Jolt Country

While bursting into a room to chase a cat, she knocked over the Amiga 500 that I had precariously set on top of a monitor on the floor. The top plastic cover is now cracked. Thanks, asshole!

I picked my upstairs bathroom as the place to put her while leaving the house for a few minutes. She ripped through the trim next to the door, shards of wood everywhere. Thanks, asshole!

Our cat has chewed two iPhone charging cables. After she chewed the first one, I lived without it for a while until breaking down and ordering a Chinese counterfeit one. Every time I charge my phone with that cable, the phone is unusable (the screen is unresponsive) while it's charging. I got used to juggling phones and chargers around until she chewed the second one up. That's when I had to buy two new sets of chargers and cables for about $50.

I don't think "everything" is wrong with Apple, but proprietary charging cables is definitely something that's WRONG with Apple.

Sprinkle Cheyenne pepper on anything you don't want chewed up. It will stop even an inbred pitbull.

Sometimes I sort of miss my old mutt I had with my ex-wife but I certainly don't miss the hassle that comes with owning such a beast. Also, thank god I don't have children.

My favorite dog-ruining-stuff moment was back in the 80s. My siblings and I (and some cousins, too, probably) were gathered around the C64, playing Phantasie II. We sucked at the game, but we'd name characters after ourselves and run off to the nearest dungeon, just to die (or possibly, a Black Knight would find us).

For those that haven't played Phantasie II, when your whole party dies, your group appears before the Gods, and they go through your party one-by-one, dictating who will be reincarnated.

We just did this over and over, literally cheering as our characters were respawned or doomed to oblivion.

Then, one time, we were moving through the wilderness or something, and all of a sudden, we stopped moving. Eventually, we looked down and saw that the dog had bitten clean through the joystick cord while we were playing (some reported seeing the dog reacting to a quick shock). It was our only joystick at the time so our Phantasie-II-playing days were over (there were more joysticks later on, but Phantasie II had already had its moment).

Having a cat that chews is not cool...




Had to buy some of this stuff to stop him...

http://s884.photobucket.com/albums/ac49 ... CF4374.mp4


Bad news is that if you ever handle the wires after spraying them (even months later) the Fuck You Kitty will get on your fingers and eventually in your mouth, even after washing. I attest that it is the most foul tasting stuff ever. 2 Girls 1 Cup would not eat this stuff if they were to put it in the cup.

Gremlin:

Not one but two Waring Blender Carafes
Toaster
Kitchen tile grout (?!? wtf dog)
Unicomp Spacesaver M keyboard
Pur water filter pitcher
Wine glasses
Casserole dish
Flour container
Door hinge
Nice cocktail glass
Rice cooker
Whole bottle of other dog's medicine, nice going, emergency vet trip there
Ate a whole bunch of dog feces which he then proceeded to vomit up on the rug
Smashed open the food container and ate like a gallon, which he then proceeded to vomit on my wife while she was in bed I am not even kidding

God damn this dog.

Bruce

Whoa, is this Gremlin a new Swissie??!

In the late 90s while living in Spokane, I drove up to Edmonton (my first trip to Canada, eh) to visit and trade software with a guy I knew from IRC. It was also a ploy to try and become a permanent op on the same channel, but that's another story.

So the guy has a great dane, and he tells me "make sure you put your stuff away because the dog has been known to chew on things." So I make sure all my stuff is put away, because when someone tells you that their dog chews on stuff, usually they know from experience.

A few hours later I go into the spare bedroom where I am staying and the dog has pulled my wallet out and has got all my money out and is chewing on the money. Which is kind of funny looking because Canadian money is all different colors, although it's hard to tell through the tears. I think the dog ate about $140 worth of cash of mine if I remember correctly. Depends on the exchange rate ...

To this day I don't remember why my wallet wasn't on my person, which is unusual. Just don't remember. Maybe I had just changed clothes or something.

It is possible I could have recovered some of the cash by sifting through the dog's shit at a later date but I wasn't there that long.

Great Danes go about 6'2", 6'3" and they aren't allowed to work in Canada, which is why it tried to take your money.

Gremlin is a new Swissy. Well, we've had him about a year and a half now. He's a rescue dog, who has a bunch of separation anxiety issues. We have declared his birthday to be April 1, 2009, which is probably pretty close. It's the right day philosophically anyway.

I'll post pictures sometime when I'm not at work. He's very sweet. But he also eats everything in sight very inappropriately when he's stressed, and his default behavior if you express displeasure is to throw himself on the floor and pee all over himself.

He's a handful.

Bruce

Oh yeah, and then there was a couple weeks ago, when about 11:30 PM he started licking frantically and retching unproductively.

Now, that's a bad sign because it means the dog might be bloating, which is a common way for Swissies (and other big-chested dogs like Great Danes) to die. So I sat up till like 2:30 with him, constantly checking his stomach--which was not distended, so he didn't seem to be bloating.

And I tried giving him Pepto, and a little food, and nothing helped much.

Then about 3 AM he had a productive retch, and in the pile of dog food, there was, of course, one of Amy's socks.

He was fine after that. The sock? Not so much.

Bruce

Jizaboz wrote:Sprinkle Cheyenne pepper on anything you don't want chewed up. It will stop even an inbred pitbull.

I never thought of cayenne pepper. I had a dog, his name was Buttons, that liked to chew on the coax for the cable. So I got some glue and garlic salt. He tried once or twice, gave a really strange movement of the head like he didn't like the taste of the cable after I had "improved it", and never chewed on the cable again.

Surprising that he didn't like garlic. We lived in Montgomery County, Maryland. The county is big on recycling waste. Buttons also was a big supporter of recycling.