Jolt Country

The Pandora looks like this:



It is a handheld gaming system that solves some problems. It's made by some people that worked on the GP2x and GP32.

I have purchased two GP2x devices. They're okay. I guess. The first one I left in the bathroom at work. Some piece of shit stole the fucking thing (the irony) and I am positive it was part of the janitorial staff, since I was the last person to leave on a Friday, the first person in the next Saturday, and the only people who would have had access to the lavatory was the cleaning crew. gg assholes, I hope figuring out what the hell it was provided no end of smoke fizzing out your pea-sized brains.

I bought a replacement, and that's on the fritz. I didn't particularly like the thumbpad on it, so when I got my iPhone, well, that was pretty much the end of my interest in the Gamepark Holdings line of devices.

The GP2x could run DOSbox, but not really run it, because... come on, you need a keyboard. And a pointing device. And it's probably possible to make those things go on it, but I couldn't get it to run the PC version of Lode Runner at an acceptable speed. And Lode Runner is a very tiny .com file.

That brings us to this Pandora device. First of all, that's a terrible name: the Pandora music service exists on the Internet, and people just want to type the name of your device into a search window and go from there. With an almost infinite number of nouns, I don't get why there was any repetition. But the Pandora portable gaming device DOES seem to have a keyboard, and it's already running an Amiga emulator.

Here are some FAQ-like bits on its website:

How powerful is it?
It is by far the most powerful handheld in the world both in terms of raw CPU power and 3D graphics capability, it will be able to handle things such as Firefox3 or Quake3 with ease.

When and where can I buy it?
There are a small number of Pandoras left from the first batch - if you are interested in buying one please email openpandorasales@gmail.com.

How much will it cost?
It's $330[.]

What is the device designed for?
It is designed as an ultra portable open source computer with gaming controls, it is very small, around about the same size as a DS. It can easily fit in your pocket.

That's cool. The $330 price point is -- well, we've done this before, getting all smug about what things should and shouldn't cost. Yes, it's more than an Xbox 360. But who knows, with the sort of libraries this thing might be able to play from day one in emulation, it just might be cooler.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yes, it's more than an Xbox 360. But who knows, with the sort of libraries this thing might be able to play from day one in emulation, it just might be cooler.

I routinely shit out things cooler than an Xbox 360, so that's really kinda damning with faint praise there.

Bruce

For 330 bucks you might as well just get a fucking netbook, especially since now you'll be seeing them for very cheap. I've seen the A150 dip from the MSRP of 329.99 to 220 and 199 recently on Tigerdirect, they're refurbished sure, though they do what you want, and don't look like a fucking tricorder reject.

Have you ever been caught with your father's dick in your mouth? Because I think that's about the shame you're gonna feel when someone sees you using this thing. You'll be constantly referred to as Johnny Mnemonic.

I beg you, as someone whose life is already totally beyond recovery, don't buy this fucking thing. You think the guys who used to host Caltrops fat finger the keyboard a lot? Look at that fucking thing! How is that going to facilitate faster typing than on your iphone (which I'm sure can run DOSbox)? I just do not get the appeal with this, I had one friend rave and rave about how great the thing was, and it was unfortunately really hard to find so he couldn't get it.

I just cannot get why someone would buy what is essentially a LAPTOP that looks like it came out of a cereal box, when they could buy a FOR REAL laptop, and have added functionality of it being a fucking laptop. I mean how portable do you need Loderunner to be? Really?

I have a long history with the Pandora. I was one of the original 500 people to pre-order the unit in the fall of 2008. It's a great story. I think the total was $370 via PayPal. They held on to everybody's money for a few months and then decided they couldn't do PayPal so they refunded everybody's money. Of course this was then the market was going crazy and so my refund was $290. Yes, it cost me $80 basically for nothing. Then they changed the rules and said no more PayPal OR Credit Cards -- all pre-orders were to be done through either International Bank Transfers, Checks, or Money Orders. At that point I just said screw it.

With the money I was going to spend on the Pandora I bought an Acer Aspire Netbook, a Nintendo DS, and a flash card so I can play every single Nintendo DS game.

look like a fucking tricorder reject.

Have you ever been caught with your father's dick in your mouth?

looks like it came out of a cereal box

Damn! These are the best one liners I have seen here in WEEKS!

THE
FULL SIZED
KEYBOARD
AARDVARK

BREAKING NEWS They buckled, and are changing the name of the device. Pandora no longer!




















They are now calling it the last.fm