Jolt Country

Every decent-sized town has at least one. One of those "state of mind" joints that everyone says is the best, that always has lines around the corner regardless of the time of day, that people visiting have to make sure to visit at least once, and which is, when you actually pay attention, NOT ALL THAT GREAT!

Here, I'll start with maybe the biggest one of all:

In-n-Out.

Oh my God. The way people clog the goddamn streets winding three-wide across four blocks waiting for the drive-thru at 2 in the goddamn morning, and the way people talk, you'd think the Virgin Mary herself was giving out hummers at this place.

IS IT A GOOD HAMBURGER? Yeah, sure, I guess. There's another chain in SoCal, though, called "The Habit", which nobody ever goes to, and which serves a nearly identical (some, including me, would say superior) product. But oh no, GOTTA GO TO IN-N-OUT, with their long waits and cheerful staff and secret menu items and Bible verses hidden on all the cups and wrappers (true).

I don't get it, man.

I'mma throw out Chick-Fil-A.

For 20 something years around here, if you wanted to eat at Chick-Fil-A, you had to go to the mall. There were no Chick-Fil-A restaurants, only spots at the mall. And nobody went to the mall to just eat Chick-Fil-A -- you ate there because you were at the mall and you were tired of corn dogs and S'Barros.

The two malls around here that had Chick-Fil-A closed down, and so now Chick-Fil-A has begun opening actual restaurants around here. And everybody has been going crazy for them. They opened one in my town about six months ago and people camped out in the parking lot the week before in line. It was the stupidest thing I had ever heard of.

About a week after the excitement died down we got chicken sandwiches from there and, guess what? They were chicken sandwiches, no better (or worse) than any other one I've ever had. Perhaps back when they first opened chicken sandwiches were revolutionary, but today they are not. Burger King, McDonald's, Wendys, Whataburger ... pretty much every burger place I can think of serves chicken sandwiches. By limiting their menu to chicken sandwiches, it's like ... if Taco Bell only served tacos.

The other thing that pisses me off about Chick-Fil-A is that they are closed on Sundays to observe the sabbath. At first I thought that was pretty cool because I thought they meant Black Sabbath and I thought it had something to do with Ozzy biting the head off a chicken. Then I remembered it was a bat and it turns out it's just because Chick-Fil-A thinks that because some people go to church on Sundays, nobody should eat that day. So, boo on them.

I disagree with the above. Just want that on the record. Disagreeing with Flack here. Find any other fast food chicken sandwich that's anywhere close to as good as Chik-fil-A, or however you spell it.

ANYWHERE close. You can't do it. You've listed "Burger King, McDonald's, Wendys, Whataburger", and if you think any of their chicken sandwiches are within a solar system of C-f-A, then sir, we have... no, we don't have anything, you're just crazy.

Thank you for your time.

You know who has a better chicken sandwich than Chick-Fil-A?

Jack in the Box.

BTW, I've only had In-and-Out once (in Vegas) and thought it was okay. I just had a Five Guys burger a couple of months ago and thought it was better.

Neither one exists anywhere near Oklahoma.

The closest In-and-Out to Oklahoma is in Arizona (12 hours). The closest Five Guys is ... hey, only about three hours away. Ooh, and in Wichita, where I will be for a week in December!!

Flack wrote:You know who has a better chicken sandwich than Chick-Fil-A?

Jack in the Box.

This conversation is over.

When ICJ comes to Oklahoma, I am going to set up a blind chicken sandwich taste test.

I mean that the taste test will be blind, not the chickens, or ICJ.