Jolt Country

I am sad to say that red onions have been traditionally under represented in my kitchen. I have typically only eaten them in salads, but they kick ass raw on all kinds of sandwiches and are delicious fried up with eggs. I resolve to use them more often.

I've got some going but never having done them before, don't know when to dig em up.

Well, something is clearly going on here that is far more sinister than we have been led to believe. I'm supposed to just accept this, then? Just accept this?

I was out on Wednesday night, and the subject of red onions came up, briefly. Both my dining companion and I agreed that they were terrible, and served no purpose in the modern-day culinary experience.

And 24 hours later, I see this post here? I know that given enough time, space and failed relationships on my part, something like this was bound to happen, but I have serious doubts about this! (waves hands)

(waves hands some more)

ALL OF THIS!!!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Both my dining companion and I agreed that they were terrible, and served no purpose in the modern-day culinary experience.

This is outrageous. What other onion is mild enough to eat raw in reasonable amounts, with a more lovely purple tone to add a splash of color to any dish?

Yellow/brown onions are for cooking. White onions, they're a nice balance, but red? If you want fresh, delicate, delicious oniony goodness in your dish, you really needn't look too much further past the red onion, surely the finest of all onions.

I'm willing to hear arguments on the subject, because I possess an open mind and a hot desire for substansitive communications, but my kneejerk reaction is to FUCK your red onions.

I think if you do not like red onions, you do not like onions. Which is fine! Some people do not like onions.

But liking onions AND not liking red onions? That's like... "Umm, I like gangster movies, but the Godfather sucked."

"I'm a military history buff, except for 1939-1945. UGHH!!"

"I like breathing, but AIR? OMG EWW??"

Aren't red onions akin to a garnish? I've seen them in food and stuff, but I've only eaten them in salads. Most of the time they sit with the pickle slices and parsley and the server takes them away.


THE
GOODBYE
YELLOW BRICK
ONIONS
AARDVARK

pinback wrote:I think if you do not like red onions, you do not like onions. Which is fine! Some people do not like onions.

The gal I went on the dates with doesn't want to go on any more, so I can go back to having no opinion either way on red onions. Phew! It was a good first 35 years for red onions & me, then some shaky times and now back to another 35 years of not even thinking about each other. AS IF A RED ONION CAN THINK.

I just wanted to let everyone know: I still am back to having no opinion about red onions.

I did enjoy Ben's military history line. ^__^

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'm willing to hear arguments on the subject, because I possess an open mind and a hot desire for substansitive communications, but my kneejerk reaction is to FUCK your red onions.

Kneejerk?

Jonsey, if you're fucking onions I think your knee is not the part that's jerking, otherwise you've got some major physiological issues!

(Insert scene from the Star Trek movie where Kirk disables a large alien attacker in prison by kneecapping him, and wonders why he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Another alien informs Kirk that not all aliens have their genitals in the same place as humans,)

pinback wrote:I think if you do not like red onions, you do not like onions. Which is fine! Some people do not like onions.

I met a girl online who was actually alergic to onions. Damn shame, onion rings are delicious. It's one of the few things to recommend Burger King over McDonalds. BK has both, MickeyD's only has fries.

Fortunately MCD doesn't have the McRib and onion rings, or I might end up moving there.

Tdarcos wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'm willing to hear arguments on the subject, because I possess an open mind and a hot desire for substansitive communications, but my kneejerk reaction is to FUCK your red onions.

Kneejerk?

Jonsey, if you're fucking onions I think your knee is not the part that's jerking, otherwise you've got some major physiological issues!

(Insert scene from the Star Trek movie where Kirk disables a large alien attacker in prison by kneecapping him, and wonders why he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Another alien informs Kirk that not all aliens have their genitals in the same place as humans,)

Do you have any red onions? Like, right now.

Tdarcos wrote:It's one of the few things to recommend Burger King over McDonalds.

Also the hamburgers.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Do you have any red onions? Like, right now.

Let's see,

• * a bag of condoms I got free from the Prince George's County Health Department when they visited the homeless shelter last year

• * a bottle of Viagra my doctor gave me from the free samples they give out after I asked him for some

uh, sorry, no onions. Nobody's giving them away.

a bag of condoms

a bottle of Viagra

red onions

the McRib and onion rings

'Shoot, a guy could have a pretty good time in Vegas with this stuff.



THE
RIDE THE BOMB
ALL TEH WAY DOWN TO THE
ONION FIELD
AARDVARK

Tdarcos wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Do you have any red onions? Like, right now.

Let's see,

• * a bag of condoms I got free from the Prince George's County Health Department when they visited the homeless shelter last year

• * a bottle of Viagra my doctor gave me from the free samples they give out after I asked him for some

uh, sorry, no onions. Nobody's giving them away.

Seems to me if they didn't hand out the Viagra, they could save the money on condoms, too.

Flack wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Do you have any red onions? Like, right now.

Let's see,

• * a bag of condoms I got free from the Prince George's County Health Department when they visited the homeless shelter last year

• * a bottle of Viagra my doctor gave me from the free samples they give out after I asked him for some

uh, sorry, no onions. Nobody's giving them away.

Seems to me if they didn't hand out the Viagra, they could save the money on condoms, too.

Viagra is for 50-year-old white guys like me with erectile dysfunction and type-2 diabetes. And as I pointed it out, I got it from my doctor, not from the Health Department.

When I was at the homeless shelter, there was a guy who was either Puerto Rican or Spanish. There was me. The other 28 guys were black and none of the other 29 was older than 30, most were under 25. They are the ones who are habitually having unprotected sex and the idea is to try to stop this before they get STDs. Plus other education to try to stop them from using drugs that either require them to use needles, or can cause them to get high and engage in risky practices.

I'm going to need Viagra if I keep reading about homeless people's dick problems.

AArdvark wrote:

a bag of condoms

a bottle of Viagra

red onions

the McRib and onion rings

'Shoot, a guy could have a pretty good time in Vegas with this stuff.

"Let the record show I am smiling at Aardvark." Yes, he could, couldn't he? :)

But we'd never know, would we?

Flack wrote:I'm going to need Viagra if I keep reading about homeless people's dick problems.

That's the point, Flack. These homeless guys were virile and getting laid, their dicks didn't have any problems! Otherwise the Health Department wouldn't be having to try to get these guys to stop doing risky sex practices.