Jolt Country

Let me know, so I can go all apeshit on the last episode at you.

Here's my story, sad but true.

When Lost first came out, I missed it. It wasn't until episode 5 or 6 that it caught my radar, and by then it was too late to jump in, so I decided to pick up the DVD box set at the end of Season 1. Unfortunately I couldn't find it used, so I waited. By then we were in Season 2, people were going crazy over the series, and I felt left out. I've been wanting to be a part of Lost for some time now, and never knew when to jump in.

So, I started last night, with the final episode. Yup. I watched the last episode first. Hopefully there will ne a newsgroup flood soon with the entire series, and I can watch all 120 episodes over the summer. Well, 119 episodes. I already saw the last one. I must say iy was pretty entertaining and I've been surfing the web this morning, reading people's analysis of the final episode, which someone clues me in as to what was going on.

I'll CLUE YOU IN: We waited through 125 hours of MYSTERY UPON MYSTERY upon SCI FI CLICHE upon SCI FI CLICHE to finally learn what the island was and what the answer to all these mysteries was, and instead what we learned was that RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPECIAL!!!

I'm guessing it goes without saying that this thread will contain spoilers ...

... that being said, I thought everybody knew that the island was limbo. I mean, I know that's an over simplified explanation, but even during the first season I heard people saying, "yeah, I think they're stuck in limbo." So I didn't find it particularly jarring last night.

I must say, even though I wasn't a dedicated "Lostie", I love when events like this happen. Like, I remember seeing the first Blair Witch and then everybody ran to the Internet to talk about it and discuss it and stuff. So I am enjoying "all of this" even if I wasn't all in to the show that much.

The island was NOT limbo. Only the "sideways" world in Season 6 was limbo. The stuff on the island actually happened.

There is significance to that! If the stuff that had happened on the island the previous six years had been metaphor or whatever, it still would be completely unacceptable, but then perhaps it'd be easier to discard that part of the story and not have to have all these mysteries solved.

But it was NOT metaphor, it was what was REALLY HAPPENING, and what was REALLY HAPPENING had lots of interesting cool mysteries, which since the first episode, we wanted to know what they meant! Why they were happening!

In the end, most of those loose ends were just left to lie there, and we're left with a resolution of "well, it's a hole in the ground where evil would come out of, which would be bad, and by the way, don't ask why all that weird stuff happened, it just did because the island is just wacky like that" which is THOROUGHLY ASS-TASTIC AND UNACCEPTABLE IN EVERY WAY.

But no, the island itself was not limbo. I'd tell you what it WAS, but the writers didn't bother figuring that out.

It sounds like a complete waste of time for everyone involved.

I'm also extremely angry that one of the main characters on a show about people trapped on an island is "Jack." HURF DURP SCOTTY SHOULD BE A GIRL. Here are some fucking names you don't get to pick from if you're making a retarded show about people trapped on an island:

1) Gilligan
2) Simon
3) The Skipper
4) Piggy
5) Ginger
6) Wilson
7) The Main Fucking Character of Lord of the Flies

What a bunch of hacks.

(I've never seen a single episode of Lost, by the way. I couldn't tell you anything about it. But Christ, everything I've ever heard of it sounds comically retarded.)

I might watch the first season or something if, like Flack says, it gets dumped to Usenet. Now that I know none of the mysteries are explained I guess there's no reason to not watch the first season (which I've heard is very good. But is it only good because there was a basic expectation that there'd eventually be answers?).

Most of the complaints I've read regard the lack of answers to specific questions, like the giant bird and the polar bear. And like I said, if everybody in the world who were entitled to complain about the ending stood in line I would be at the very end of it, but I can see wanting to know the answers to those types of things.

The last two shows I really got hooked on were The Office and the Big Bang Theory. It's seen a while since I got hooked on a good drama. I hope that new Star Wars series will be it but ... sigh, after being kicked in the nards by Lucas so many times, I'm not getting my hopes up.

Flack wrote:Most of the complaints I've read regard the lack of answers to specific questions, like the giant bird and the polar bear.

The entire show was about those questions, and those like them. They spent most of the run of the entire show throwing out little (and sometimes big) mysteries like that, and you kept watching because you had faith in these writers, you had a sense that they knew the whole puzzle, and were doling out the pieces one at a time, and we just ate 'em up, because we knew at the end, all the pieces would fit and it would have all been worth it.

Instead, it turns out that the writers had no idea, and were just making up stuff and throwing it into the show because it looked or sounded cool, so by the end, left with nothing approaching a cohesive whole, they did a maggot's End-Around, and just said "ahh, you know, it was about the CHARACTERS the whole time, not the puzzle!"

Know who's allowed to say that their shit was about the characters?

1. Shows that didn't build up the entire fan base by weaving what was theoretically a brilliant mystery narrative leading to the payoff of all payoffs.

2. Shows with good enough writing and acting chops to make you really value the characters over the mystery and mythology.

KNOW WHICH SHOW WASN'T EITHER OF THOSE?

The first two seasons were maybe the finest two seasons of television I've ever seen. I was hooked, along with everyone else.

By the fourth season, I started to get the idea I'd been duped, but like so many others, I stuck with it, because Christ, we've come this far, let's at least get to the end. Let's at least see the master plan.

God dammit.

PS: YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE NUMBERS. HOW MANY HOURS OF OUR LIVES DID WE GET TEASED WITH THOSE CRAZY, MYSTERIOUS NUMBERS? I WILL REMEMBER THEM UNTIL I DIE. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Of all of their sins, not explaining the numbers was the greatest. Not because, whoa, they're numbers, but because for the bulk of the first two seasons, that was the BIG MYSTERY. THESE NUMBERS WERE THE KEY TO EVERYTHING.

And they just left it alone to die, like a starving puppy.

I realize I'm going all Kathy Bates in Misery about this. But goddammit. GOD DAMMIT.

Nobody wins but the sponsors.

I guess I will wait for the inevitable "Guide to Lost" DVD which will explain all those things. Obviously they couldn't explain them on the old DVD commentary tracks. Maybe they will release the entire series again on DVD, this time with new commentaries explaining everything. That, I would buy.

I pre-ordered the first season of Southpark on DVD. When it arrived it talked about a commentary track, but there wasn't one. Warner Bros. nixed it from the final product (they later re-instated it). For people who got a copy that didn't have the commentary tracks, you could buy additional CDs that contained the commentary tracks. I guess the idea was you would put on the CD and the DVD at the same time and listen to them both.

Lost should do that, but via iTunes. Put out a commentary track for every episode for .99 cents. That's $120 per fan, so not a bad deal. Then you could watch the old episodes and listen along on your ipod.