Jolt Country

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:22 pm**

1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.

1.
Multimedia Developer

2.
Website Designer

3.
Desktop Publisher

4.
Fashion Designer

5.
Animator

6.
Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator

7.
Set Designer

8.
Costume Designer

9.
Video Game Developer

10.
Computer Animator

11.
Graphic Designer

12.
Artist

13.
Web Developer

14.
Database Developer

15.
Medical Illustrator

16.
Telephone Operator

17.
Computer Network Specialist

18.
Special Effects Technician

19.
Actor

20.
Comedian

I'd rather perform back alley cocklighting for a living than do almost all of that stuff. I am curious as to what Ben gets, because I know he craves the sweet release of death over what it is they pay us to do as well.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:50 pm**

1. Multimedia Developer

2. Costume Designer

3. Website Designer

4. Special Effects Technician

5. Industrial Designer

6. Animator

7. Desktop Publisher

8. Computer Programmer

9. Actor

10. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator

11. Fashion Designer

12. Video Game Developer

13. Set Designer

14. Computer Animator

15. Artist

16. Graphic Designer

17. Business Systems Analyst

18. Comedian

19. Medical Illustrator

20. Database Developer

Seems like a pretty even split between nerdy things and arty things. It's fairly accurate.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:13 pm**

Robb's are pretty much on :)

Mine:

1.Planner

Want to, need the degree

2.Driving Instructor

Fuck no

3.Social Worker

Almost went into that field, realized I'd end up in jail for assault

4.Ecologist

doing it

5.Addictions Counselor

Thought about it, gotta get over mine first, doesn't pay shit

6.Clergy

uh, no

7.Environmental Consultant

Done it, is my career path if I can get it together

8.Humanitarian Aid Worker

Want to, doesn't pay shit

9.Foreign Service Officer

Would, hate to fly

10.Cable Installer and Repairer

Sure, I guess...

11.Electrical Engineering Tech
12.Electronics Engineering Tech
13.Industrial Engineering Tech

yup, would need to learn that shit. Almost decided to become sound engineer in college.

14.Taxidermist

Nope, either don't kill them or leave them to be, let nature take its course

15.Genetic Counselor

Nope, fuck you, yuppies

16.Biological Tech

Would, degree

17.Foreign Language Instructor

Yup, would, need to refresh my own learned languages first

18.ESL Teacher

thought about it, would probably have to fly. See: do not fly

19.Sport Psychology Consultant

Nope

20.Botanist

Doing it, it is what I do

21.Veterinary Technician

Have been thinking about it, actually

22.Biologist

doing it

23.Psychologist

in a second, need expensive degrees to give my bullshit opinions credibility

24.Librarian

done it

25.Marine Biologist

scared of poisoning

26.Dental Assistant

could, not my first choice

27.Zoologist

doing it

28.Electrician

would love to learn this. I could totally be someone's apprentice.

29.Cartographer

done it, fun

30.Computer Trainer

know nothing, but if I did...

31.Electronics Assembler

I could do this, maybe, if it wasn't an assembly line job

32.Air Traffic Controller

Um, you kinda got to have what it takes to do this. I don't.

33.Electronics Repairer

That would be awesome, yet, I know nothing, just wish I did

34.Small Engine Mechanic

see above

35.Industrial-Organizational Psychologist

In a second. see: need degree which I can't afford

36.Curator

doing it

37.Industrial Engineer

need degree

38.Professor

need degree

39.Explosives Specialist

maybe, uh, no

40.Survey Tech

done it, would do it again, pays shit

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:46 pm**

Vitriola wrote:5.Addictions Counselor

Thought about it, gotta get over mine first, doesn't pay shit

What do you consider your addiction(s)?

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:09 pm**

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:17 pm**

ZING!!!

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:19 pm**

I'm game

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:20 pm**

Knuckles the CLown wrote:1.
Nursery / Greenhouse Grower
Gay
2.
Airport Ground Crew
Stupid
3.
Ironworker
Ok
4.
Construction Tradesperson
done that
5.
Bricklayer / Stonemason
Ok
6.
Lineworker
fuck no
7.
Insulator
ok
8.
Landscaper
done that
9.
Plasterer
OF WOMENS FACES BWHAHAHA
10.
Heavy Equipment Operator
Doing that
11.
Drywaller
sucks done that
12.
Concrete Mason
ok
13.
Roofer
ok
14.
Archaeologist
that would be fucking cool
15.
Professional Athlete
Yeah that goal worked out well
16.
Train Operator
fun
17.
Truck Driver
doing that
18.
Pipefitter
insert inuendo
19.
Commercial Diver
done that
20.
Road Construction and Maintenance Worker
done that
21.
Painter
boring
22.
Fisher
kinda cool
23.
Crane Operator
too stressful
24.
Stock Clerk
yeah $10 an hour for life there
25.
Housekeeper
huh?
26.
Steamfitter
whatever
27.
Flooring Installer
no thanks
28.
Sprinkler System Installer
one step above lawn mower
29.
Sheet Metal Worker
k
30.
Glazier
of dougnuts?
31.
Miner (Underground)
can't becuase George Bush let em down
32.
Autobody Repairer
eh
33.
Forester
tan shorts and black boots
34.
Plumber
$85 an hour
35.
Tree Harvester
gay
36.
Dental Lab Tech
I chew tabacco for christ sakes
37.
Production Woodworker
obsolete
38.
Carpenter
k
39.
Upholsterer
booring
40.
Welder
blindness guarntee but lucrative

I would say this thing is pretty accurate, lot of things I would be intersted. Good job not sucking RObbb.

Nowhere does child party entertainer appear, I can only assume party clown would have been 41st.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:31 pm**

My Top Ten

Millwright
(Do that now, partly)

Film Processor
(Nah, everyone's gone digital)

Technical Writer
(assemble the Cranston with flange B adjacent to the widget tab)

Stationary engineer
( Hmmm, I think 8-1/2" X 11" in a powder blue, no lines)

Industrial Designer
(Move the incinerator pits away from the exits)

Power Plant Operator
( Yeah, i got yer 'lectricity, right here)

Industrial machine mechanic
( do that now, partly)

Costume Designer
( Isn't this codpiece to DIE for?)

Desktop publisher
( I could be the next World Weekly News!)

THE
OCCUPIED
AARDVARK

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:50 pm**

Chimney Sweep is way too low on the list.

1. Sport Psychology Consultant

2. Psychologist

3. Naturopath

4. Licensed Practical Nurse

5. Addictions Counselor

6. Genetic Counselor

7. Marriage and Family Therapist

8. Art / Music Therapist

9. Massage Therapist

10. Public Health Nurse

11. Arborist

12. Hospital Service Worker

13. Cryptozookeeper

14. Esthetician

15. Nurse Practitioner

16. Acupuncturist

17. Hairstylist

18. Mover

19. Kinesiologist

20. Animal Caretaker

21. Nurse

22. Chimney Sweep

23. Horse Trainer

24. Actor

25. Gerontologist

26. Taxidermist

27. Chiropractor

28. Special Effects Technician

29. Window Washer

30. Physical Therapy Assistant

31. Athletic Trainer

32. Animal Trainer

33. Personal Trainer

34. Pet Groomer

35. Desktop Publisher

36. Housekeeper

37. Nursery / Greenhouse Grower

38. Sign Maker

39. Plasterer

40. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:40 pm**

Hair stylist? BWA-HAHAAAAAAAAAAA

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:07 pm**

pinbacker wrote:Chimney Sweep is way too low on the list.

1. Sport Psychology Consultant

2. Psychologist

3. Naturopath

4. Licensed Practical Nurse

5. Addictions Counselor

6. Genetic Counselor

7. Marriage and Family Therapist

Intersting..... the Knuckles will not comment cause Robb protects everyone.

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:27 pm**

what is a sports psychology consultant?

is that a 'game-face' guy? like motivational speaker fat Tommy Boy guy?

THE
FELINE
CHEMISTRY
DISBURSER
ADMINISTRATOR
AARDVARK

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:28 pm**

Knuckles the CLown wrote:
pinbacker wrote: Chimney Sweep is way too low on the list.

Quote:

1. Sport Psychology Consultant

2. Psychologist

3. Naturopath

4. Licensed Practical Nurse

5. Addictions Counselor

6. Genetic Counselor

7. Marriage and Family Therapist

Intersting..... the Knuckles will not comment cause Robb protects everyone.

...and probably because you'd have nothing to say.

Here's to YOU, long-distance trucker!

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:37 pm**

Oh I got plenty there sweet cheeks

Posted: **Thu Sep 13, 2007 9:13 pm**

Hey NURSE PINBACK! I GOT AN ACHE IN MY BALLS!

Ahahahahahaha!!!!

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:33 am**

That's eerie, they got it almost right on. Almost all of their suggestions are a good fit, and several are exactly what I'm doing or going to do.

1.Importer/Exporter
- this is what I wanted to do in my last year of college, didn’t happen
2.Lobbyist
- sure
3.Corporate / Commercial Lawyer
- why yes, I am planning to go to law school in a few years
4.Economist
- I happen to be very interested in economics but didn’t go that way
5.Advertising Account Executive
- never sold ads, seemed cheesy
6.Entrepreneur
- absolutely
7.Judge
- doubtful
8.Criminologist
- nah
9.Investment Advisor
- interested but no
10.Venture Capitalist
- I would fucking love to do this
11.Electrician
- where’d this come from?
12.Media Buyer
- ok
13.Management Consultant
- wouldn’t be bad
14.Office Manager
- nah
15.Health Care Administrator
- um, nope
16.Marketing Specialist
- this was my exact job title about 7 years ago
17.Technical Sales Representative
- this is almost my exact job title now
18.Sales Representative
- yep, what I do
19.Public Policy Analyst
- no, but I’ll argue with some libertarian fuckers anytime
20.Communications Specialist
- this was my major in 3rd year of college
21.Political Aide
- hmm
22.Activist
- not too hot on this
23.Politician
- does it matter that I have pot convictions? It does? Then no.
24.Civil Litigator
- not my cup of tea
25.Criminal Lawyer
- I’m not into being a trial lawyer
26.Lawyer
- business law, yep
27.Auctioneer
- can’t talk that fast
28.Economic Development Officer
- that would be great
29.Public Relations Specialist
- would be interesting
30.Writer
- not creative enough
31.Musical Instrument Builder and Repairer
- not patient enough
32.Art Dealer
- not gay enough
33.Translator
- I hated learning Spanish, so no
34.Telephone Operator
- I use a telephone all day long but I don’t think that’s what they mean
35.Print Journalist
- I could have done this but might have ended up like Steven Glass or Jayson Blair
36.Market Research Analyst
- actually I do this on the side
37.Telemarketer
- exactly what I do but I’d never call on people at home
38.Sports Marketer
- certain sports, sure, but I know shit about team sports
39.Agent
- would be interesting
40.Jeweler
- nope

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:37 am**

a website wrote:1. Director of Photography

2. Actor

3. Director

4. Special Effects Technician

5. Animator

6. Fashion Designer

7. Costume Designer

8. Makeup Artist

9. Artist

10. Graphic Designer

11. Computer Animator

12. Casting Director

13. Composer

14. Comedian

15. Medical Illustrator

16. Website Designer

17. Desktop Publisher

18. Set Designer

19. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator

20. Musician

21. Video Game Developer

22. Magician

23. Multimedia Developer

24. Sign Maker

25. Dental Lab Tech

26. Taxidermist

27. Upholsterer

28. Chef

29. Curator

30. Web Developer

31. Insurance Underwriter

32. Database Developer

33. Gunsmith

34. Baker

35. Brewmaster

36. Musical Instrument Builder and Repairer

37. Manufacturing Machine Operator

38. Veterinarian

39. Picture Framer

40. Furniture Finisher

Posted: **Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:49 am**

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Intersting..... the Knuckles will not comment cause Robb protects everyone.

By the way, my brother specifically asked me, in the past and this year, to not pick on some of his idiot friends during the fantasy baseball and football drafts that I am in, for his leagues. This is partially because some of the dumbest people I've ever met are involved (which is fine, I am not going to attack anybody over that) and also because they are capable of competition-killing moves. One guy traded away Scott Kazmir in a deal that was actually WORSE than the one that originally sent him to Tampa Bay.

Here's what I said after the guy's weak-kneed attempt to call me out, after I said (in general terms) that some owners were making bad trades:

I don't normally don't give a crap about the fact that most of the posts slapped together from you meaty-pawed, balding ham hocks read like they were assembled from glued-together colored pasta, but the phrase I think you were groping for in between deciding that having an injured Devil Ray third baseman named "Akinori" on your team was more valuable than the #1 overall prospect in baseball was "*You're* an idiot." Unless you just decided that if you were going to drop the future AL MVP this week you certainly weren't going to have any problems dropping apostrophes. I wouldn't normally say anything, because I hate nitpicking that shit but JESUS CHRIST.

But what do I know, any time you're able to grab the trifecta of a guy who is hurt, a Devil Ray AND a Japanese infielder you definitely want to hang onto him with death's grip. With your stellar decision making, if I actually clicked on his profile there is like a 60% chance that I'm going to find out that in addition to all that he's also a girl. There's probably a Ukranian shortstop with a club hand coming up in the Rangers' system that you can dump Prince Fielder for, you sniveling nobody. I hate to be the one to break it to you, because God knows who else in this league is unaware, but you actually get to keep 5 guys each year and not three. I'm thinking you could have found space for him seeing how your keeper list is now Hafner, Mauer, Fielder, Gorzelanny and Doumit.

But hey, at least he didn't immediately get picked up by someone in your own division so you won't have to face him for the next 20 seasons, Captain Bavasi.

I know that a lot of that might not be comprehensible, but trust me, it's hilarious. And for this, I was asked by my brother to lay off.

Posted: **Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:33 pm**

1. Agricultural Engineer

Huh? I mean, OK, maybe it makes sense, kinda. But never a career I woulda picked.

2. Aerospace Engineer
3. Mechanical Engineer
4. Mechanical Engineering Tech
5. Biomedical Engineer
6. Computer Engineer
7. Electrical Engineer

Are we sensing a theme here? "6" is sorta close to what I do for real.

8. Architect
9. Chemical Engineer
10. Anthropologist
11. Mining Engineer
12. Oceanographer
13. Environmental Engineer

All things I might have enjoyed doing, actually. "Anthropologist" seems out of place, but anthropology is pretty cool. Just requires too much interpersonal contact.

14. Technical Writer

Yeah, I do this too in real life.

15. Petroleum Engineer
16. Mathematician
17. Industrial Engineer

Hey, why not just tell me I have Asperger's and get it over with? All, also, cool careers.

18. Historian

Hey, look, it's my Master's Degree!

19. Computer Programmer

Yeah, I do this too.

20. Taxidermist

RAWK.

21. Marine Biologist
22. Zoologist

I guess if I'm working with animals I'd prefer them dead.

23. Electronics Repairer
24. Model Maker

Hey, two of my hobbies, basically.

25. Elevator Installer and Repairer

WTF?

26. Operations Research Analyst
27. Office Machine Repairer
28. Project Manager
29. Multimedia Developer

Well, at least they got the relative ranking of these four right.

30. Race Car Mechanic
31. Aircraft Mechanic
32. Small Engine Mechanic
33. Diesel Mechanic
34. Motorcycle Mechanic

...and I am indeed thinking of taking up CNC milling as another hobby. Which leads pretty naturally into small engine repair.

35. Locksmith
36. Automobile Mechanic
37. Conservator
38. Engineering Tech

37 is a little odd there. Other than that, pretty much a continuation of the "fixin' stuff" theme.

39. Paleontologist
40. Hydrologist / Hydrogeologist

So, that's pretty interesting: "Asperger's engineering jobs, or scientific professions with a lot of fieldwork. Or fixing shit."

It makes sense.

Also, apparently, I should stuff beavers.

Bruce

Jolt Country

I took a career quiz!

I took a career quiz!