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The Thread Where We Insert DEFCON In Our Top Games Lists

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 1:58 pm
by pinback
Given our experience with the game the past few weeks, obviously it was a horrendous oversight that DEFCON was left out of both my Top 10 Games of All Time list, and Jonsey's Top 100 Games lists.

In this thread, we'll figure out where it belongs!

Here's my original top 10 list:

10. Pyro II
9. NetHack
8. Super Mario 64
7. Grand Theft Auto III
6. Infocom Game
5. Warcraft III
4. Asteroids
3. Far Cry
2. Rollercoaster Tycoon
1. Civilization IV / GalCiv 2

Where do you put DEFCON, a stylistically brilliant, flawless execution of a fast, simple, yet deceptively deep and engrossing strategy game that anyone can play and enjoy, particularly if you were young and impressionable circa 1983?

I look at #4 and I realize, no, I can't put anything else above Asteroids at this phase of the game. So, that's the "ceiling".

Would I trade my experience with WC3 (or the upcoming SC2, which will immediately go to the top of this list) for DEFCON? Ehh. No. WC3 had such a great feel to it, and was so entertaining for so long, that I just don't think a game as simple as DEFCON can beat it, no matter how unbelievably cool it is.

I'd take it over Pyro II, so it's up to 10 at least. FUCK YOU PYRO II.

I'd never play Nethack again if I could keep my precious DEFCON. You're out, HACK!

Super Mario? An amazing experience! That's a tough one. It basically comes down to who would win in a fight, Mario or Matthew Broderick. Gotta go with Brods. LATER MARIO.

Man. I'm so sick of the fucking GTA games that I really feel like knocking it down too. But until you get sick of them, wow, right? Hmm. Sprawling, unlimited freedom, or a strategy game with like 3 buildings and 5 other units. Know what? Hooray for the little guy. GRAND THEFT FUCK OFF.

So, Infocom or DEFCON? Eh. I can't deny my roots like that. 'Com beats 'CON.

So there you have it.

DEFCON is the 7th best game of all time.









On Jonsey's list it should be #23.

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 2:15 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
On your list I would have it at #5. It's not better than Asteroids, ALTHOUGH immediately after playing Defcon the last two times I played Asteroids, as it is the closest game outside my office. And I did have a better time with DEFCON than the Asteroids games that immediately followed.

That being said, my list is completely out of date and needs to be re-done.

I do appreciate the fact that you inserted it after Warcraft II on mine and ahead of Mr. Do!. The Do! can't get no respect from Pinback! If anything, I had Mr. Do! too low?

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:29 pm
by hygraed
Unfortunately I would not put DEFCON on my top 10 list. Maybe like 12th or something.

10. The World Ends With You
9. Resident Evil 4
8. Mega Man X
7. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
6. A Mind Forever Voyaging
5. Fallout
4. Pokemon Red/Blue
3. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl
2. Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne
1. Deus Ex

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:52 pm
by pinback
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The Do! can't get no respect from Pinback! If anything, I had Mr. Do! too low?
Mr. Do! fucking sucks. A shitty Dig-Dug ripoff that knows how to play a C major scale. WOW. [EDIT: JUST WOW!!]

Personally I think Dig-Dug sucks too, but putting Mr. Do! on there instead of Dig-Dug is like putting Rockaroids RemOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:58 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
It's really not a ripoff.

1. You can move the rocks in Mr. Do!. You can't in Dig Dug.

2. You can complete a level by getting the fruit, killing the unicorns, or getting an extra life. You can only complete a level by killing the monsters or having them run away on you in Dig Dug.

3. Mr. Do! is much more difficult than Dig Dug, and requires more strategy AND skill.

4. Dig Dug is very repetitive. Not so with Mr. Do!, since you have other goals than the zombie-like slog to the end of each level (which is all Dig Dug is).

5. You get stats with Mr. Do!. After every 3 levels it tells you your points, score (for each level) and time spent on each level. After 10 levels, you get a recap of the game so far! It's amazing. It's a feature all arcade games should have!

6. Furthermore, Mr. Do!'s Wild Ride is infinitely better than Dig Dug 2, which is stupid and pointless.

I mean, I can't put pen to paper any better than that. You're really comparing Pong with like a quality, modern-day hockey game if you are comparing Dig Dug and Mr. Do!.

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:07 pm
by pinback
FUCK YOU. First of all, #6 is the only point that carries any weight because even if you gloss up the rancid bag of diarrhea that is Dig-Dug you're still left holding a PILE OF SHIT.

I guess for a Dig-Dug ripofERRRRR-successor it's fine? Kathy and I went to this museum a couple weekends ago where they took the remains of actual humans, "plasticize" the muscle and blood vessels, and put them back together in poses, like one doing archery, one doing dances, and all there is is bone and muscle and blood vessels, and it's really amazing and even a peculiar kind of beautiful, seeing these remains presented in such striking ways, but the fact remains that they're STILL FUCKING DEAD.

The best argument I could give, though, is to refer to your OWN REVIEW of it in your Top 100 thread, where the best thing you appear to be able to say about it is "HURR IT FUNNY WHEN MONSTER GO BOOM!! ERRM!! /DROOL ON SELF".

I had something else to say but I forget, so I guess I'll just say "bag of diarrhea" again.

BAG OF DIARRHEA

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:43 pm
by CO
pinback wrote:Kathy and I went to this museum a couple weekends ago where they took the remains of actual humans, "plasticize" the muscle and blood vessels, and put them back together in poses, like one doing archery, one doing dances, and all there is is bone and muscle and blood vessels, and it's really amazing and even a peculiar kind of beautiful, seeing these remains presented in such striking ways, but the fact remains that they're STILL FUCKING DEAD.
I talked with the guy who sets up the lighting for that show. He was at the bar at the Strathallen in rochester and thought he was being cute to describe his job as "I sell dead asians". The company apparently gets most of its bodies from china where they don't bother with things like consent or donation cards.

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:40 pm
by Worm
Did I ever make a top ten list here?

1. Torment
2. Drod
3. Godhand
4. DMC 3
5. Baldur's Gate 2
6. Rising Zan Samurai Gunman
7. Dead Rising
8. Mercenaries 2
9. ADOM
10. UO

Top tenning from the list.

Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:28 pm
by Ice Cream Jonsey
Didn't Mercenaries 2 JUST come out? You will regret putting it so high. I had Resident Evil at #7 before I gave it some "cool off" time.

And I will never, ever stop thinking of the Mechwarrior series when I see the game Mercenaries. I am old.

Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:04 pm
by pinback
Worm wrote: 8. Mercenaries 2
Gamespot wrote: Mercenaries 2 is filled with bugs and glitches that are unacceptable in a retail release. Even if it were possible to overlook the broken elements, you're still left with abysmal AI, repetitive mission structure, unsatisfying weapons, and a huge world without much to do.

Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:15 pm
by Worm
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Didn't Mercenaries 2 JUST come out? You will regret putting it so high. I had Resident Evil at #7 before I gave it some "cool off" time.

And I will never, ever stop thinking of the Mechwarrior series when I see the game Mercenaries. I am old.
Yeah I just sort of threw it together. You can swap Mercs 2 with RE4 I guess if you wanted, or Morrowind whatever.

Also the bitching about bugs in Mercs 2 is totally trivial because the game has absolutely no fucking consequences. If you lose rep you can gain it back in a second, if your guy dies, you really don't lose anything, etc, etc, etc.

I guess each fucking sped game reviewer is so proud and he realized it's a buggy game that he can't realize that it doesn't fucking matter if it's buggy or not. Furthermore fucking Ninja Gaiden 2 is just as buggy but every one of these mealy mouthed motherfuckers gave that a 70 or 80 because they think restarting a game over and over again makes them hardcore.