Jolt Country

So far, after one turn, we are all at war. Not the factions in the game mind you, but the players themselves, because:

1. Apparently in the last twenty years certain people have forgotten how to "save", "load", and "send" game files, which are three key components to the PBEM experience.

2. The one expert at the game is trying to dick with the options so that his expertise gives him an even BIGGER chance of winning, even though against two other noobs there is already literally no way he could lose unless one of us pulled some Kobayashi Maru shit.

3. One PBEMer complaining that he doesn't like using email. Apparently he thought the "EM" in "PBEM" stood for... "Ehhhhh, mIRC??"

4. I'm sure there's more, and I suspect this is going to get worse before it gets better.

Much, much worse.

It is going to get worse, but we'll stick with it!

Mainly because Pinback is playing a black guy and Jonsey the prettiest woman on Planet... Which I'm sure are fantasies they both wouldn't be able to follow through with otherwise.

pinback wrote:So far, after one turn, we are all at war. Not the factions in the game mind you, but the players themselves, because:

Agreed. In the *game*, we're all attempting to carve out a living on this alien world.

Outside the game, I have developed a distaste for you people that wishes you all instantly hang.

3. One PBEMer complaining that he doesn't like using email. Apparently he thought the "EM" in "PBEM" stood for... "Ehhhhh, mIRC??"

I'm not putting gmail into fucking conversation mode, as suggested. I am not changing the entirety of how my email works for this, this LARK. You'll all hang for that suggestion. Of Google's many crimes, fucking with e-mail is one of their greatest.

Luckily, you two have stumbled, literally stumbled into playing with the world's most capable Automation Engineer. Thanks to Alpha Centauri not being an iOS app, I am positive I am playing the right game. The correct way to do it is to have a Dropbox that we put the save-game in, and get notification through our phone when it's been updated.

I will take steps to ensure this happens.

And your response, Pinner?

Yeah, seriously. Let's take some goddamn steps to communicate here.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yeah, seriously. Let's take some goddamn steps to communicate here.

Well, I'd research communication but NOBODY WILL TAKE THEIR FUCKING TURN.

Okay, this was a terrible idea, and halfway through turn two I am canceling it.

I am now real-life enemies with the other two players.

Now that I have all of the information, I am un-canceling this. My decision was rash, but CORRECT, given the information I had at the time. Now I have new information, so we will continue one more turn, at which point I will cancel it for some other reason.

This isn't going well at all!

It's going fine. You guys start a play by email game right before a long holiday. I get enough shit from women regarding computers, I'm not packing a laptop on a two day camping trip.

Just CALM DOWN. I'll get my move in later tonight. You guys knew you signed up for this when you asked me to be a part of it.

You didn't cancel your vacation to focus on the game?

Jesus Ech Christ, man.

Good point. He can vacation any time. Well, then again he went to New Orleans, so maybe he felt that he wanted to get in there before the city was destroyed again.

Nevertheless, I have dissolved all my treaties with him.

The principal designer of Alpha Centauri (Gool ol' Sid was plastered on the box to just sell copies) Brian Reynolds responded to my tweet:

RetroRomper:

@TheGameChief Why don't the PBM saves from Alpha Centauri reflect whoevers current turn it is? - 22 May

Brian Reynolds:

@RetroRomper 15 years later I'm afraid I don't even remember why! Glad you're still playing though.

NICE!

God, to be him and still getting questions about a 15 year old game and how come shit don't work... I'd kill myself, BUT it's cool that this experiment actually got more out of Brian Reynolds than the Civ 5 designers did OUUUUUUUUUCCCCHH

This is stupid. I'm not doing this anymore.

For the record, it is currently Pinback's turn in AC so he is essentially stalling the game for everyone.

Good job, asshole!

The game is over. Retro wins. Yaaay, Retro's the big winner.

Pinback noted that he is supposedly near to establishing his third base since Planetfall - I am calling bullshit and swear that I will see every one of his Citizens BURN IN HELL!

THIRD base? I don't even have two!

I am calling bullshit on this. I am going to admit that I can't remember if my treaties are all currently called off or not, but if I had any left, they're all invalidated by this.

Okay, it will be a few turns before I have base #3. I liked Retro trying to brag to me in IM about "almost got my second baaaase!" when I've had a second base for like a week (real-time).

Can we rename this thread "The Least Fun Anyone Has Ever Had Playing SMAC"?