Jolt Country

OK, in this thread you have to pretend to be Ben asking a lovely young waitress named "Rainy" out on a date. If you would like a more in-depth report on just who Rainy is, click here. Also, it's legal to both enter multiple times and use this thread as sort of a catch-all, passive-aggressive way to smear other forum members. I'll go first:

"Hey, doll, look... a bunch of us had a bet on what it is that you do for a living. I won. I guessed... ah, shit! Those fuckers set me up! GODDAMMIT. I'm going to skewer Clash and my Satanic Cousin Matt from crotch to septum. You want to come with? We'll get some coffee after I get what I need from the butcher's. And afterwards maybe I'll pleasure you... from crotch to septum."

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:OK, in this thread you have to pretend to be Ben asking a lovely young waitress named "Rainy" out on a date.

R: Hi. I'm Rainy and I'll be your server tonight! Can I interest you in our catch of the day? It's farm-raised tilapia in a butter-dill sauce!

B: Um.

R: <waits>

B: Er.

R: <begins to tap impatiently on her pad with her pen> Sir?

B: Um, you'relikereallyhotandI'vewantedyouformonthsandallmydorkyfriendsonjoltcountrytoldmeIshouldaskyouout

R: <blink> <blink>

B: Oh God.

R: <blink>

B: Uh, yeah, whatever, tilapia is great.

R: <leaves>

B: <eats dinner in silence, leaves, returns to his drab miserable everyday life>

----fast forward 30 years----

R is a WAITRESS in a SLEAZY DINER at HOLLYWOOD and VINE. She has gray hair badly colored bright red. She chain-smokes and has a voice like a cat being strangled with razorwire.

B enters the SLEAZY DINER. He is a SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN, in an impeccable SUIT, distinguished SILVER HAIR, and shiny SHOES.

R: Yeah, whaddleitbe?

B: Cup of coffee. Black. And a Western Omlette.

R: K, doll. Hey...don't I....?

B: <blank stare>

R: <pressing her luck> Yeah! YEAH! YOU ASKED ME OUT! Back when I was working at the nice restaurant! Right! Oh, God, what a fool I was! I should have said YES! WHY, OH GOD, WHY DIDN'T I SAY YES?

B: Do I know you?

B: In the immortal words of Butthead "Hey baby, wanna wrestle?"

B: So when do you get off?

Now this is all from a mud.

If rep is below twenty
R: Screw off.
If rep is above twenty
R: Anytime you want.

Now ben has to keep on doing that quest where he takes that girl back to his mother. Have any of you guys play L.O.R.D 2?

Only LORD the original, woo nelly Seth Green!