Jolt Country

ROB O'HARA. Flack. Okay, as we always do about everything, we got off on the wrong foot on this thing.

I would like to know if you, ROB O'HARA, would like to be on the Don Rogers Show, at some point during the afternoon on Saturday, May 5, 2012, to set this all straight. You would be the very first guest, and would be on immediately after the terrible Ting Tings song and the show opening and would have all of the time you want.

This is my OLIVE BRANCH.

F-Flack? Are ya out there, buddy? Is this not acceptable?

ARE YOU ALL NOT ENTERTAINED?

F..... Flack? Friend? Buddy?

Sorry, Saturday, May 5th is a full day for me.

From 10-Noon I'll be at Onion Burger Day.

Mason's got a birthday party to go to from 1pm-3pm.

At 4pm we'll be at the El Reno Grascar lawn mower races.

Tip off for YOUR OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER is at 7pm, where the now 3-0 Thunder will close out the Dallas Mavericks.

I appreciate the offer, but Saturday's show will have to go on without me.

(cue fart noise)

Flack??? Are you out there?

Do either Monday or Tuesday nights next week work well for you?

My goal, once I get back from my upcoming nuptials, is to get on a regular schedule, like tuesday and thursday nights, or something like that.

Flack???? Hello?

Also, though I have never had an actual Oklahoma onion burger, I have worked hard to recreate the experience, and though I know I have not come close, I do recognize them as the height of burger perfection.

Oh. Whoops! There he is.

So look. If a tornado takes out the lawn mower races, can we "pencil you in" for a segment?

Sure, pencil me in. But write lightly ...

Onion burgers were created here in Oklahoma during the depression. After most of the cattle had died during the dust bowl, and because nobody had any money during the depression, a burger joint in El Reno began packing their meat with onions to make the patties look bigger. Thus, the onion burger was born.

This year they plan on breaking the world's record (again) by grilling a 750 pound burger. There's a big car show and a bunch of stuff for the kids to do, and then when the burger's done they just cut it up and you can get some for free.

I realize that is probably the most red neck thing any of you have read about, until the part where I said "and then we're going to the lawn mower races". They allow tailgating and really I am just going to have something to write about on my blog and to test my telephoto lens.

Understood. How are you for next week? I really want Don Rogers to read the questions I wrote for you, even though I know that what will probably happen is that Don will put the Bard's Tale 2 on and ask it the questions. That asshole!

Next show is 5 PM Pacific on Saturday, May 5.

Tentative guests are Robb Sherwin and Adam Leschack.

Flack?? Flack???!

The next show will be from 5:15 - 6:15 PM Pacific time, on Tuesday, May 8, 2012.

(The preshow will be from 5:00 to 5:15 and will feature me trying to feed the dogs and get them to shut the fuck up.)

Do you have guests planned? You burned the bridge when it came to Flack with your ill-advised and hurtful segment about him.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Do you have guests planned? You burned the bridge when it came to Flack with your ill-advised and hurtful segment about him.

I have no guests planned.

Rob O'Hara is welcome on the show, and I wish he'd come on it. Apparently he can't, or refuses to, tell the difference between a goofy fake radio show and real life, but that's where we're at. I was looking forward to having him on, but I guess it ain't happening.

So no. Probably no guests.

Robb, you are also welcome at any time, but I figured that would be too early for you, and I can't really do it any later than that this week, what with all the pre-marriage stuff going on.

Might just be a guy and a microphone.

Just because I have no pre-planned guests, anyone should feel free to call in at any point.

I suspect the novelty of this might be wearing off, though, so I am expecting tomorrow's show to be both GUEST and LISTENER-FREE.

Just a guy and a microphone.

Maybe you should try turning off all those fancy filters. My crappy sounding podcast is doing okay.

Jesus Christ. I don't u-- okay, this is the thing. You came on this BBS three years ago or whatever it was, and got all butthurt because I said some stupid shit, and then we all had this big dramatic thing where we ALLLLL had to explain to you how this place works.

I thought you had it figured out.

Then I do the goddamn dumb fake radio show, and we're back at square one.

If you really "got it", which you do not, and never will, you wouldn't post those numbers HERE. I don't care about them HERE. I wish you well HERE. I am aware that I will never have any listeners, and that your show is and probably always will be waaaaay more popular than the Don Rogers Fake Radio Hour, and that's great!

Call the GOD DAMN SHOW and call me a fuc-- well, don't say the F word, but read the numbers there and call me out on my shit. That's fun. That's good (fake) radio. That's entertaining to listen to.

There's not one goddamn person on this BBS that has any clue what the show is about, EXCEPT the one that I spent the first half of the last show screaming at. God bless you, Lysander. I'd ask you to explain it to the rest of these humorless fucking queens, but I can tell already it's pointless.

Wow, who can't take a joke now?