Marvel Delights

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Sun Mar 23, 2003 10:51 pm

Check out this picture... notice anything odd?

THATS RIGHT!!! Namor and Fantastic 4 movie posters! More movies with comic book characters -- BRING IT ON!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Mar 23, 2003 11:00 pm

What's the one under Shang-Chi?

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:22 am

Heh. I couldn't make it out, either. I was hoping you or someone else would recognize the name.

After a flimsy excuse for an "internet investigation" over at IMDB, I uncovered the production company pulling the strings -- Marvel Entertainment. How very appropriate.

Seeking more info, I eagerly clicked on the provided link.

--CLICK!--

Sadly, only a fraction of the movies listed within the picture were mentioned. With the release of these films years away, it wasn't a big surprise.

But get this, there was one upcoming Marvel movie not featured on this poster.

Hold onto your hats, 2003 will see the release of Man-Thing.

Curious. The release date is said to be June 6th of this year. Yet I haven't heard a peep about this. Not a peep.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:28 am

It looks like it might be... Deathlok? But I'd be shocked if he got a film.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:51 am

More shocked than Man-Thing getting a flick? C'mon, Robb, he's just a pile gunk! Here's a typical Man-Thing bio:

HEIGHT: approx. 7 ft.

WEIGHT: approx. 400 lbs.

AGE: 50-ish?

HAIR: OoPS! None.

EYES: Red.

SKIN: Green.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Man-Thing wears a hide of stinky mossy, green skin, elephantine roots/tusks, and twin crimson orbs in the place of eyes.

I.Q.: Whoops! None.

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Guardian of the Nexus of All Realities (huh?), Swamp Monster (yawn)

PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: Chemist

MARITAL STATUS: Separated

This piece of shit (literally!) gets his own piece of cinema? Where is the justice?!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 1:00 am

Right, Man-Thing deserves to be nowhere near a flick. Isn't Man-Thing a complete ripoff of Swamp Thing, anyway? I don't recall which came first. Both of them seem to be treading the same ground that the Hulk did, I guess, with the man vs monster thing going on.

Deathlok's "thing" is that he just shot a bunch of guys up, right? And that he had tan skin for extra-sexy racial mystery. Oh, and squinty eyes like every other Liefeld guy.

(Which reminds me: Liefeld almost never drew anything inside the area that artists section off for their eyes. I never, ever understood that. Drawing eyes and faces and so forth is like the greatest thing in comics, I would think. If comics were just talking heads, I could be a comic book artist. But there was Liefeld giving everybody little white slits. Never understood that.)

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Tue Mar 25, 2003 12:47 am

If I have my dates straight:

DC's Swamp Thing showed up in June of 1971.

.
.
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Whereas Marvel's Man-Thing debuted.... May 1971!

Congratulations, Man-Thing! You win obscurity and low fan appeal!

No big deal. Neither character has an overabundance in excitement. Man-Thing is one of those "heroes" that does as much damage to innocent bystanders as it does villains. His only true purpose is to guard the "Nexus of All Realities," although Howard the Duck managed to slip through to this reality.

Deathlok. He's the cyborg assassin, no? The one missing his nose, right? SNORE. I'd rather have a ROM movie any day!