Mini-movie review: Solaris (1972)

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Nov 23, 2002 1:13 am

So, the original Solaris is playing at a little art house in town for the next week, and I thought I'd drop by, as it's such a rare occurrence, and I'd only seen the movie once before, on pan/scan VHS, and that just ain't gonna hack it.

I listened to Ebert/Roeper reviewing the upcoming remake, and the one complaint they had was that it was "too short". After re-watching the original (which I'll be doing again next Tuesday when I take some friends), all I can say is: "BWAH-HA-HOOOOOoooooooaaAgughhghh."

So now we'll have two versions of Solaris: One that's too short, and one that goes on for several months. Take your pick.

This movie is LONG. Not as long as The Godfather, but you'll swear it's the longest movie ever made, because it's also SLOW. I mean, REAL slow. Slow enough where you start to fear that there might end up being a riot in the theater by the other audience members if things don't pick up.

About a half hour into the movie, there's a scene of an ancillary minor character driving from the countryside to the airport, or to some place in the city. It's shown from the point of view of the car, as if you are looking out the front window.

This scene lasts over ten minutes.

Still not sure what the point of that was, but Tarkovsky's a genius, right, so it has to be extremely meaningful. There's a lot of moments like that in this movie.

So, after the ten minute car ride, the movie goes on for another two hours or so, during which one or two things actually happen, but these events are spaced out enough that you never get worried that you're going to blink (or go to the bathroom, or move to Venice and write an opera) and miss something. And the events themselves are along the lines of: "The main character's girlfriend bumps into a door and cuts herself." That's 20 minutes right there.

You get the point.

Now, that being said, if you can enjoy a movie whose languid pace makes 2001 look like Armageddon, it is a deeply moving emotional film, with a shattering performance by the above girlfriend (when she's not bumping into doors), and many beautiful, thought provoking sights and sounds and... what, smells? Well, maybe not smells.

Anyway, if you like SF, and you like movies that make you think/feel rather than simply entertain you, see if you can find it locally. If not, the DVD is coming out pretty much on the same day the remake comes out. What a coincidence, eh?

Then you'll have a choice: Watch the old one once, or the new one twice. You'll probably leave the theater at the exact same time anyway.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 4:39 am

Your collective indifference to this thread is key in understanding why the Base Monitor had to come LAY THE SMACK DOWN on your sorry assi. This is the most interesting subject that's ever been discussed on this bulletin board computer system, and nobody's talking.

In any case, I just got back from yet another screening of the 1972 film, and this time, everything just clicked, and I found myself more than willing to elevate it from "good, if enigmatic (and ponderously slow) movie" to "pure art". I think the keys to making this important leap lay in the following two important facts:

1. I had seen it recently, and studied in the meantime, so I'd had a chance to sort out some of the complexities in my mind before attacking it again, so I didn't need to "have my guard up" to catch important details.

2. The large bottle of sake I had at the sushi place before the film.

In any case, if you just kick back, turn the sound way up (which I'm very happy to report that the NuArt theater on the westside is more than happy to do) and let the movie roll over you, it is moving and exceptional. And once again, the performance by the dead ex-wife character really challenges William H. Macy's job in Fargo for my vote for greatest acting performance of all time. Plus, she's hot as hell (or at least was, 30 years ago... time sucks.)

About 3/4 of the way through the movie this time, I finally figured out what the moral of the story was, though.

The moral of the story is: CALL YOUR MOTHER, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT!!!

I will go see the remake tomorrow and report back with my findings.

As excited as I am to see it, I've gotta kinda agree with one of the people I went to see it with tonight, as we were leaving the theater. She said: "What is the point of remaking this? It's like remaking 2001."

There's validity here. From a pure filmmaking aspect, it's hard to imagine anyone outdoing the original here. The difference, I think, is that while Solaris' special effects are effective (yet sparse) for their time, they are noticeably dated.

One of 2001's many fabulous features, though, is that the special effects in that movie are, for the most part, unequaled even to this day, this day of billion dollar CGI computers and all that crap. If you were to set out to remake 2001 just for the sake of updating the effects, there is NO WAY to succeed, because the effects are already more outstanding than anything that's been seen since.

Solaris, on the other hand, might do well just to get a little facelift in the technical aspect. From the reviews I've read so far, it sounds like the new version is a shorter, spiffier version of the original. That's doubtless good news, because the buzz is "we haven't seen a movie this thoughtful and mysterious since 2001", which I've heard a few times about a few other movies, but which I've been waiting for since I first became aware that 2001 existed.

That being said, after tonight's experience of just leaning back and kicking it with the sake and the big screen, I just don't know if I can enjoy a version of Solaris that doesn't feel like it's FIVE FRIGGING MONTHS LONG.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 4:43 am

I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING FRIENDS!

I HAVE NOBODY TO GO SEE MOVIES WITH.

IT TOOK ME TWO MONTHS OF THREATS AND SIDE DEALS TO GET MY BROTHER -- YES, A BROTHER OF BLOOD AND FLESH AND EVERYTHING -- TO AGREE TO GO SEE "THE RING" WITH ME SO I WASN'T "THAT GUY" AT THE THEATRE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO WHEN I RETURN TO ROCHESTER, NY FOR CHRISTMAS VACATION? DO YOU? GO AHEAD AND GUESS BEN! MAKE MANY GUESSES!

DID YOU GUESS?

I AM GOING TO EAT "PIZZA SHACK" PIZZA AND WATCH FLICKS WITH MY FRIENDS! AND THAT'S IT!

(PLUS GET MY CAPS LOCK KEY FIXED)

SO, THIS IS NOT ME BEING INDIFFERENT... I AM SIMPLY FUCKED WHEN IT COMES TO SEEING MOVIES! GODDAMN MY LIFE! GODDAMMIT! LEX GOES TO ROCKY HORROR AND KYLIE FUCKING MINOGUE IS THERE ACTING IT OUT! NOT ONLY DOES HE GET TO SEE MOVIES, BUT THE HOTTEST BITCH UNDER 5'4" ON THE PLANET IS THERE ACTING IT OUT FOR HIM! WHEN'S GONNA BE MY TIME! WHEN THE FUCK'S GONNA BE MY TIME???!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 4:46 am

You don't go to movies by yourself?

I never understood that. I understand not going to RESTAURANTS by yourself, because then you're just sitting there staring at the wall and scarfing down glorified cheese doodles.

But at a movie, everyone is supposed to be FACE-FRONT and silent as a stone (please, please). What different does it make if you go by yourself or with a brigade of giant mechanical moon monkeys?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 4:50 am

I do go to movies by myself, actually. I hate doing so. Why? Because it's basically me admitting that I haven't done enough to surround myself with a circle of friends out here, and that I am living a lot of my life on-line.

That being said, I have been known to cut out of work at 2:30pm on a Friday or something and go across the street to the Mall which contains a Theatre which often shows Movies that I do particularly enjoy.

To sum up: tomorrow is the biggest go-out-and-drink day according to suburban legend. I am going to go out, drink nice and slowly as per Bruce's instructions on Monto Rusa, and get me some frigging digits. I am sick of living life like this.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 4:53 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I do go to movies by myself, actually. I hate doing so. Why? Because it's basically me admitting that I haven't done enough to surround myself with a circle of friends out here, and that I am living a lot of my life on-line.

No, I understand this feeling. It's why I don't like going to restaurants by myself. I just never understood why the same stigma got attached to movies. It's not a social activity.

I know well enough that when I'm walking around Knott's Berry Farm by myself, I am a WEIRDO, an OUTCAST, a social MISFIT, a potential CHILD-MOLESTER (in parents' eyes only, I should add).

But, movies? You're just SITTING THERE, in a DARK ROOM, looking at a gigantic TELEVISION. Why is this considered a necessarily social activity?

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 5:02 am

That's a good question. But a better question is: Why hasn't Jonsey got any friends?

The secret is making one or two, if you possibly can. Then get taken into their circles. This works if you are a chimpanzee, or Irish. I don't know what the social systems are in Americana, but I'm sure Filthy Colonials don't have it that bad.

I remade 2001 in Flash, does that count? I think it's somewhere on the Elitomik site; I'll look around for it when I try to find my anti-semi-colon cream; www.misp.fsnet.co.uk; see you around.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Nov 27, 2002 3:02 pm

I was exaggerating, mostly. Of course, I do have friends out here. I am not a big chunk of social garbage. However, anybody who either dates somebody in this state or, God forfend, marries someone is instantly worthless when it comes to doing any sort of hanging out with. And Christ, the women they are hanging about are not so OMG OMG unbelievable that it justifies spending every last fucking waking moment with them.

I mean, guys out here have to get permission to come over and watch football on Sunday. That sort of thing. It's fucking pathetic.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:49 pm

I do not remember hitting the theater to watch Solaris twice. This thread is evidence that I did, but as the Lord God Almighty is my witness, I don't remember seeing it twice.

God bless this BBS. Most of my last five years would be unverifiable (and in most cases, completely forgotten) without it.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:46 am

I really liked the Solaris remake. Five out of five stars.

Boy, I sound like a forgotten pussy at the beginning of this thread.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 6:34 pm

The only people who go to movies by themsleves are perverts. They always have on trenchcoats with nothing underneath. One hand in the popcorn the other on their crank.

There isn't a social stigma involved with solo movie viewing per se. It's just embarrasing. Generally couples go to movies or large groups of geeks/high school kids. A middle age guy sitting by himself watching Tomb Raider just reeks of CREEEEPPY!!