Jolt Country

If there were religious nuts going door to door to discuss this it might make it more interesting.

Any how... My husband and I were discussing this, we decided on Walmart. Not a supercenter, a regular one, smaller, less chance of outbreak, easier to defend. Most foodstuffs at those locations would be non perishable so wouldn't have the concern of cleaning that up after being hold up a few weeks. They sell tools (weld up the front door with some carts). The sell planting supplies, start the process of an indoor greenhouse. Fill all the kiddy pools you can find with clean water while the tap is still running. etc.. etc..

To bite people.

I have thought about it loosely before but never put a full plan into action.

The first thing I suppose a person has to decide is if he or she really wants to survive. If the rest of your life is going to be spent searching for food, living in terror, hiding from zombies and (most likely) watching zombies eating the faces off of your family members, is there really a point to surviving? In the movies there's always hope of containment or rescue, but is that going to happen in real life?

Wow, this got off to a depressing start. Let's start over and say that, yes, there's a reason to live.

First you'll need the basics -- food, water, shelter. I don't know how long we'l have electricity, phones, or internet, but I'm guessing they'll all die sooner than later. I suppose my immediate course of action would be to Google things like "how to distill water" and "how to grow a carrot" and "edible things found in nature" and print them out. I don't possess many real world survival skills or knowledge.

The next step would be to get to my Dad's. My Dad has lots of weapons and bullets. I guess I'd load up all the food and guns I could get my hands on, lots of sleeping bags and clothes and stuff and any relevant books (I think my wife has a cook book with squirrel recipes) and maybe a modicum of electronics. I have a hand held CB and some other older gadgets I'd throw into a bag.

Between my father and I we have three pickup trucks. With gear and family loaded up, we would head to my Uncle's. My Uncle lives far outside the city (about four hours) and he is quite capable of living off the land. Each year he kills a deer, cures the meat or whatever, puts it in his freezer and eats for a year. My Uncle doesn't get cell phone signal or internet at his place and could probably care less if electricity went out for a year or two. He has access to an infinite supply of food and water (I once went to a pot luck dinner with him and tried "Possum Pie") and I'm guessing we could live for years in his part of the country without zombies or anyone else ever finding us. My Uncle owns 640 acres that include several ponds and animals to eat. There's a lot bigger chance of getting killed by a bear than a zombie out there.

So, I guess that's my plan:

01. Grab the essentials
02. Meet with family
03. Head out to the middle of nowhere
04. Learn to like squirrel and wild berries

I honestly think a real life zombie outbreak would be squashed in a few hours.

A - We are all fully trained in dealing with zombies. Nobody doesn't know about the head thing.

B - There are around legal 300 million guns owned by U.S. citizens. At least 90% of them bought guns in case of a zombie outbreak. Add in the police and the military. Add in all the people with illegal guns. We're more than ready to deal with a bunch of shuffling corpses.

C - In real life zombies aren't going to come busting out of the graves. They don't have the muscle power to bust open a coffin under 6 feet of dirt. The only zombies possible would be the ones who are dead and still laying about.

So...

A relative low number of zombies in comparison to how the movies present it.

+

Millions of armed people who have been aching for a chance to shoot zombie.

+

A zombie obsessed culture where everybody knows run, hide, shoot em in the head.

=

No problem whatsoever.

But what if it's the World War Z zombies though? (spreads quickly, and very mobile, fast moving zombies)?

We're all gonna die.

Shambling horde.

OMG- Z:A Zombie Musical? How did i not know about this... by Don McLean, the same one who did American Pie? NO WAY!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_zombie_films[/url]

John McLean not Don McLean =(
Still interested though Zombie musical...

Also check out "Repo: The Genetic Opera*" (though it isn't available to stream via Netflix) as a fun little sci-fi / zombie genre inspired musical.

*does not include zombies

Well, you have to prepare. First, I need to get one of those:



Then I could walk around normally without the fear of getting bitten.

Chain mail defense... original.

"Survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse; Hardcore Renn Fest Enthusiasts"

And LARPers

Instead of dry cleaning you'd need to get derusto and oiled. I bet it'd pull all the back hair off me.


THE
MEDIEVAL DEPILATORY
AARDVARK

No, no, no, as a handicapped guy in a wheelchair who can't move very fast, I know the real answer.

Bruce: There's a bear coming!
Man #2: I'm running!
Bruce: We can't outrun that bear!
Man #2: Bruce, I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you! Once he stops to eat you, I'll be long gone!

It works for a zombie apocalypse just as well.

If I have some free time today I'm going to do some research and try and find out how old that joke is.

Banquo: Hath yonder bear, art yon to consume, Hamlet, our mortal bones. Fie, and angry he is.

Hamlet: Doth run away and flee should we, ere bear, large and fierce, greets us with claw and tooth.

Banquo: Alas! too fleet of foot yon verily mountain of brown death comes to us as eagles flight on high. Tis of no avail dear Hamlet, to take wing of heels.

Hamlet: To run fleeting of bear nay verily. Flee faster than you odds bodkin, I only need to do.


THE
NO METER
AARDVARK

Vark- any interesting in replacing Shakespeare in the park with Zombie movie, and Bear Fleeing adaptations?

It would be interesting to add a zombie element to the works of Shakespeare, wouldn't it.


THE
MACDETH
AARDVARK

AArdvark wrote:It would be interesting to add a zombie element to the works of Shakespeare, wouldn't it.


THE
MACDETH
AARDVARK

I'm not sure, but either someone has done it or they did it for some other piece of classic literature. Maybe it was Pride and Prejudice.

Found one:
William Shakespeare takes on the Zombie Apocalypse
"Michigan State University’s Department of Theatre brings the zombie apocalypse to East Lansing in its supernatural drama “William Shakespeare’s Land of the Dead” by John Heimbuch."