Jolt Country

This is only out for the PS2 at this point, right? Square's soft is so laughably useless it ought to head up a list of Net Crimes.

I came across a spoiler as to how the game ends which made me more interested in it than I would otherwise be, but not so interested that I would feel OK in buying it for the PS2, as I just don't end up sitting in front of the TV and playing games that much.

the later fina Fantasy games are upsetting. At the end, I mean. Looking at FF8 as an example; you get really attached to these 8-students-or-so. You know them, they're cool character. You've been through 200 hours of playtime together, and know them intimetley through their cutscenes (I can't spell intimatley).

And then it just ended. And you know you'll never see the same characters again.

but now what's coming out? FFX-2. Annoying. Why the hell didn't 8 get a 2? I'm annoyed at that. And does that make it FF12? I"M SO CONFUSED!

...So you're saying that FF 10 is or isn't available for the PC?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:...So you're saying that FF 10 is or isn't available for the PC?

Uh - yes?

I don't know, but I have read a book on the subject.



Oh... Hi, George.

OK. I have found no evidence that FF X was ever released on the PC. Because there were 45 views and a few posts that, while all enormously unhelpful and/or misleading (including posts, apparently, by George Broussard and Scott Miller from 3D Realms, which, while appreciated, kind of explains why Duke Nukem 3D is taking seven years to make), I am going to spoil the end of the game for everyone [url=http://TidusDiesInTheEndandthusmakeshimatragicfigureandmereallywanttoplaythegameandpleasenobodyspoilFF7inretaliation.com]right now.[/url]

OK, so it's PS2 only. I have a PS2. Goddammit -- look you rubes, should I get this game or not? It's $40. I don't care how biased you are or aren't. There's got to be SOMEONE within the sound of my voice who can tell me it's the best game evar or the worst game evar. I need information!!

Never played it.
Send me a Blockbuster rental coupon and an SASE and I'll send you a copy...

I don't have a modded Playstation yet, though, bro.

I have no real problem with buying the game with real money if it's worth it. But unfortunately I read something since my last post that went like this:

"Final Fantasy 8 for the PC was the only version that you could hit a key to skip through battle animation"

...which doesn't fill me with joy. That's the thing I hate, hate, HATE about console RPGs (and what I hate about Anachronox, too, which is really a non-console RPG) -- if I see a spell animation once, that's all I need to see it. It's not like in the Baldur's Gate games where the amount of time it takes to cast a spell is part of tactics. Argh, I'm talking myself out of getting this game.


I do need to send you some DVDs if the Tick transfer is going to go down. Unfortunately, I would be extremely surprised if Walrustitty tossed the salad and got those CDs with Tick episodes to you in a timely manner. Not that I blame him, or anything, but you guys all only seem to get together when I am in town. So big projects like that tend to get sent to the back burner.

The back burner? Heh heh heh.

Yeah, it's rare that I see any of you motherfuckers except for Dukematch time (or whatever it's called nowadays, "SitaroundandwatchpeopleplayPS2Match")

But, if I have access to said content, it will be burnt with such fury and blazingly fast turnaround time that it is very possible you may recieve el DVD para Tick before you even send it out.

I rented this being a fan of the series. I in the past have enjoyed all of the Final Fantasies up to six (three in the states) Seven greatly dissapointed me for some reason ... maybe it is that the "console RPG" is totally unecessary when games like Fallout can be made ... It also may be that your armor was a fucking bangle. I just didn't play ANY after that ... then I try (In a leap of faith) FFX. Here I will regale you in sickening detail every gastrointestinal movement that occured during that leap.

I went to Block Buster to pick it up and went home ... happy as hell. So I play ... play play ... play there is some crap ... fight ... fight ... fight fight ...

Then I have to get sticks right? To make a fire ... then I fight something else and some googled girl speaking a different language helps me. Then I'm on a boat. Then my cartoons came on so I quit. I was putting in the disc a second time ... then I didn't and went to play Daggerfall. Verdict ... don't even try it.

I ended up buying it before I saw that message.

Hey, the box promises real time expression. I can't get that out of most people in real life, so this will be an upgrade for me.

Course, right now my brother is playing NFL2K3 on the PS2 and I am taking screen grabs of the "Chemical Existence" mod for Half-Life. So though I won, I really lost. I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, well... you know.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:[...]the thing I hate, hate, HATE about console RPGs (and what I hate about Anachronox, too, which is really a non-console RPG) -- if I see a spell animation once, that's all I need to see it. It's not like in the Baldur's Gate games where the amount of time it takes to cast a spell is part of tactics.

This has been the sticking point for me on any number of RPGs. They bring back that "I'm a rat in a box in B.F. Skinner's lab, pressing levers for food pellets" feeling that I remember from the original Bard's Tale. The graphics are better, sure, but the biggest difference between Bard's Tale/Dragon Wars/Wizardry et. al. and members of the Final Fantasy [insert integer here] Series is that Final Fantasy didn't make me bust out the graph paper for more tedious maze mapping. It was still a mite tedious, though.

Now, compare this with SSI's old school "Gold Box" games, including the delightful Curse of the Azure Bonds, or the joy that was the original Wasteland. Heavier on storyline, fewer time-consuming animations, plot twists that weren't ultimately telegraphed from way the hell away -- the DNA of these early gems wound up in Fallout, like shrews evolving into tigers.

DISCLAIMER: I have not personally finished any of the Final Fantasies, and thus it is possible that my early tedium would have morphed into Zen-like acceptance with exposure and practice. But I doubt it.

Final Fantasy Junkies have a cultlike reverence for every wart in their game of choice, and they have tried to convince me to abandon reason and join in the praise of Squaresoft's every design flaw. E.g.: the damn movie that made no sense at all and apparently had nothing whatsoever to do with any of the games, in the exact way that the games have nothing to do with each other.

This always reminds me of the Macintosh Zealot in the pod to the right of mine, who incessantly tries to convince me that any OS which runs on an x86 is inherently inferior to the Macintosh, and how the G4 processor is by definition superior to an Athlon because it runs at half the clockspeed. Or how all benchmarks everywhere are clearly weighted in favor of the PCs because the PCs always seem to win despite being inferior, ugly beige boxes.

Flaws and virtues of Macintoshes, Console RPGs, and whatever else aside: I'm not gonna drink the damn Kool-Aid.

This what I love about PTX. You get more commentable CONTENT in one of his posts than in about 7 or 8 of... (well, I'll pick "Ben" because he not only doesn't post here any longer, but apparently abandoned his own site after two days well) Ben's.

RIDE THE SNAKE! HERE WE GO!

The graphics are better, sure, but the biggest difference between Bard's Tale/Dragon Wars/Wizardry et. al. and members of the Final Fantasy [insert integer here] Series is that Final Fantasy didn't make me bust out the graph paper for more tedious maze mapping. It was still a mite tedious, though.

Y'know, it's odd -- when I was first playing the Bard's Tale (the first one) I *hated* mapping. In fact, I wouldn't/didn't map -- I tried memorizing the level and when that didn't work I got ahold of the hint book for it.

But when I went back to play BT2 a few years afterwards (which is also a few years ago) I didn't mind so much and in fact looked forward to it. I brought home some graph paper from work or college or wherever and went at it. But the thing was, I knew what I was getting myself in for, and it was my choice to go back, and I knew that all the dungeons were 22x22 (knowledge I didn't have when playing the first one).

I hate mapping in all other ventures. In IF games, in other CRPGs, in real life. Mapping can lick me. But there was just something about BT2. Ah, well.

Final Fantasy Junkies have a cultlike reverence for every wart in their game of choice, and they have tried to convince me to abandon reason and join in the praise of Squaresoft's every design flaw.

Yes. If I go into a FF game thinking that I am more than a spectator, I get frustrated. Here's an example from last night:

1) Load up FF 10.

2) Watch the opening intro. Normally I skip it, but I am playing this for its story, so I watch.

3) Start the game.

4) The same intro that I just watched is BACK and I cannot skip out of it. I slowly count to ten. It's long. LOOONNNG. And I have had to sit through it twice now. Oh, and what goes on in it? Tidus makes a bunch of faces. Jesus.

5) Start the game. Talk to some people. Tidus is apparently a "blitzball" star. Now this is kinda cool; I would like to play blitzball.

6) While engaged in non-interactive blitzballishness, something attacks his city. This is an enormous failing of the design -- it wouldn't make "sense" in the story line if, when I as the player, try making Tidus play blitzball and have him suck at it. However, if the outcome of the game is not in doubt (the city blows up) then it DOES NOT MATTER how well I do when controlling him! Dammit, how did these guys not see that? Why go out of their way to make me watch a long cut-scene? If the Buffalo Bills can come from behind by 35 points to beat the Houston Oilers, then Tidus could have presumably come from behind by whatever deficit I would have give him. Narrative sense is still cohesive. He could even say at one point, "I was getting creamed, but I was gonna pull it out in the end." (OK, that particular quote can probably be taken in two ways, but still.)

7) Some fag with Bono glasses enters the scene, and I try to move him or Tidus when the game lets me. They somehow get to be sharing the exact same space. I cannot get them to go anywhere. So I have to turn the game off and get some sleep. Oh, and because of the shitty save feature, I have to go through all of the above tomorrow.

The beginning of Final Fantasy games are an exercise in willpower and patience. I am not going to bitch too much because I knew exacly what I was getting myself in for, and I knew that they honestly expect you to spend 45 consecutive minutes when you first get the game playing it before you can save, and if you get to minute 43 and have an emergency, well, hope you leave your PS2 on!! LOLOLOL. That's always a good idea.

I do wonder if my copy caused the bug that had Tidus mounting that other fruit, leaving both unable to move. I dunno. I bought it used, as it was the only copy that the EB out here had, and the edge of the disc isn't perfect. When I worked there if you had a used copy that wouldn't work right they'd exchange it for a new one, but I don't know if they still do that.

PTX has some good points. Unfortunately (because maybe it really is my loss), when it comes down to it, I'm on the console-style RPG side of the fence. Those are valid gripes for Final Fantasy, but unfortunately, that seems to be what Squaresoft is going for. When I saw a guy fighting the last dude on FF7 and each attack would take like five minutes to execute, I knew that game was not for me.
I never played much of the FF games, partly because I'd feel that I'd want to start at the beginning and partly because hey, most of them have absolutely nothing to do with eachother anyways.
Still, I haven't had that much fun playing computer-style RPGs, except for maybe Phantasie II and III and I'm not sure if they count (actually, I also liked Dungeon Master, but I'm pretty sure I could never play that again). When I played Wasteland (years and years after it's release), I never even played past the beginning because I figured there must be some way to get out of the cave without killing the kid's dog, so I was missing the best way to handle things.
So I appreciate the console linearity, and when they give enough side quests and things to do like in Anachronox or Chrono Trigger, all the better. Also, in Anachronox, I thought I had found some way to skip through longer magic attacks but maybe that's my imagination.

:: Smacks hand into his face :: .... You bought it? Why didn't you rent it first? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Oh sweet christ dying slowly on his cross, someone else has been lost. I managed to sit down longer than you and let me give you a glimpse into the future Scrooge style to hope it is going to make you cry, run, and break that disc ... or atleast return it.

Ghost of Playing Final Fantasy X Past: You've mucked through stupid movies, seen some fag in glasses, and quit the game because of a stupid ass save function.

Ghost of Playing Final Fantasy X Present: Right, hopefully the game is sitting alone where it's evil cannot grow.

Ghost of Playing Final Fantasy X Future: Soon, you will reach battles that are put in obviously just to keep you from getting too bored. After that there is more story nonsense. You are then thrown in a area where you need to find two items to make a fire so you don't freeze to death which attempts to add ambience to the game. Then a BOSS character appears who can only be finished in a special manner. Then you have to end up in a town ... eventually (after being bored more) You have to find someone which takes forever ... then you get pushed in a pool ... then I quit. Know why I quit? Because I saw a grave with this on it "ROBB SHERWIN" ... get it? Like in Scrooge?

7) Some fag with Bono glasses enters the scene, and I try to move him or Tidus when the game lets me. They somehow get to be sharing the exact same space. I cannot get them to go anywhere. So I have to turn the game off and get some sleep. Oh, and because of the shitty save feature, I have to go through all of the above tomorrow.

As it turned out, this happened because the disc was dirty. I tried it two times when I got home last night and it behaved in exactly the same way. I cleaned the thing, popped it in and was off cutting through plants and bugs and shit in... well, I'm not going to say "no time" because there's ELEVEN FUCKING MINUTES of cut-scenes you need to watch before you attack your first monster. And you cannot make any real choice before that time.

But again. I remain calm. Serenity now. I knew what I was getting myself into. Wait, one last thing: they non-chalantly drop a "save station" or "save gem" or whatever they call it after your first big fight. Bitches need to at least *mention* the save station. Point it out -- at least the first one. I almost ran right past it.

For better or worse, Final Fantasy games are all about the pretty pictures. I played through 2/3s of FFIX on a PSX emulator just because everything looked so fucking cool.
There's was buggerall gameplay to speak of and the plot made about as much sense as my bowel movements, but damn. The game was a few years old by this point, and the resolution wasn't the best, but the sheer imagination that went into the way everything looked just had me absolutely enthralled.

I wish someone who had any concept of plotting or gameplay or coherent setting would hire away Square's art department.