignore where it sucks, and chuckle.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:28 pm

I think you're all being snide and derogatory because you feel threatened. This was a pretty good, entertaining little film, and better than anything any of you have ever done in your lives.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:31 pm

I took a nice crap, just the other day, and that was better than that work of 'art'.

THE
T.P.
AARDVARK

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:40 pm

My "the more you know" and winking "AIDs Virus" posts I made were both more entertaining than this. It is entertaining, but they're not people I'd want to talk to even with a thousand miles of CAT5 between us.

aardvark www.ratemypoo.com takes forever for them to approve your submission tho.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:46 pm

Actually, I've been constipated lately and....

I think that if someone is going to make a video, one should use more production. Simply shooting everything and editing it down is a rather poor attempt. Too much MTV in thier lives, I think. Where's the special effects? And not just the select rewinding of the film during a song. Who ever heard of cool video without special effects? Remembe rthat time I made a video of me sticking a knife in a toaster (the brave little toaster, to be exact) I had a footswitch rigged to turn on a nice red christmas tree light every time I got 'shocked'. Small and pitiful, but a special effect. not just staging some protest about speed limits with screamy girls that nobody will pay attention to anyway.

THE
DO IT RIGHT
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 6:32 pm

pinback wrote:I think you're all being snide and derogatory because you feel threatened. This was a pretty good, entertaining little film, and better than anything any of you have ever done in your lives.

It works better as a sentence! "A bunch of my friends and I all went 55 in Atlanta and we caused this one guy to almost kill somebody."

I feel threatened. Yeah, that's probably it. These people haven't done anything worthwhile in their lives and after viewing that, they still haven't.

Can't I just hate how it was "directed"? Are you really telling me it was directed well? Because the content isn't worth discussing. They didn't even get the video of the white van breaking off his mirror, just the after-effects of it. And the line of cars being rewound and fast forward...ed... for three minutes was just fucking retarded.

Maybe you can put this in your top ten movies of all time list, right after Boogie Nights, what with them both being nigh pornographic.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 6:33 pm

AArdvark wrote:I think that if someone is going to make a video, one should use more production. Simply shooting everything and editing it down is a rather poor attempt. Too much MTV in thier lives, I think. Where's the special effects? And not just the select rewinding of the film during a song. Who ever heard of cool video without special effects? Remembe rthat time I made a video of me sticking a knife in a toaster (the brave little toaster, to be exact) I had a footswitch rigged to turn on a nice red christmas tree light every time I got 'shocked'. Small and pitiful, but a special effect. not just staging some protest about speed limits with screamy girls that nobody will pay attention to anyway.

What? WHAT?

I demand this video.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 6:57 pm

When I was at the reptile shelter today I told them about the video and then went off on a rant about Atlanta, and I keep forgetting that the 2 girls I work with lived there. One tends to get annoyed, and the other one pretty much got out of that city exactly what I did, which was it wasn't all that great.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 7:30 pm

I demand this video.

Sorry, it's on VHS. I don't have a capture card. Well I do but it refuses to work with XP. It's sitting on a bookshelf. Looks very nice.

Besides, the video is only about 30 seconds long, has a soundtrack featuring Steely Dan and portrays me repeatedly sticking a knife into a plain white toaster that shocks me again and again and again.

it was raining that day and I had nothing better to do.

THE
FUNNY HOME
VIDEO
AARDVARK

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 7:36 pm

Last time it was a rainy day in which I had nothing better to do was back in 2001, and I looked up "Robb Sherwin" on the internet, having not heard of him in 8 years. :)

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 11:23 am

My friends and I used to do this exact same thing in high school. Bob Chin's Crab Shack serves the most incredible bacon wrapped filet mingion, but the drive from where we all lived was a bit much. To make it more entertaining we took three or for seperate cars, linked together some walky-talkies and crawled along the highway at 55 or less in all available lanes.

Of course, we didn't film ourselves because we weren't embarrassingly smug, self-important assholes. Just, y'know, the good old fashioned regular kind of assholes.