Jolt Country

I want it known that they sell Banquet Pork Patties at the Dollar Tree store in Rockville, Maryland, in Montgomery County. It's next to the Micro Center computer store so I don't visit unless I'm buying some computer items. I live in Prince George's County, and it's a minimum 3 hour each way, two bus and a train trip to get to that Dollar Tree store.

I also want it known that I have not been to that store in over three months if not longer.

I want it known that I currently shop at Family Dollar on Rhode Island Avenue in DC, which does not sell Banquet Pork Patties.

I want it known I shop at the Target, Giant and CVS located at or near The Mall at Prince Georges and none of them sell Banquet Pork Patties.

It should therefore be obvious that I do not have any Banquet Pork Patties, haven't had any in more than three months, and have no means to get any except via a long and tiring trip of a minimum 3 hours each way.

So, to paraphrase Reginald VelJohnson (the black cop) in Die Hard:

I need pork patty joke stopping assistance now! Now, goddammit, now!

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That's a fair request. I won't mention it again.

How do you feel about poultry?

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:That's a fair request. I won't mention it again.

How do you feel about poultry?

I'd have to chicken out on that question, the Family Dollar in DC had a 6-piece Banquet Crispy Chicken box for $5 so I bought that; I'd had it in the freezer for about a week before I used it for two separate meals. I ate 4 pieces in the evening, and the other two for breakfast.

The other thing I'll do sometimes when I go to the Target there is I'll make a side trip to get the #3 (4 pieces, one side - I get mashed potatoes and gravy - and a drink) for $8.99 at the Popeyes at the Mall at Prince Georges.

I thought of something. On the bus route to New Carrolton Metro Station, two-three blocks before the station, there is a KFC store, directly across the street from a Popeyes. I have been considering for some time about taking the opportunity to stop at both, and trying like a 2 piece of each: leg and breast, and see who's better.

Tdarcos wrote:I thought of something. On the bus route to New Carrolton Metro Station, two-three blocks before the station, there is a KFC store, directly across the street from a Popeyes. I have been considering for some time about taking the opportunity to stop at both, and trying like a 2 piece of each: leg and breast, and see who's better.

Can I save you the trip?

Popeye's in better. It is, in fact, SO far superior that it's not even a discussion that needs to happen.

That's just PINBACK'S OPINION, though.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:That's a fair request. I won't mention it again.

The pork patty running gag was mildly humorous at first, but after a while, it became, like most of the things I say here, tedious, unfunny, and boring.

pinback wrote:Can I save you the trip?

Popeye's in better. It is, in fact, SO far superior that it's not even a discussion that needs to happen.

That's just PINBACK'S OPINION, though.

I dearly miss Church's Fried Chicken, it was better than anyone else. Wikipedia says they're still in business, but they closed down every store they had in the Washington, DC metropolitan area several years ago.

pinback wrote:That's just PINBACK'S OPINION, though.

Just like your opinion that Jack in the Box food causes projectile vomiting?

Care to risk that $30 that you aren't going to pay me regarding a bug in Hugo over your claim that Jack-in-the-Box food causes projectile vomiting?

I'll contact the company, they will deny it, of course, then I'll pick several newspapers and TV stations in San Diego, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Dallas (of which there are 37 JITB outlets) and Las Vegas. I'll say I've heard a rumor that Jack-in-the-Box food causes projectile vomiting but it is so common that nobody reports it any more which is why I've seen no news reports. Plus I'll check Health Departments in each county in these area to see if any reports have been made of regular vomiting and/or projectile vomiting due to consumption of Jack-in-the-Box food.

I get any confirmation that there are regular reports of projectile vomiting then I'll send you $30; otherwise if I get none, then you send me $30. Or, you can simply find either the company, a major newspaper or TV station, or a county or state health department that confirms that regular vomiting on a massive scale - more than 10% of their customers, daily - is occurring from the consumption of Jack-in-the-Box food, and once I call and confirm, I'll pay the $30. Otherwise you cough up $30.

Or don't accept the challenge and concede I've busted your joke and you were trying to pull my leg.

I'd like to point out that in the last <s>twenty</s> thirty years where I've bet someone money over an issue, I have lost exactly zero times, and every time they had to pay me for their loss. So I take bets very seriously, and I never bet unless I'm certain to win.

Ready to put your ass and $30 on the line, Chrome Dome?

Within 5 miles of my house there's a KFC, a Church's Chicken, and a Popeye's Chicken. I would say generally speaking that Popeye's is better than Church's, but our Popeye's is connected to a truck stop and so I rarely go there. Within that same radius we also have Chicken Express and Grandy's, both of which are pretty good, and we used to have Chubby's Chicken, but they moved about five miles north.

Eischen's Chicken is about 10 miles away from me. Here's a clip about Eischen's from Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

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Tdarcos wrote:Ready to put your ass and $30 on the line, Chrome Dome?

Well, I dunno what you're talking about, but everything I said is true: Jack in the Box causes projective vomiting 100% of the time it is ingested by anyone. They'll laugh you off the phone for asking because it's like calling NASA and asking if they've heard of the moon.

He's never seen The Big Lebowski, obviously. The scene where they go to the In and Out burger after smashing up the red corvette.

None of them even considered going to Jack inna Box because of the projectile vomiting issue so commonly associated with that restaurant.

Huh, s'prised he didn't know that.


THE
SIMPLY LOGICAL
AARDVARK

By the way somethin':

On my megadiet, which is crushing bitches in the Fatass Challenge, for breakfast/lunch every day, I have a "Cup 'O' Noodles". That tides me over till dinner, more or less.

Cup O' Noodles has about 300 calories.

Turns out...

Know what else has about 300 calories?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

























































This competition is over.

PWN3D!!!!

I made that mistake once. I decided I was going to go on a Ramen diet by eating a pack of Ramen for lunch and another pack for dinner. Problem was, one wouldn't fill me up, so I ended up eating two for lunch and two for dinner. That's when I discovered there are technically two servings in each package, meaning I was having 800 calories at each meal, and my daily intake of sodium in about 4 minutes.

Yeah? Yeah Flack? Did you make that mistake once?

How many pounds you lost this week, pal? Makin' that mistake? Eight pounds? Come in eight pounds under so far, after five days? Did ya?

After a lifetime of trying to lose weight, and at least three times succeeding, the one thing I've learned is: No matter how you successfully lose weight, EVERYONE (as in, 100% of the people you talk to about it) will tell you "you're doing it wrong."

MOST of the time, these are FAT PEOPLE.

ONE "cup o' noodles" is 300 calories, and I have one for "breakfast/lunch", which in case you missed it, means, I HAVE ONE DURING THE TIME PEOPLE USUALLY HAVE TWO MEALS.

Make that mistake.

Make THIS mistake, pal.

Have you found that 300 calories a day is making you cranky?

I'm on "Half Cup of Noodles", by the way.

I am going to check proportions to see if I have already lost more weight than you. (Weighing yourself on Saturday is bullshit, by the way.)

... OK, I have played around with calc.exe for three minutes and I can't find any way to spin what you have done in a way that diminishes your accomplishments. Give me more time.

Obviously, I have never made the mistake of eating one meal for two -- thus the diet.

I'm pretty sure Pinback is in second place, having lost 8 pounds. ICJ lost Clash, for God's sake.

Good, Clash, whom I assumed killed himself, will get the benefit of all the fluids they drained out of him before the embalming.

Tdarcos wrote:

pinback wrote:Can I save you the trip?

Popeye's in better. It is, in fact, SO far superior that it's not even a discussion that needs to happen.

That's just PINBACK'S OPINION, though.

I dearly miss Church's Fried Chicken, it was better than anyone else. Wikipedia says they're still in business, but they closed down every store they had in the Washington, DC metropolitan area several years ago.

There is one along "Colorado Blvd", a road I take lots of times. It is amazing fried chicken, and if left to my own devices, I would eat it every single meal until I keeled over and was buried in the Dumpster outside that self-same Church's Chicken.

pinback wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:Ready to put your ass and $30 on the line, Chrome Dome?

Well, I dunno what you're talking about, but everything I said is true: Jack in the Box causes projective vomiting 100% of the time it is ingested by anyone. They'll laugh you off the phone for asking because it's like calling NASA and asking if they've heard of the moon.

No they won't. Again, 30 bucks says if I call a newspaper or television station in any of these cities I mentioned, they will not reject the call as ridiculous, will take it seriously, state that there has neither been any reports of this nor have they failed to print anything, and, of course, you'd owe me $30 for losing.

In fact, I'm about ready to drop the nuke bomb.