Jolt Country

Grand Theft Auto IV

Full disclosure: even if this is the best game of all-time, I am not buying it for months, because I have no game budget, and am still having fun with Persona 3 and Ultima IV. That being said, it is fun to talk about these things, isn't it? Oh. Assuming it is not being recently immediately for the PC, I also can't play it.

The first review is from a UK gaming magazine.

New information disclosed in this article:

Skipping a trip in a taxi costs more than simply sitting back and enjoying the view of the driver's head.
The Statue of Happiness is clutching a coffee cup rather than the torch her real life counterpart has.
Some celebrity voice actors play themselves in the game.
Like Crackdown's Orbs, the collectable (hidden packages?) in GTA IV make a soft sound as you get close to them, aiding you in finding them all.
Your in-game email account will get the odd piece of spam.
Driving through flames will set a car's tires on fire, causing them to burst after a while.
One mission involves traveling across town with two bodies in the trunk - if you hit a bump and it opens, you'll have to scramble to close it again before any passers-by notice.
The mobile phone you receive at the start of the game is an old, second hand model capable only of calling and texting. You'll need to wait for an upgrade later in the story to unlock the full functionality that people get from more modern models.
Downloadable episodes are confirmed to contain at least 10 hours of gameplay.

While I would never say a game developer "can't" do this or that, I'll admit that I was turned off by the constant n-bomb dropping of the last one. If that's how people talk in real life then great, fantastic, awesome, but all it takes is to not pay attention to what you're saying out in public and let a game like that influence you and your life is basically over.

Er, on that note... GTA4! I read that they are expecting 400 million dollars as an opener, which I guess would shatter the previous record set by Halo.

Imagine how difficult it is for someone who knows black people that talk like that? Wait, it's not hard at all.

I went to a predominantly black high school in a low-income part of town, and made quite a few friends who were connected to the gangbanging scene in some form or fashion. The vernacular in San Andreas is surprisingly accurate.

As I told Worm or somebody, I've pretty much lost my excitement over this one. Instead of making individual missions awesomely more explosive and cinematic than basically anything you can just do within the game proper, Rockstar games, to me, have become more about jumping through stupid little hoops with little reward.

Still, the visuals look good, and I'll definitely keep my ear to the ground on this one, but I'm thinking Vice City might be the last GTA game that was really up my alley.

'Worm or somebody' stings more than just saying somebody.

Anyway, no one with a brain is going to deny that they've rereleased GTA III with minor improvements six times (including the PSP games and bully). Most of their other games have used the GTA engine and suffered for it, Manhunt 1 and 2 not only crystallize this argument but they actually make the argument merely by existing. I haven't played The Warrior, but I imagine it's just GTA III with some grapples that made it into Bully.

I think everyone knows that from GTA III to GTA:SA the games have been more of the same. Some crime story complete with a bunch of normal missions and a few pull out your hair ones. No one with taste is going to have the skits from the GTA III's talk stations on their playlist, no one is going to say there is any good reason to expect that GTA IV won't just be all the same shit with some reasonably unimpressive advancements (online play, deeper customization, etc).

However I'll say that even if it is just a boring rehash, it's still going to be pretty fun to play, and those Saints Rows guys will be kicking themselves for releasing after GTA IV. If it's not just a boring rehash, it's going to be incredible.

Point is, you're a somebody in MY book, Worm!

I personally think San Andreas was a major leap from the previous games. It had a lot of little improvements but they all added up to making the game far less frustrating and way more fun.

I mean, it's not without its annoyances, but it certainly tests my patience a lot less than the others did.

Also, The Warriors is the best 3D beat-em-up I have ever played in my life.

I'm going to sound like a pretentious arse for saying this, but I don't get the new Grand Theft Auto games. You can drive or shoot people, and that wears thin on me even though I am all for virtual murder simulators. Even Keza, who despises violent video games, is excited about GTA IV, but it leaves me cold.

GTA is made just up the road from my flat in Edinburgh, and this has served them really well getting comedy talent. It was an awesome idea but it should've occurred to them years back.

Edinburgh has the Fringe Festival every year, which is a month-solid in which the entire centre of the city becomes a circus. Every comedian in Britain comes to do a show here, there are over 500 venues showing acts continuously. If you watched every show that plays in Edinburgh, it would be time for next years festival before you were halfway.

Edinburgh is a Trial By Fire for comedians and entertainers in Britain. You're just 2-bit on the comedy circuit until the first quote on your poster is an Edinburgh review.



It's a small city, so this means that one's nearest bars and clubs become stuffed with celebrities for over a month (both Red Dwarf's Hollys and Chris Barrie hang in the Tron, my local).

This means that, for a month, Rockstar have the chance to ask any comedian or British actor in Britain, and a fair chunk from the rest of the world, in off of the street. I am glad someone finally realised it.

Ricky Gervais was goddamn cheeky, he planned on doing an Edinburgh show, and asked if he could use the Castle as his venue. I am sure that he was joking, but the Scots Guard agreed, and this became Ricky Central for a month:



I think he is one of the many in GTA IV you can find in the comedy clubs.

Who cares if it's funny? I just hope there are rag doll physics and a fucking bulldozer. YOU PANSY maggot FUCK.

Reviews are in! Stephen Granade asked his four-year old to review it. Check it:

http://granades.com/2008/04/28/a-four-y ... t-auto-iv/

THERE ARE RAG DOLL PHYSICS. I need to get the Molotov Cocktail upgrade before I start burning bodies en masse. I already killed a hooker and gutted her, so that's out of the way.

So far I'm enjoying it. There's a combination of shenmue shit and the missions are pretty palatable so far. I'm still pretty disappointed that I can't get a pink mohawk yet.

I only messed with it for a couple hours. Are you sure this isn't GTA3.4? I mean... awesome, right? Bigger, badder, better? But golly did it feel like I was playing GTA3 again... for the first time!

Did you try the multiplayer yet? I am living through you guys here.

No we don't have live set up yet.

Is it because you don't have room? Because you should get a whole nother room once the original Xbox is gone.

pinback wrote:I only messed with it for a couple hours. Are you sure this isn't GTA3.4? I mean... awesome, right? Bigger, badder, better? But golly did it feel like I was playing GTA3 again... for the first time!

I think it's pretty close. The driving is definitely more slick when you get used to it, there is testament to this in that I beat my first racing mission on the second try. Far too many of the missions are two part fare, so you'll have to get the car for the race if you fail the race, or you'll have to get a cop car before you're allowed to find a guy and do a shoot out and get killed.

The restarting is way more integrated but it still isn't a giant advancement from GTA SA's cab system. What they should have done is put checkmarks in the missions, since they have started making them longer to show off their cover system.

I'm going to do some multiplayer soon and check that out. Cuz I think that's an important thing here.

However the more I mull this over the more I wonder how they could actually produce a GTA 4 rather than a GTA 3.4. I don't even know if it's possible since the overall sandbox and theme of the game is so overriding. Even Bully felt like a Grand Theft Auto game. I really don't think it's a shadow they can leave ever with any of these games. Even games in a similar vein (Mercenaries or Saints Row for example) feel much like GTA 3, and I predict that the sequels to those games will only feel like Mercenaries 1.1 or Saints Row 1.1.

When you have this kind of gameplay that is a combination of many things you can't rely on improving it, because chances are your improvements aren't that meaningful, no one is looking for indepth combat to master. People go into GTA to shoot people, not to be the best at shooting people. The cover system effectively boils down to a simple way to avoid the way you'd normally get wasted in earlier GTAs, from a guy getting too close to you and emptying a clip as you fumble with the controls to pull a gun or run away.

I think I could make an argument that in GTA 1 the 2d and Robotron inspired shooting had more in depth and complex gameplay than the lock on fare of GTA 3.

Similarly no one is coming into GTA IV for complex simulator driving or in depth arcade driving. They're coming in for driving where they can run over people, then jump out of the car and start shooting cops. So I think the fair way to evaluate if the game has progressed isn't to look for Gears of War shooting or Burnout driving, both which would not have made GTA better. You have to judge GTA how good of a bulleted list it gives you for the back of the box.

Well it lets you get less fucking frustrated by the shooting segments, makes driving easier(or better, I dunno), gives you some awesome rag dolls, and it's still GTA.

The only thing I could think they could have added in this respect would be letting me enter more buildings (even if they looked all the same on the inside). I wish they stuck to adding more fun criminal things rather than just taking a rain check on using their brains and just adding a bunch of The Sims shit. I admit it's fucking hard to think of more fun shit for a player to do, but I'd like to think if I was getting a paycheck I'd come up more with than The Sims shit.

So, GTA 3.4 or GTA 4? I have no fucking idea, however it's definitely not as good as it could have been.

Worm wrote:The restarting is way more integrated but it still isn't a giant advancement from GTA SA's cab system. What they should have done is put checkmarks in the missions, since they have started making them longer to show off their cover system.

This right here. What the fuck, Rockstar? Nobody wants to do every single part of a multi-part mission over and over again because they failed on the last segment. Would it kill you to add mission checkpoints? Mafia did that in 2002 and it added immeasurably to the experience. I don't want to drive allllll the way across town again because I accidentally ran over the guy I was supposed to pick up.

I love Grand Theft Auto, but Rockstar needs to listen to its fans.

Honestly, Rockstar needs to employ some common sense. If you need a fan to explain any of this simple shit to you ("add mid mission check points", "add more fun game stuff not the sims shit", "don't make Molotov cocktails cost 500 dollars in game") you're MOTHERFUCKING RETARDED.

I love Rockstar and GTA, however they are either way too fucking full of their own shit (and why wouldn't they be?) or just total fucking idiots. The problem is that the things produced by giant assholes/idiots who are pompous and totally full of themselves can very often turn out to be pretty good. It's just that no one wants to go after the lazy shit that plagues their games in reviews.

EDIT: It's even worse for cinematic heavy fucking SLUGGISH SUPER MISSIONS like Three Leaf Clover, honestly fuck these fucking maggots, I'm going to specially mod whatever console I have just to steal the next game they make.