Lost and Found

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Thu Sep 15, 2016 1:57 pm

I wanted to create this topic so that there would be an area on this forum to post random (useless?) ideas and discussion points that would pollute the integrity of the main forum if they were given their own individual spots.

I am not sure why I am naming this Lost and Found, it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

Nothing is off topic on this post, just type whatever comes to mind, respond to somebody else's post here, or go off in your own direction.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Sep 15, 2016 2:27 pm

Okay. Go!

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Sep 15, 2016 3:15 pm

there would be an area on this forum to post random (useless?) ideas and discussion points

Oh, I thought that was this whole board.

THE
NON-SEQUITUR
AARDVARK

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Fri Sep 16, 2016 6:12 am

pinback wrote:Okay. Go!

Here is a quote from your Nomango page:

"Now, here's a banana. What's it taste like?

I'll let you struggle with that a while before I give you the answer.

...

Give up?

It is indescribable, because it is beyond description, beyond words, beyond concept. It is just that. It is just what is. And now you know, this is your life. Anything which is describable is conceptual only, a figment of your imagination, an illusion. Whatever is left is your life, is you, is all that there is.

What's it taste like?"

A banana tastes like isoamyl acetate (C7H14O2), which is the primary chemical compound that gives bananas their unique taste. It is neither a figment of your imagination or an illusion. Your taste buds and brain only relay information of what a separate entity tastes like, you can not shape its flavor or how your body reacts to eating it. It is essentially basic science.

Your question is deceptive in nature. Most people will not know to answer isoamyl acetate, and the English language is not complex enough to have a word that represents the flavor of bananas that does not have the word banana in it. Therefore, when people get hung up on the first part of your trap, they become receptive to whatever mumbo jumbo follows.

There is nothing conceptual about you and everyone else existing in the world, it is a very concrete principal. In fact this basic principal is the foundation of ethics and human society.

It is like that whole "If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound"?

Yes.

This is because the sound that it creates is not dependent on you being there.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 18, 2016 7:53 pm

I mentioned the dial-up BBS in a different thread tonight.

I really, really wish that I never took it down. I get so nostalgic for that thing, it's crazy.

Today, Melissa decided to cut the telephone wires that were attached to the house. It's unlikely that we'll ever get a land line. I wonder if there's anyone left in the US dialing bulletin boards with modems. That said, I wish mine was still out there.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:53 am

Level 29 BBS run by @FozzTexx still has an actual phone line you can dial in to, but people make such a big deal about it that I assume it's one of very few remaining.

When I first set up The Gas Chamber BBS, I was living with my wife (then girlfriend) in a mobile home. We had two phone lines, one for "voice" and one for "data." I took over the data line for the BBS, but because it was tied up 24/7 I couldn't dial out to other BBSes anymore, so we added a third phone line. Before long I connected the third phone line (our second data line) to the BBS, giving two nodes for people to call in. For a brief time I considered adding a fourth phone line (third data line) but, even to me, that seemed excessive.

My BBS was already known for having lots of available drive space (I had just added a gigabyte hard drive that I purchased from Best Buy with my employee discount for $599) when I added an external SCSI CD-ROM 6 disc changer. With that, every time I acquired 650 megabytes of files, I could burn them to a CD, move the CD to the changer, and free up drive space for the BBS. I didn't own a CD-ROM burner yet (this was 1994/1995) but I had one at work so whenever the gig drive would get close to 650 megs of files on it I would remove the drive, take it to work with me, connect it to the one computer we had that also had a CD-ROM burner, burn the files at 1x speed, and pray that the machine didn't hiccup while burning and ruin my $10 blank disc.

By 1996 when I moved to Washington, calls to my BBS had begun to dwindle. After moving I found a few local BBSes and started calling then, but by then people were abandoning BBSes in droves. In 1995 I had hopes that people would do both -- BBSes AND the Internet -- but suddenly that didn't seem to be the case. I even wrote an article about how the internet was a passing fad and that before long they would all come running back. Of course, they didn't.

Hoping that nostalgia might bring them back, after I moved back to Oklahoma in the spring of 1998 I set my BBS back up. Nobody called. I made a deal with myself that if the BBS ever went an entire day without a caller, I would take it down. When that happened, I extended my self-imposed threat to a week. When that happened, I either extended it to two weeks or a month. Finally, reality sank in. I gave up and pressed the off button for good.

Nobody noticed.

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 12:21 pm

I always thought that bulletin board services were part of the internet?

I also didn't know that there used to be separate lines for phone and data?

I remember the old apple computers at my grade school, I remember floppy disks as old as the 5 1/4. I remember when modems went "EEEEEEEE-EEERRRRRRRR-EEEEEEEEE-SHHHHHHHH" and it took several minutes for some bikini babe to show up on your screen as a picture. And I also remember how high tech the Pentium 1 processor felt when it first came out.

I also don't throw away old computers, I stack them up as is and use them for end tables or printer stands. The first computer I had was an NEC from about 1995, now I just build one whenever I need to.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 12:30 pm

Billy Mays wrote: A banana tastes like isoamyl acetate (C7H14O2), which is the primary chemical compound that gives bananas their unique taste. It is neither a figment of your imagination or an illusion. Your taste buds and brain only relay information of what a separate entity tastes like, you can not shape its flavor or how your body reacts to eating it. It is essentially basic science.

Right. You're describing the science behind "taste", but not describing the experience of tasting a banana. Now, describe the experience of tasting a banana.

Also, I got halfway into this response before I realized I wasn't replying to Paul.

Have you ever broken an Android tablet, out of curiosity?

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:12 pm

pinback wrote:
Billy Mays wrote: A banana tastes like isoamyl acetate (C7H14O2), which is the primary chemical compound that gives bananas their unique taste. It is neither a figment of your imagination or an illusion. Your taste buds and brain only relay information of what a separate entity tastes like, you can not shape its flavor or how your body reacts to eating it. It is essentially basic science.
Right. You're describing the science behind "taste", but not describing the experience of tasting a banana. Now, describe the experience of tasting a banana.

Your request is absurd!

Everything IS science.

pinback wrote: Have you ever broken an Android tablet, out of curiosity?

No

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:29 pm

Can you please list all of your old computers here? Slowly?

THE
BEIGE PLASTIC Pr0N
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 5:02 pm

Billy Mays wrote:Your request is absurd!

My request to "describe the taste of a banana" is absurd? Well, don't answer it then.

Everything IS science.

Now I think something happened to Paul in the hospital and this is some split personality disorder coming out and posting on the BBS. Paul Jr., right? Can we call you Paul Jr.?

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 5:42 pm

pinback wrote:
Billy Mays wrote:Your request is absurd!
My request to "describe the taste of a banana" is absurd? Well, don't answer it then.

I did answer your question, and how you perceive my answer has no bearing on its validity.

Asking me to describe the taste of bananas is not absurd; me describing the taste of bananas, then you telling me that I can not do so using science is absurd.

This is because the language to describe the taste of bananas is science.

It is the same level of absurdity as asking somebody to explain how to write large computer programs, them explaining it very clearly, and then you saying "Ok, now explain that back to me again, this time without making any references to algorithms".

I know you are trolling me, and I hope you one day get accosted by a group of sex starved degenerates in a darkened parking lot while the mace on your dropped key ring is just barely out of your reach. I also hope you have a good long time to think about how things went wrong that day when you are filling out the police report at the hospital.

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Mon Sep 19, 2016 7:18 pm

AArdvark wrote:Can you please list all of your old computers here? Slowly?

The first computer I purchased was a brand new NEC with the Pentium 1 processor in 1995, so I doubt my collection of computer furniture would excite anybody here. That being said, I did type out a huge wall of text that details my collection, but then my backspace button got stuck and started deleting all of it, and I went to go pull the button out of socket, and I hit something else and it exited me off of the forum, and I do not feel like retyping any of it.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Sep 20, 2016 8:09 am

Billy Mays wrote: This is because the language to describe the taste of bananas is science.

So if I say to you, please describe the Grand Canyon to me, you're going to show me a map and list a bunch of statistics about the width and depth and how it was formed, etc, etc.

Pathetic. Have you been out of your house, or are you too busy jerking it to old VHS tapes of infomercials in your basement to be bothered with all of that?

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Tue Sep 20, 2016 9:59 am

pinback wrote:
Billy Mays wrote: This is because the language to describe the taste of bananas is science.
So if I say to you, please describe the Grand Canyon to me, you're going to show me a map and list a bunch of statistics about the width and depth and how it was formed, etc, etc.

No, if you asked me to describe the Grand Canyon, I would premise it by saying how it is one of the 7 Natural Wonders of the World, how it is a rocky canyon that was carved out by the Colorado River, and is located in the state of Arizona. I would then describe it's beautiful earthen colors of browns, oranges, yellows, and the green plant life that clings to its sides. The vibrant pink and other myriad of colors of the sky as the sun rises over it. How it is 277 miles long, 18 miles wide, and has a maximum depth of 6,093 feet. I would then go more specifically into the geology of the formation if needed, as well as the cultural significance to each of the groups that occupied that area at one time or another.

And then you would say something completely inane like: "But how do we really know its real, I mean like really, really know its real? (followed by some combination of psychobabble and pseudoscience)."

To which I would explain how optic nerves located in our retina relay refracting light to our brain which then gets translated into images in our mind.

To which you would respond with something like: Describe that which is science, but not with science.

To which I would respond that: "You are either the dumbest goddamn person on planet Earth, or you are really a retired astronaut/neurosurgeon who been trolling me this entire time!"

And regardless of how this conversation concludes itself:

I hope, no I PRAY, that we will be having it on the top of the actual Grand Canyon so that I can then front kick you in your solar plexus à la the movie "300". And when I look down to see you helplessly falling back towards the cold embrace of oblivion, we lock eyes, and I see the light go on in your brain where you realize that I was right this entire time, and that your current predicament is solely the result of a series of poor life decisions on your part, right before your limp body bounces an almost inconceivable amount of times off of the rocky canyon floor.

Then, later on at the press conference, the President comes out and pins a chest full of medals on me just prior to somehow receiving the "Key to the City" from every mayor in the United States.

And while I can't speak for him personally, I imagine ICJ will then give me a second $20 gift card to Sizzler.

pinback wrote:Have you been out of your house,

No.

pinback wrote:or are you too busy jerking it

Yes.

pinback wrote:to old VHS tapes of infomercials

No.

pinback wrote:in your basement to be bothered with all of that?

Yes