Jolt Country

I've made and eaten a lot of burgers in my time. I think this is my favorite.

It's called a burger onioncheese instead of an onion cheeseburger because the onion and the cheese are really the star here, with the burger just providing texture, along for the ride.

INGREDIENTS
----------------
Hamburger bun
1/3 pound 80/20 ground beef
1/2 yellow onion
2 slices American cheese
Salt (optional)
Mustard (optional)
1 tbsp vegetable oil

1. Get your half onion by taking a whole onion, cutting off the stem end, and halving the rest lengthwise. This should allow you to slice the half into half-moon shapes.

2. Slice the half onion into half-moon slices, as thin as humanly possible.

3. In large pan, heat oil on medium-high, add onions, salt to taste.

4. After onions begin to soften, push to one side of pan, take ground beef in a ball, throw into other side of pan and smash down with spatula. Salt to taste.

5. Continue to stir onions in other side of pan.

6. After four minutes or so, flip burger. Begin to lightly toast the bun.

7. Once onions have stared to get a nice light brown color, push to edge of pan to stop cooking.

8. After four more minutes, in pan, put one slice of cheese on burger, then top with onions, then top with second slice of cheese and top half of bun.

9. Put bottom half of bun on plate, add mustard if desired.

10. With spatula, move entire mess in pan onto bottom bun.

Best burger ever.

As to thinning the onions, they did the same trick with garlic in the movie Goodfellas, when the guys in prison made themselves spaghetti and sauce, the guy would shave fresh garlic with a razor blade so the garlic would practically dissolve as soon as it hit the pan.

And if the burger is just "along for the ride" try making this concoction without hamburger and see the difference in taste.

I have a question because it reminded me of something. Back around 1996 I met a lady from Denver over the Internet - what is interesting is I met Andrea, who lived in Lakewood, a few miles outside Denver, over the Internet - about a year or so after I met this lady. (And yes, I know it's two different women; I spoke to both of them.)

The point of this whole thing was this lady was allergic to onions. So I got thinking about it, what would you do to try to get a taste substitute if someone was allergic to onions?

I sometimes think about all the things I eat that in one way or another someone is allergic to. Wheat, (in hamburger buns), wheat gluten, peanuts, milk (lactose), onions. I just wish I'd been allergic to fat and sugar then I'd never have gotten in the shape I'm in.

Tdarcos wrote:I sometimes think about all the things I eat that in one way or another someone is allergic to. Wheat, (in hamburger buns), wheat gluten, peanuts, onions. I just wish I'd been allergic to fat and sugar then I'd never have gotten in the shape I'm in.

Nobody is allergic to any of those things, or none of us would even be here. That's all poppycock devised for white people to feel special and pay extra money to get to announce that "they can't have _____" loudly in restaurants and grocery stores.

And you can't replace onion flavor, unless it's with like, shallots or some shit, but those are a close enough relative of onions that if you were allergic to one (which nobody is) you'd be allergic to the other.

pinback wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:I sometimes think about all the things I eat that in one way or another someone is allergic to. Wheat, (in hamburger buns), wheat gluten, peanuts, onions. I just wish I'd been allergic to fat and sugar then I'd never have gotten in the shape I'm in.

Nobody is allergic to any of those things, or none of us would even be here. That's all poppycock devised for white people to feel special and pay extra money to get to announce that "they can't have _____" loudly in restaurants and grocery stores.

And you can't replace onion flavor, unless it's with like, shallots or some shit, but those are a close enough relative of onions that if you were allergic to one (which nobody is) you'd be allergic to the other.

Hey, Chrome Dome, you willing to put your money where your mouth is? Care to make a bet that there aren't people that can be proven will get sick, ill, or possibly die when exposed to peanuts? or to onions? or wheat gluten? Or lactose? Because I think it's been conclusively proved that some people do have food allergies and some of these allergies are life threatening.

There are people who have peanut allergies so severe that they have to carry an EpiPen; a portable injector with epinephrine so they don't have a heart attack. You'd know about an emergency injection for such purposes, there's a small scene, probably almost unnoticeable, in Pulp Fiction where Marcellis' wife overdoses and she has to be given a "shot to the heart."

Actually, they could have had that scene begin with the guy saying "Did you see a sign over my garage saying 'Dying O.D. Bitch Storage'?"

Tdarcos wrote:

pinback wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:I sometimes think about all the things I eat that in one way or another someone is allergic to. Wheat, (in hamburger buns), wheat gluten, peanuts, onions. I just wish I'd been allergic to fat and sugar then I'd never have gotten in the shape I'm in.

Nobody is allergic to any of those things, or none of us would even be here. That's all poppycock devised for white people to feel special and pay extra money to get to announce that "they can't have _____" loudly in restaurants and grocery stores.

And you can't replace onion flavor, unless it's with like, shallots or some shit, but those are a close enough relative of onions that if you were allergic to one (which nobody is) you'd be allergic to the other.

Hey, Chrome Dome, you willing to put your money where your mouth is? Care to make a bet that there aren't people that can be proven will get sick, ill, or possibly die when exposed to peanuts? or to onions? or wheat gluten? Or lactose?

Yes. I will bet you $100,000 that nobody in history has ever been allergic to any of those things.

pinback wrote:

Tdarcos wrote:

pinback wrote: Nobody is allergic to any of those things, or none of us would even be here. That's all poppycock devised for white people to feel special and pay extra money to get to announce that "they can't have _____" loudly in restaurants and grocery stores.

And you can't replace onion flavor, unless it's with like, shallots or some shit, but those are a close enough relative of onions that if you were allergic to one (which nobody is) you'd be allergic to the other.

Hey, Chrome Dome, you willing to put your money where your mouth is? Care to make a bet that there aren't people that can be proven will get sick, ill, or possibly die when exposed to peanuts? or to onions? or wheat gluten? Or lactose?

Yes. I will bet you $100,000 that nobody in history has ever been allergic to any of those things.

And where would you get the $100,000, welsher?

(You wouldn't even pay the $5 you promised me, if you hadn't found out the name of that abortion movie I'd still be bugging you over it.)