Jolt Country

So after laying down $50 or whatever it was for XCOM, I checked out the goings on over at gog.com, and one of the new releases was "MoonBase Commander", which sounded like maybe a sim game in space, which sounded cool, so I clicked on it.

It wasn't that. But I saw all the reviews and to a one, they were positively GLOWING, many of them saying that when this was released it was by far the most neglected classic of its time. What time was that? Ten goddamn years ago.

$6, what the fuck. I'll give 'er a go.

MINI REVIEW BY PINBACK
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How to describe it? It's turn-based, with a touch of that old Scorched Earth/GORILLA.BAS flavor, and just a smidge of RTS-style resource gathering and base-building. That was a terrible description, but I don't know how else to describe it.

You start with a "hub"! From this hub, you LAUNCH other buildings across the map, which remain connected to your hub by a bunch of blinky lights! You can also LAUNCH bombs and other weapons at enemy buildings! And to launch, you aim (from a top-down perspective) and then hold down the LAUNCH button as long as you think is correct to make the building or bomb go as far as it needs to.

Some buildings are defensive! Some are offensive! Some give you more energy (ability to throw things) if you can fine some resources on the map! There are a few other types of buildings/weapons, but not many!

It is simplicity itself.

And it is gobsmackingly amazingly addictive and wonderful. It may have been the best game of 2002 and just nobody noticed. It may still be the best game of 2012.

You WILL NOT spend $6 on a better game anytime soon.

http://www.gog.com/en/gamecard/moonbase_commander

This is a great game.

Imagine Scorched Earth, but from a top down instead of side-scrolling perspective. Now instead of just angle/power shooting guns, you can shoot out extra bases that link back to your base. This is the only way to get within shooting range of your opponents AND the only way to get any kind of decent income (via throwing collectors).

You cant cross lines back to your base, and if you lose a node everything "downstream" of it dies too. Some nodes give you money, some generate shields, etc.

Also the Lady Voice is hott.


If you are terrible at this game, like me, just lob homing missiles near what you want to wreck. Building a crawler swarm is a bad tactic, but hilarious if it works (hoard them behind a line to a node you don't care about, then scrap the node to set all bazillion of them free.)

The only problem I've found is that the AI is el retardo, meaning I can beat it 1v1 on the highest level after playing the game for a total of two hours. Not bragging, just saying that the true challenge here is either mismatched teams, OR multiplayer.

But the multiplayer assumes you are living in an age of LANs.

HAPPINESS ENGINE. Let's figure out how to play against each other over the internet.

You too, Robb. Christ, I'm buying you like a game a week here and getting nothing from it.

I don't play games. I don't "play" anything.

Still hot. So good. Still hot. So good. Still hot. So good. Still hot. So good. Still hot. So good. Still hot. So good.

STILL HOT.

SO GOOD.

Thank you, two cups of milk.

I WOULD BE UP FOR LOSING A TEN YEAR OLD GAME LIKE A FOOL.

A] I have to get my disc from the other room. (it's like under some cables man, you don't even know.)

B] I just got home, and now I am going away for the rest of the month, which is going to kill all momentum on this project.

Please create entertainment without me, so when I get back I can gnash my teeth and wail "WHY? WHY WAS I NOT THERE?!"