All You Can Eat
Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:54 pm
There are places that offer "all you can eat" specials that make sense, and there are places where "all you can eat" specials do not make sense.
Take your average pizza buffet, for example. Back when I worked at Pizza Hut, I had a manager tell me that a large supreme pizza cost $1.80 to make, and $1 of that was cheese. Your average buffet pie has closer to a buck's worth of ingredients on it. If you pay $5 for all you can eat at a pizza joint, unless you manage to put down five large pizzas, they come out ahead and you feel like you got your money's worth. Don't forget the $2 glass of soda, in which you can only put about a dime's worth of drink into. And in the back of the restaurant, the manager is praying that you eat some salad. I doubt a human being could actually eat $5 worth of lettuce in one sitting.
Now take some place like KFC or Long John Silvers (LJS), both of which offer all you can eat specials around here. All you can eat at a fried chicken place is a bad idea. It may not seem like a bad idea at first until you get a few pieces of extra crispy in you and throw a scoop of every single side item they offer on top of it. Even worse is the LJS buffet. You just don't realize how much grease is in that stuff until you bite into it. By the time your on your second or third piece it really hits you. Note that for $2 less than the price of the buffet you can get the 5 piece dinner (3 pieces of deep fried chicken and 2 pieces of deep fried fish), which comes with 2 sides and 2 hushpuppies, so if you're getting the all you can eat, you have to at least eat more than that to get your money's worth.
Our town is lucky enough to have our own Elvis impersonator. Several years ago, he opened his own restaurant. It's called the Fat Elvis Diner. It's a diner that sells burgers and chili and the inherently Oklahoman "onion burger". I thought about taking ICJ there when he was in town, but the water's not exactly clear and the ketchup bottles are a little sticky and when you refer to the place as a greasy spoon, it's not just a saying.
The Fat Elvis Diner has not been without controversy. Last year, Fat Elvis was busted for selling oxycodone in the restaurant to an undercover officer, and in 2007 his daughter was stabbed to death in a horrible murder. There's a lot of locals that won't eat at the diner anymore, which I think is a shame. It's a dirty, filthy hole in the wall place with great food.
Which brings me to their all you can eat buffet. It's $8, and they limit you to 3 items at a time. The guy next to us yesterday ordered it. He got two burgers (a quarter pounder and a half pounder) and an order of chili-cheese fries. Where do you go from there? I mean, doesn't that "3 at a time limit" seem like a challenge? Wouldn't you feel like you had to at least go two rounds?
I don't know where I'm going with this now. All I know is, an onion burger, an order of tator tots and an extra large frito chili pie used to sound like a good time. Now it sounds like an evening on the pot. Just sayin'.
Take your average pizza buffet, for example. Back when I worked at Pizza Hut, I had a manager tell me that a large supreme pizza cost $1.80 to make, and $1 of that was cheese. Your average buffet pie has closer to a buck's worth of ingredients on it. If you pay $5 for all you can eat at a pizza joint, unless you manage to put down five large pizzas, they come out ahead and you feel like you got your money's worth. Don't forget the $2 glass of soda, in which you can only put about a dime's worth of drink into. And in the back of the restaurant, the manager is praying that you eat some salad. I doubt a human being could actually eat $5 worth of lettuce in one sitting.
Now take some place like KFC or Long John Silvers (LJS), both of which offer all you can eat specials around here. All you can eat at a fried chicken place is a bad idea. It may not seem like a bad idea at first until you get a few pieces of extra crispy in you and throw a scoop of every single side item they offer on top of it. Even worse is the LJS buffet. You just don't realize how much grease is in that stuff until you bite into it. By the time your on your second or third piece it really hits you. Note that for $2 less than the price of the buffet you can get the 5 piece dinner (3 pieces of deep fried chicken and 2 pieces of deep fried fish), which comes with 2 sides and 2 hushpuppies, so if you're getting the all you can eat, you have to at least eat more than that to get your money's worth.
Our town is lucky enough to have our own Elvis impersonator. Several years ago, he opened his own restaurant. It's called the Fat Elvis Diner. It's a diner that sells burgers and chili and the inherently Oklahoman "onion burger". I thought about taking ICJ there when he was in town, but the water's not exactly clear and the ketchup bottles are a little sticky and when you refer to the place as a greasy spoon, it's not just a saying.
The Fat Elvis Diner has not been without controversy. Last year, Fat Elvis was busted for selling oxycodone in the restaurant to an undercover officer, and in 2007 his daughter was stabbed to death in a horrible murder. There's a lot of locals that won't eat at the diner anymore, which I think is a shame. It's a dirty, filthy hole in the wall place with great food.
Which brings me to their all you can eat buffet. It's $8, and they limit you to 3 items at a time. The guy next to us yesterday ordered it. He got two burgers (a quarter pounder and a half pounder) and an order of chili-cheese fries. Where do you go from there? I mean, doesn't that "3 at a time limit" seem like a challenge? Wouldn't you feel like you had to at least go two rounds?
I don't know where I'm going with this now. All I know is, an onion burger, an order of tator tots and an extra large frito chili pie used to sound like a good time. Now it sounds like an evening on the pot. Just sayin'.