[NANO-REVIEW] Starcraft 2

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:00 pm

Starcraft 2 is fucking fantastic.

If you liked the original Starcraft, you must purchase this product immediately.

If you have ever liked any RTS in history, or have never played an RTS but are curious about what everyone in the US was doing in the '90s, and everyone in South Korea has been doing for the last 12 years, you must purchase this product immediately.

"Flawless" is a word that gets tossed around a lot. Here, watch: It's absolutely flawless.

I will be restructuring my top ten games of all time list later. Sneak preview: All ten will now be SC2.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 4:47 pm

None of you fucking nerds went out there and bought the most important software product of the last 20 years yet? What the Christ?

"NUMBER OF FRIENDS: 0" - battle.net

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 6:05 pm

Funny anecdote:

My son, who has been looking forward to this game for quite some time now, pre-ordered it a while ago. He stands in line for it for a half hour and when he gets to the counter the clerk says: 'Yeah, you have two copies reserved.'

TWO copies, you ask?

Yes, he pre ordered it a month ago and then there's the other one he reserved THREE YEARS AGO and totally forgot about!

Anyway, I haven't seen him in a week so I assume he's holed up in front of his computer with this.

THE
I'LL GET AROUND TO IT
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:21 pm

Aside: Why does anyone preorder anything anymore?

Philip Baker Hall · Post by **Philip Baker Hall** » Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:46 am

Is it better than Magnolia?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:29 am

pin · Post by **pin** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:44 pm

Well, maybe.

SC2 REVIEW COMING SOON, once I finish the campaign. I'm over halfway there in less than a week, so we should be close.

I am going to rip some asses in it, too, so stay tuned for that.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:25 pm

This site will live again after this weekend.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:16 am

Pinback's full review is here: http://www.caltrops.com/review0062.php

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 6:10 am

Great review, Pinback. I would say my interest level before reading your review was 0% and now it's ... well it's still pretty low, but it's higher than it was.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 6:11 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:This site will live again after this weekend.

Stop teasing us!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:26 pm

Flack wrote:Great review, Pinback. I would say my interest level before reading your review was 0% and now it's ... well it's still pretty low, but it's higher than it was.

This was my goal.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:22 pm

What sucks for me is, these games reward those who play more than others. I know that sounds stupid and babyish but ... for example, I tried that Star Wars MMORPG for a month or so and I could only play once or twice a week, so all the people I ran into quickly out-leveled me and then it wasn't any fun. Maybe I should quit my job and move to Korea.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 9:33 pm

The main user interface on the multiplayer side of things is a big button that says "quick match". This attempts to match you up with a random someone (or someones) at or around your skill level. So it doesn't matter how much you suck, there'll always be people that suck just as much.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 12:13 am

On another note, that's another reason I love it. You always know you can get better, and unlike something like learning the chess openings, there's a much clearer, quicker path to getting better. Not a lot better, but better. You can see results within a couple of days. And each layer of the onion you peel, you see more ways of getting better.

I feel nothing but hope every time I lose a game. Because the goal of improving doesn't seem so far away.

I dunno, that could just be me.

I will be beginning a new feature here shortly, called "Starcraft 2: From Worse To Bad", which will help t0t4l N00BZ go from sucking completely to only kind of sucking. If you only kind of suck at this game, to me, you've done at least a little homework, which is way more than anyone would normally do for any game ever.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 6:35 am

What I really want to know is...

Are the in-game comments from the NPCs and different units funnier than the first game?

THE
I VOTE WE FRAG THIS
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 6:37 am

Some of them are very funny. I don't know if "funnier". The best line I've heard yet comes from the Firebat, who unfortunately is not in the core multiplayer game.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 6:40 pm

I want an answer.

Is the Firebat asking a question, or making a statement, when he says, "Time to turn up the heat".

I want some goddamn answers!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 8:30 pm

It was a mistake for me to install the trial version so quickly. Are you in Colorado this week, Pinner?

Does anyone else on the forum have a copy of this game? I can contribute to this thread.

Also, the thread on Caltrops about Starcraft 2 almost instantly turned into a round of shitposting. So there's another thing I have to do before the year is out: save my other site. I think most of the regulars that made that place are gone.

RetroRomper · Post by **RetroRomper** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 10:45 pm

I have two or three copies of the trial if anyone needs them... PM me and I'll send the code your way. And it appears that me and Pinback are the only two people on this forum who are in any way fanatical about this (much less the only two denizens who own a full retail copy (I actually own two, so its three retail keys)).