Jolt Country

There is a level of sauce above anything you will get at a grocery store, anything you will get at a restaurant, anything you will get at a friends' house.

These are the "toxic" sauces. The Dave's Insanities. The Blair's Deaths. The sauces made of little but habanero extract, over which a toothpick's end's-worth in your mouth will send most people to the bathroom at best, and to the hospital at worst.

They are unsafe in all but the most experienced chile-head's hands.

And they are nothing when compared to the NUCLEAR SAUCES.

Nuclear sauces have some things in common, in that they come in unusually small bottles, cost unusually much, and you can't actually buy them anywhere.

I've just come into ownership of my first nuclear sauce. It is: DA' BOMB: FINAL ANSWER.

It arrived tonight direct from Original Juan's, wrapped tight in fifteen layers of bubble-wrap. I didn't realize when I ordered it that it would be so tiny. Their regular sauce is 4oz for $6. I paid $40 for this, and it's 2 ounces. A little teeny eyedropper bottle.

I bought it with the display case.

I'm debating whether to open it or not. I've never tried a nuclear sauce before. I taste toxic sauces now and while they are indeed painful, I no longer fear for my life.

I want that thrill again.

Can I resist opening a $40 bottle of sauce for a taste of a pinhead's worth of product?

We shall see.

pinback wrote:Can I resist opening a $40 bottle of sauce for a taste of a pinhead's worth of product?

Answer: NO!

After showing off the bottle and the case for my coworkers for an hour or so, I could no longer resist! I unlocked the padlocked case, removed the plastic seal, and opened the bottle.

It comes with a very thin dropper attached to the cap, from which you can dab out the substance a single (very small - like the size of a BB) drop at a time.

The "substance" in question resembled a thick, viscous oil more than a "sauce". There were no identifiable "ingredients", for instance.

I gingerly took the dropper, took a saltine, and waited for the deadly dab to drop, which it finally did -- just enough to fill up one of the little holes in the cracker -- you know, those little holes you get in saltines.

I eagerly shoved the cracker in my mouth and chomped.

It took about five seconds for the heat to spread and take hold.

A sublime experience! I would not say that the pain level was significantly worse than any of the other extract sauces, but it reached that level with much less volume, that was the impressive part.

In short, a fine product to carry around and drip into any dishes that you want to get really hot.

(This doesn't count as my review, which I will eventually put in the review thread.)