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How To Beat Every Tennis Game Ever Made

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:21 pm
by pinback
This is a new feature I call:

HOW TO BEAT EVERY TENNIS GAME EVER MADE

In this feature, I will explain to you how, without fail, to beat every computer or video tennis game ever made.

HOW TO BEAT EVERY TENNIS GAME EVER MADE:

Step #1: THE SERVE

When it is your serve, whichever side your guy is on, move him as far to the side of the court as the game will allow you. So if it's 0-0, and you're on the right, go as far right as the game lets you.

When you serve, aim the ball as far left as it will allow you.

This makes your serve (which will always be in) go at the sharpest possible angle. The computer will go to return the serve, which will leave him way out of position, which leads to:

Step #2: THE RETURN

Since he is so out of position on the return, you simply have to hit the ball to the opposite side of the court, which in 100% of all tennis games ever made, will be wide open because he's so far out of position.

Step #3: BEATING EVERY TENNIS GAME EVER MADE

This technique makes it impossible for him to break you, so you simply keep playing until you break him, which will happen eventually even if you are otherwise terrible at the game.

You have now beaten every tennis game ever made.

NEXT IN OUR SERIES:

How To Beat Every Football Game Ever Made

(HINT: Short slant-out patterns.)

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:08 pm
by AArdvark
Does this include tennis on the Wii sports? Cause I played that once upon a time and used to be good at it.



THE
FUNNY PLASTIC RACQUET
AARDVARK

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:37 pm
by pinback
Is Wii Sports Tennis one of every tennis game ever made?

I think you have your answer.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:58 pm
by Flack
Tennis is a lot like Tic-Tac-Toe.

"The only winning move is not to play." - WOPR

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:37 pm
by AArdvark
Based on this strategy, would I, as an overfed white guy, be able to defeat Serena Williams?



THE
ONE HAND BEHIND MY BACK
AARDVARK

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:01 pm
by pinback
Is Serena Williams one of Every Tennis Game Ever Made?

I think you have your answer.