Jolt Country

I scored a load of Paxil off my grandfather last night, and I've just taken my first dose.

Come with me as we explore the strange, wild, wonderful world of taking other people's prescription medication!!

HAHHAhahahHAHAH

This is funny? This is funny to you?

Or maybe you're laughing with me. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Is that it, Robb? Or do I need to start "accidentally" letting certain personal, very private facts about you start slipping out in this public forum?

Hah, hah, hah. I don't HAVE any "personal or private" facts LEFT. I live my entire life on the Internet, you attitude-thieving empavampire.

Go back to your Dashboard Confessional CDs and crying in your bed, you pathetic wretch. Let me spell out with emoticons what you're feeling.

Before Paxil: ^__^

During Paxil: o_0;;;

After You Take All The Paxil Pills You Have And Consume Vast Quantities Of Alcohol With It: +__+

You know who else had trouble with other people's medication? THAT'S RIGHT. Er, Ricky Williams. BUT STILL.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Before Paxil: ^__^

Right.

During Paxil: o_0;;;

Pretty much, yeah.

After You Take All The Paxil Pills You Have And Consume Vast Quantities Of Alcohol With It: +__+

We'll find out, won't we?

If you overdose on Paxil and Safeway Brand "King Soopers" Vodka (and you will), I am going to change the main page to be all-black so that everyone knows that we are "pulling for you" in the afterlife, which of course, you do not believe in.

And I mean all-black -- text, background, jpgs, everything.

Paxil could be good for you. Ricky Williams, who I mentioned before, ran for 1,800 yards hopped up on goofballs. He only got to 1,000 when he was doing it on his own. I don't know what the equivalent of 800 yards is in your life (Sex with a beautiful girl? A Pinback Web Central update? A rather jolly put-down against Clash? Snuggling with Frodo?) but it can be ALL YOURS so long as you're able to continually crib the goods from your grandfather.

On the other hand, you're probably depressing the living fuck out of Grandpapa as an effect. So watch out for that.

DRUGS UPDATE: 4/15/2002

Last night's first dose did not go... well. Mix in a bottle of red wine with your first half tablet of Paxil, and what do you get? Well, in my case, what you got was about 45 minutes of sleep throughout the entire night, leaving me somewhat woozy and out of it today (as well as late for work, but let's stick to the important stuff.)

Not one to be discouraged, I just took the other half RIGHT NOW, here at my desk, AT WORK. And I will (try) not (to) have any alcohol tonight, to see if it was just a bad mixture, or if this shit just totally fucks you up as a matter of course.

I should get 100 points for this.

Drugs are bad.

Shut the fuck up before I go change my answer on the Who Do You Hate poll. It was already a toss-up, so don't push your luck.

Quit giving Worm a hard time or I am going to punch you in your smug little holier-than-thou face.

Ah. I see.

Apparently one of the undocumented side-effects of taking Paxil is getting CENSORED BY THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR OF THIS SITE.

What's the problem, I thought you were the base monitor here. Afraid of yourself?

Everyone just SHUT UP, as we get back to:

DRUGS UPDATE (4/15, later that day)
---------------------------------------

Well, this has been a nightmare. For the two hours after I took the second half of the tablet, I was shaking uncontrollably. Then ever since then I've felt as if I was just on the edge of passing out and calling it a life.

Add to this the fact that I'm now seriously depressed and can barely rally the courage and energy to write this post, and we can only come to one reasonable decision:

THIS WILL CONCLUDE OUR DRUGS UPDATES.

The pills go back to Grandpa, who loves me.

Well, I, for one, appreciate the research. Next, can you take these orange thingamabobbers and tell me what they do.

(Edited to include classic Dark Star dialogue!)

"Negative effect!"
"What?"
"Negative effect!"
"It didn't work?"
"No!"

AUUGHH!!

I'm like, half unconscious and half hyperactive now!! This is NOT good. This is the opposite of good. See, this drugs stuff isn't going to work on a reasonably intelligent guy with SAD, because he'll start freaking out that he's acting weird and pull in even further.

I'm going to go punch my grandfather in the teeth!!

(Don't worry, he keeps them on his nightstand. HAHAHAHAHAHAA)

I can't help but think that this would be funnier if the poster had more than 13 posts.

Eh, what can you do. I just hate newbs, I guess.

Drugs are bad, mmm-kay?

At least I didn't do the South Park reference.

pinback wrote: This is NOT good. This is the opposite of good.

This is just what I said. I really believe all drugs are just terrible. They'll mess you up man!

Yeah, except maybe for the ones that save your life. Or are those terrible too, Mr. Faith-Healer?