2016 New-Years Resolutions
Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2016 7:23 pm
I have decided to publicly announce my New Years resolutions, and only to make ones I'm sure I can keep.
1. I will not drink antifreeze.
2. I will not eat broken glass.
3. I will not store nuclear waste.
4. I will not play with hand grenades.
5. I will not molest children.
6. I will not wash my eyes with drain cleaner.
7. I will not commit armed robbery including bank robbery
8. I will pray to any god who grants me a personal audience and provides his valid god license.
9. I will not remove mattress tags from mattresses I am not the consumer.
1. I will not drink antifreeze.
2. I will not eat broken glass.
3. I will not store nuclear waste.
4. I will not play with hand grenades.
5. I will not molest children.
6. I will not wash my eyes with drain cleaner.
7. I will not commit armed robbery including bank robbery
8. I will pray to any god who grants me a personal audience and provides his valid god license.
9. I will not remove mattress tags from mattresses I am not the consumer.