Jolt Country

I don't see a response to my carefully-chosen wordZZZZZZ on my board, so I'll ask here.

When's your next trip East? I know you're like, afraid of the terrerrizzzztzzz or something and may be afraid to fly, but I'm trying to figure it out so I know if I should have a "house party" soon or wait until you're in town.

Of course, if you fly Hooters Air, you will be the coolest honky who happens to be flying from Fort Collins to Rochester on that particular day. Or perhaps the least coolest. Either way, you'll be extreme and that's always a good thing, I think.

When's your next trip East? I know you're like, afraid of the terrerrizzzztzzz or something and may be afraid to fly, but I'm trying to figure it out so I know if I should have a "house party" soon or wait until you're in town.

Where do you get this shit? Afraid of terrorists? I've got hearty chunks of terrorist scum bubbling about in my colon, friend Walrustitty. I also purchased a collapsable police baton which I intend to take with me on future flights by putting it into an umbrella carrying case, so if Mohammed Attawful plans on driving the Airbus into the Sears Tower, I'll be able to get the thing, have him say "You know, opening an umbrella offers seven years of bad luck" and then start beating the shit out of him for:

1) Hijacking my air taxi
2) Fucking up the umbrella and broken mirror superstitions.

Of course, if you fly Hooters Air, you will be the coolest honky who happens to be flying from Fort Collins to Rochester on that particular day. Or perhaps the least coolest. Either way, you'll be extreme and that's always a good thing, I think.

Actually, I've had to cancel any travel plans that I've had because my company is selling us off. The main headquarters is in California, and they don't see how anybody can make any money with Integrated Internet Appliances. So they announced that they put our division in Longmont up for sale, and they've begun the selling process. I don't know how it's going, but I don't think it's going well. So I don't know if I am going to have this job a few months down the road. They have ponied up severance packages so attractive that you'd take them to your prom and still have fun whether or not they decided to cap the evening off with some patented "Severance Prom Johnson Slurping," but still, I've been trying to save my bucks. I was supposed to be in St. Louis this weekend with Bruce and be buying myself a Discs of Tron cabinet* but I've instead been throwing all my money into a fund that gives me maximum time to find another programming job if I lose this one, so that I don't need to go work at the mall selling video games to fat white kids, single mothers and, on the day that NBA Live comes out, angry gangsta urbanites.

So to answer your question, I'm not sure.

On the other hand, if I and everybody out here gets canned I'll probably eventually move to either Buffalo, Rochester or Syracuse. My lease ends in July and if I am unemployed there's no compelling reason to be out here any longer. I can be just as unemployed within get-together range of all my friends. Mike's moving back rain or shine at the end of the year, anyway, so he won't be around to keep me sane.


* Okay, probably more like a working Spy Hunter**
** Okay, probably more like a cocktail Ms Pac Man***
*** Okay, probably more like a standup Mr. Do!****
**** Okay, probably more like a fucking Arkanoid*****
***** A broken one

Dude, such good and bad news all rolled into one. Well, I suppose for you, it's mostly bad news - especially the concept of picking up a Discs of Tron cabinet. (Dicks of Tron sucks BALLS. Mr. Do only slightly better. Arkanoid almost, almost respectable.)

I had a dream a couple months ago that I was at some arcade game sale, buying stuff - I know I got a Ms. Pac-Man, and maybe one or two others. Don't remember for sure. Shit, gotta get that Baby Pac-Man game out of my uncle's barn. Maybe I'll do that this weekend. Anyways, had a dream even longer ago that I was being held prisoner in this sprawling mansion by some evil dude, but he had a pretty damn good arcade game collection, so we were able to play games before our date with DOOM. (Not the game.)

Anyways, so, I guess I shouldn't wait at this point. I did hear news of various shady business deals coming out regarding your company, but didn't know how they'd affect you. Actually, DUDE! If you come back before the end of June, I've got a kick-ass apartment you can move in to. Wonk wonk wonk. Gotta pay for that apartment until June, and it'll be completely unoccupied until then...

Hopefully things will look up soon. It would be great to see you back in snowy Rochester (fucking winter weather advisory today - unreal), and I have to say, even if I didn't want you anywhere near my goddamned city, it makes a lot more sense to be here in Rochester than it does to be out there, unemployed, with a freshly-renewed lease, your brother leaving soon, and, well... alone. Bitterly, desolately alone.

Now wipe that tear away, you simpering fag! Point being, when you're hunting for a job, it's better to be where you've got a home you can hang out in (ie, maw & paw) and a real support network of family and friends, and where the living is definitely cheaper, than to be somewhere where you've got nowhere to go if you find yourself about to sign another year's lease with no job prospects in site.

My company just switched to better management, hopefully one of these years we'll get back into hiring mode - it's inevitable, and if so, then I'll certainly do what I can to help get you hooked up. Much as I am not a cockblocker, I am not a jobblocker.

Oh, and Cleo is in town, and single. 'nuff said.

Do not even fucking THINK of going back east without coming to California in time to watch Disneyland covered in poison gas and the whole state drift off into the ocean.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:(Dicks of Tron sucks BALLS. Mr. Do only slightly better. Arkanoid almost, almost respectable.)

You're anti Discs of Freaking Tron? What next? You're going to tell me that you saw an I, Robot in some Sugarcreek store and you kicked the monitor in?

I plan on getting married in a Discs of Tron environmental cabinet.

Shit, gotta get that Baby Pac-Man game out of my uncle's barn.

That's just it. You've got the house now. With it being new, you're pretty much all set from having to worry about rotting pipes or painting shit or anything like that. Get Baby Pac in the basement and let's get the party started! (Did you ever define what was wrong with it? I know it was the monitor, but is it as simple as just dropping a new one in?)

Gotta pay for that apartment until June, and it'll be completely unoccupied until then...

Yeah, I am in the same situation. I've got mine until the end of July.

Now wipe that tear away, you simpering fag! Point being, when you're hunting for a job, it's better to be where you've got a home you can hang out in (ie, maw & paw) and a real support network of family and friends, and where the living is definitely cheaper, than to be somewhere where you've got nowhere to go if you find yourself about to sign another year's lease with no job prospects in site.

Right. Ideally I'd like my next job to be with somebody who is making computer games in some capacity, but shit, at least otherwise I can be somewhere where I can get a good pizza. Plus, who knows how many years mom and dad have left. Everybody gets along now like something out of a 50s Sit Com, so that could be pleasant as well.

My company just switched to better management, hopefully one of these years we'll get back into hiring mode - it's inevitable, and if so, then I'll certainly do what I can to help get you hooked up. Much as I am not a cockblocker, I am not a jobblocker.

Does EDS hire a lot of programmers? I only know of them, as they used to supply us with equipment like PCs and such at Xerox. I am not sure what really goes on there.

Oh, and Cleo is in town, and single. 'nuff said.

Has there ever been a determination as to whether or not I am "dating material" with that girl? Can we get a ruling there? That's all the reason any man should need to move any where, but if my lack of a criminal record is to be held against me, that's important information that I need to have.

Vitriola wrote:Do not even fucking THINK of going back east without coming to California in time to watch Disneyland covered in poison gas and the whole state drift off into the ocean.

If I do move back, I would love to "go tour." Acrid green sunsets with Vitriola! An "Audioslave" concert with Pinback! A D&D session with One of the Bruces! A... er, fortified bunker tour with Debaser! Taunting the howler monkeys at the zoo with Roody! Hammer and sickle sharpening with k. roo! And, oh yeah, starring in full-feature motion pictures, meeting one impossibly-cute girl IMMEDIATELY after another, and getting totally and completely pap-schmeared* with Greg and Gerrit. The Ice Cream Jonsey World Tour 2003! EVERYBODY RUNS!


* that is a term that I am using to indicate "drunkeness." Thank you.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Does EDS hire a lot of programmers?

You really, really don't want to work for them. They're all about policing their employees' morals during their off time and shit like that. Everyone I know who's worked for EDS has both hated it and not lasted very long.

Bruce

Nobody ever visits me.

:(

I mentioned the "Audioslave" concert with you, Weepy.


SPR-ZZZZIEEERRRR WWRRRREERR WRRRREERRRRR WWEEERRR WEERRR WWEEERRRRRR

"LOL!"

(thwack)

-- Sounds of the guitar solo from "Like a Stone" being played in concert, and then either Jonsey or Ben saying "LOL" followed by the other one hitting him to shut the fuck up and let the song continue to play.

THAT GUITAR SOLO SOUNDS "LIKE A STONE" FELL ON HIS GUITAR.

GET IT?

n/t

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You're anti Discs of Freaking Tron? What next? You're going to tell me that you saw an I, Robot in some Sugarcreek store and you kicked the monitor in?

I plan on getting married in a Discs of Tron environmental cabinet.

Ah, well, you didn't mention the environmental cabinet. (Probably the only known instance of Jonsey being environmentally-friendly.) There were standup cabinets for it, too, ya know. Still, the game itself sucks balls. If you're after a good sit-down game, you just can't touch the old Star Wars vector game. What a classic.

Get Baby Pac in the basement and let's get the party started! (Did you ever define what was wrong with it? I know it was the monitor, but is it as simple as just dropping a new one in?)

Well, it'll probably stay in the garage until it gets functional. If I do say "fuck it" and decide to pay some knob-twiddler to fix it proper, I don't want to have to lug it back upstairs, then downstairs again after said fixing. I haven't really touched in since we had the apartment - soon after, it was carted to my uncle's barn and there's where it's been ever since. I do see it in the spring and fall when I take my Lotus in/out of storage.
FWIW, the monitor is "in storage" on top of my parent's garage, completely seperate from the console itself. I'll need to retrieve that and maybe find a good arcade-restoration message board and get some feedback.

Right. Ideally I'd like my next job to be with somebody who is making computer games in some capacity, but shit, at least otherwise I can be somewhere where I can get a good pizza. Plus, who knows how many years mom and dad have left. Everybody gets along now like something out of a 50s Sit Com, so that could be pleasant as well.

Well, that's what happens when you're not actually living together (or at least, haven't been living non-stop together for 20 years.) I get along famously with everyone from my folks to my sister, which wasn't always the case.

Were I in your shoes, I would first spray them with antibacterial cleaner (who knows what kind of biological disasters are going on in there), then I would save my pennies & dimes and start figuring out how I was going to move all my shit to Rochester. (C'mon, Buffalo or Syracuse? Eccchhh!) Could it all fit in a U-Haul truck, with the Black Rage on a tow rig? If so, could you talk your brother or someone else into riding shotgun as so not to go bonkers on the long drive? Meanwhile, I'd keep my ears open as to whether or not anyone has considering hiring the group you work with to go work somewhere else. Hey, if you can stay gainfully employed, it's best to do that. Otherwise, make plans to crash at the folk's house for a least a couple months, until you "get back on your feet" and find a job, preferably not with the bitter, existance-hating short fat dude at EB.

Does EDS hire a lot of programmers? I only know of them, as they used to supply us with equipment like PCs and such at Xerox. I am not sure what really goes on there.

Well, nowhere hires a lot of anyone lately. I think one former developer (here, they're developers, not programmers) is imminently coming back - that'll be the first outside hire in while. Yeah, EDS does tons of programming. Though, as Nessman will tell you, it's damn hard for anyone to get a job nowadays. But, from what I understand, every single person who left EDS in the "boom years" of the internet has come sniffing around, looking for their old job back. Every one.

Has there ever been a determination as to whether or not I am "dating material" with that girl? Can we get a ruling there? That's all the reason any man should need to move any where, but if my lack of a criminal record is to be held against me, that's important information that I need to have.

Geez, I dunno. Her ex is moving out of town and she doesn't want a long-distance thing. She's stuck living with Boop at the moment, which means that they're both stressed most of the time. But, she has expressed interest in going to a titty bar with the usual group. Bitchin'!
(And, FWIW, her ex seemed to be a fairly decent dude. Apparently he used to come over and call Boop his "favorite Bancroft", while he was dating Cleo - that's fucking comedy.)

Cleo is working at the same library as Mrs Walrustitty now, and they work together every Thursday - hey, that's today!

In other news, your local ex is preggers again...

bruce wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Does EDS hire a lot of programmers?

You really, really don't want to work for them. They're all about policing their employees' morals during their off time and shit like that. Everyone I know who's worked for EDS has both hated it and not lasted very long.

Bruce

Listen, Incredible Hulk, I'm about to hit my five-year anniversary. I, of course, know people who have worked here at EDS a long time. This so-called "information" you're giving us about policing morals - it's utter fiction. The don't care what you do in your off hours. Hell, we've got one guy who claims to be a goddamn vampire, and only works at night, and he's still here. If they'll put up with that, they'll put up with almost anything.

I stayed at EDS while some others left during the heyday of IPOs and startups - and like I said, every single person who left has come crawling back. (And only one or two, if that, have been rehired, what with the shitty economy and the lousy leader that we had - now gone.)

I suppose there are worse people to be confused with than PTX.

DAMMIT. I couldn't recall which of you lived in the bunker.

Debaser, yours indeed should be changed to some sort of crime fighting reference, with a sub-reference to only fighting kids who commit crime, as based on what was put on the "About the author" field for your last JC Feature. (I can't get any more specific, as that would "unmask" your 10 or 12 aliases.)

JQW wrote:Geez, I dunno. Her ex is moving out of town and she doesn't want a long-distance thing. She's stuck living with Boop at the moment, which means that they're both stressed most of the time. But, she has expressed interest in going to a titty bar with the usual group. Bitchin'!
(And, FWIW, her ex seemed to be a fairly decent dude. Apparently he used to come over and call Boop his "favorite Bancroft", while he was dating Cleo - that's fucking comedy.)

It is good that she managed to find a nice fellow. (For everyone else following this thread, Cleo played "Clara" in Fallacy of Dawn. I hope that explains my fawning over of her in this thread. She is one of the five hottest women that have ever had multiple conversations with me.) But shit yeah, I didn't mean to imply that I wanted to "e-date" her or anything. I can barely manage to keep a woman's extended interest when in the same city -- outside of an ability to "drop," if I may use a Banky Edwardsism, well, I'm just some guy posting as anonymous gimmicks on the Internet.

(... Who still happens to be "Internet Famous," if you're reading this, Cleo. Better to have bagged one guy famous in that way in your life than none in any way at all, narmean?)

Ah, well, you didn't mention the environmental cabinet. (Probably the only known instance of Jonsey being environmentally-friendly.) There were standup cabinets for it, too, ya know. Still, the game itself sucks balls. If you're after a good sit-down game, you just can't touch the old Star Wars vector game. What a classic.

Yes, but can you get married in it?

Q.E.D., my friend. Q.E.D.

FWIW, the monitor is "in storage" on top of my parent's garage, completely seperate from the console itself. I'll need to retrieve that and maybe find a good arcade-restoration message board and get some feedback.

Jesus Christ. You know, in the graphic novel "Kingdom Come," Superman reveals that he eventually buried some of Brainiac's circuitry on Saturn, some on Argo, and some in the Pulitzer on Clark Kent's desk. It's nice to see that the "Brainiac Section Theory" has also found it's way to your Baby Pac Man machine. I now consider it a race against time -- which happens first, I return home for a week or you get that thing running again.

"Always bet on black" -- W. Snipes

(C'mon, Buffalo or Syracuse? Eccchhh!) Could it all fit in a U-Haul truck, with the Black Rage on a tow rig?

Syracuse is where I was happiest though. Ali Baba's pizza truck right outside the campus door, a chick one floor up to sleep with, and no real responsibility when I gave up studying.

I don't think I could fit it all in a U-haul tugged by the Rage. I've only got a Wega, Washing Machine and the Crystal Castles game that takes up any significant room, though. Maybe one of those U-hauls that also hauls your car. That might work.

Though, as Nessman will tell you, it's damn hard for anyone to get a job nowadays.

Well, it's hard for Nessman to get a job, if you know what I mean. He probably had a few interviews cinched but then he called the interviewer a "pink-wristed cattle fag" on the way out the door or something.

In other news, your local ex is preggers again...

If congratulations are in order, do send them on my behalf. It's oftentimes hard to know if they are or not based on the information and who's doing the telling.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: At least otherwise I can be somewhere where I can get a good pizza.

Well, fuck.

I was hoping to talk you into moving to St. Louis, where the rent is low, the girls are easy, and you can play Super Pong/Atari 2600/Atari 7800/Colecovision/Intellivision/NES/SNES/Apple II/C64/(soon) Apple IIGS/DOS/BeOS/QNX/Mac/OS/2/Windows/Linux games EVERY NIGHT at chez Adam (with options on Atari 800 and Vic-20 if I can get the cabling).

But the pizza in St. Louis, not to put too fine a point on it, completely blows dead rancid syphilitic goats. Although Uno's is good, just like it is everywhere, and Talyana's and Racanelli's both do a decent--for the Midwest, but they'd be rightly sneered at in Jersey--New York style pizza.

Bruce

Start mailing your stuff back. piece by piece. then when you are ready to leave pack up the car and blow town. I bet it costs less to mail a washing machine than it does to rent a truck cross country. ( I am not being serious, BTW)

If you go to Disney, be sure to kick mickey in the balls for me...

THE
TAKE A BOW
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:But shit yeah, I didn't mean to imply that I wanted to "e-date" her or anything. I can barely manage to keep a woman's extended interest when in the same city -- outside of an ability to "drop," if I may use a Banky Edwardsism, well, I'm just some guy posting as anonymous gimmicks on the Internet.

No, I didn't mean to imply that I thought you were trying to e-date her. Geez, that's Lex's stock in trade, not yours! I'm just saying that that is why she's single again, not because her eyes suddenly opened to what a colossal fucking jerkoff he was (because he wasn't.) And I don't like any of my female friend's boyfriends, so that's a bit of an endorsement, coming from me.

Syracuse is where I was happiest though. Ali Baba's pizza truck right outside the campus door, a chick one floor up to sleep with, and no real responsibility when I gave up studying.

Well, unfortunately, I expect that you will not be able to recapture that "lightning in a bottle" no matter where you move. However, Rochester can offer quality pizza and no responsibility (outside of finding a job and then performing said job), and at the very least, you have a couple leads on chicks here.

I don't think I could fit it all in a U-haul tugged by the Rage. I've only got a Wega, Washing Machine and the Crystal Castles game that takes up any significant room, though. Maybe one of those U-hauls that also hauls your car. That might work.

That's what I meant - hence, the reference to a tow thing for the Neon. Probably worth selling the washing machine rather than moving it, unless it's particularly special in some way or has some special memories - or is permanently infected by your batterfunk from washing too many spankerchiefs.

So, hope to see you back here soon. You're missing a spectacular ice storm at the moment - power out lots of places, schools closed, that kind of thing. How can you possibly not want to leave the.... oh, I just checked the weather, assuming it to be very warm there, and apparently it's only 37' - slightly beating out 28'. Global warming, my ass! I tell you, on mornings like this, garages kick particular ass.

Jesus Christ, you're not kidding. I've read that 65,000 are without power in Syracuse and Oswego.

It's got to be something like 63 degrees and sunny out here. Even Longmont is behaving nicely today. It was nice that we got a spring in Colorado this year -- it seems like it's been 90 with no sign of precipitation the last two years by April.

At any rate, while an ice storm is cool with me, being without power is definitely not. I'd go bonkers.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: It's got to be something like 63 degrees and sunny out here. Even Longmont is behaving nicely today.

Big Bad thunderstorms, maybe tornadoes coming here. It's 75 degrees now, going to be 35 before morning, and shedding that heat is going to get violent.

Whee.

Adam