Jolt Country

I have purchased SEVEN (7) sandwiches from Vons/Safeway! My next one will be FREE OF CHARGE!!!

MOST of the seven sandwiches have been "Grecian Delight"s! I hope nobody makes any gay jokes about that!

I like their sandwishes, but I hate paying $5 for something that is mostly bread or roll. If you get the wrap, you get half the food for the same price, and you realize how little fillings are in there.

I enjoy their bread!

BREAD IS LIFE! Like that pornographic ad said.

I got three free sandwiches in six years and then after you left Colorado and made some crack about how I was well on my way to my 17th or 40th or whatever it was, I have only been there once in the last year. Where's your God now, Parrish?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I got three free sandwiches in six years and then after you left Colorado and made some crack about how I was well on my way to my 17th or 40th or whatever it was

Ouch. Man, I don't remember harshing on you like that, but that seems pretty brutal, even for me. If I did ever insinuate that at some point you were going to receive 17 free sandwiches, man, I really, truly apologize.

It's actually quite embarrassing to see that in print here. I was going through some tough times back then, as you know. I can only chalk it up to the emotional turmoil I was experiencing, and I hope that some day, in some way, you will be able to, if not forgive me, at least accept what I have done, and move on as friends.

It's cool, I just polished off Free Sandwich #18, so I hardly had room to be contrary. Yum!

Oh crap, my heart!

Today I had Free Sandwich #1.

It was a 6" Grecian Delight.

It was prepared my trainees.

There were crazy drunk homeless people antagonizing the help, and being threatened with having to call security.

It was very exciting! Are ALL Free Sandwiches this exciting???

Yeah, when I got my second one there was a raging debate in the back regarding the cocksmanship of two of the staff. They frigging whipped it out and had a cockfight literally three feet from my roast beef on multigrain. The guy who made... shit, I want to stress the next word, too... er... my free sandwich started chuckling at this and didn't stop the entire time, except when he asked me how many leafy greens I wanted, which was none, but that didn't stop the Cardassian-like inquisition he gave me in case I suddenly saw additional lights.

ICJ's Helpful Hints for the Shy: If you'd like someone to ask you at least three questions, get a submarine sandwich with no vegetables on it. You're GUARANTEED to be asked the following:

"Did you want any veggies?"

"Did you say you wanted lettuce on that?"

"How about some tomato? No?"

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:...had a cockfight literally three feet from my roast beef on multigrain.

You've never ordered multigrain in your life. Don't front.